Baby Showers

Would it be confusing?

Good evening ladies,

I am still pretty early in my pregnancy (18 weeks) but will be moving far away from my friends and family in August. H and I really wanted to have a baby shower/going away party before we move, but I am not sure about if the 2 really mix. I am not setting up a registry and am not expecting any gifts (though I'm sure a few close friends will want to bring small gifts) for our first baby. I wanted to keep it laid-back and fun for all of our friends, and was only planning on having some "baby girl" themed decorations and appetizers/desserts. The rest was going to be BBQ/buffet style, and alcohol will be served. H and I were planning on paying for all of this. Would this kind of celebration be appropriate, or just weird? TIA for all of your input! 

Me: 28 DH: 33 TTC since February 2012, married September 2012 DX with Hypothalamic Amenorrhea 2/2013, HSG clear, Bloodwork good, SA great! Started seeing RE February 2013
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Re: Would it be confusing?

  • I would just make it a going away party. If people want to bring baby gifts they will. If you add baby themed things to the invite or party it could make people feel obligated to being gifts or guilty if they didn't bring a gift.
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  • I think this sounds awkward for guests.  It's not clear whether you're hosting your own shower (don't) or simply holding a going away party.  Guests who bring gifts might feel awkward if it's not a shower, guests who didn't bring a gift might feel awkward if they see others with a gift.  Don't blur the lines. 
  • image greengirl0909:
    I think this sounds awkward for guests.  It's not clear whether you're hosting your own shower (don't) or simply holding a going away party.  Guests who bring gifts might feel awkward if it's not a shower, guests who didn't bring a gift might feel awkward if they see others with a gift.  Don't blur the lines. 

    All of this.

    4/12/10 - Began TTC 8/2012 - IFV #1 - 18 follicles retrieved, 11 usable, 10 fertilized, 9 continued to grow, 2 tranferred, BFN :( 9/2012 to 10/2012- Treated for uterine infection 11/12/12 - Began IVF #2 12/19/12 - 2 embryos tranferred 12/24/12 - Tested Christmas Eve morning - first ever BFP!!! with a due date of 9/6 :) 12/28/12 - Beta #1 - 193 12/31/12 - Beta #2 - 624 1/7/13 - Beta #3 - 7544 1/14/13 - Beta #4 - 31,067 1/16/13 - IT'S TWINS!!!! Two healthy heartbeats! 8/22/13 9:51 and 9:52pm- Our precious Ashley and Kayla arrived in perfect health.  (Ashley - 6lbs 0oz, 18.5 inches.  Kayla - 5lbs 2oz, 17 inches.)

     

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  • image Ajboocher:
    I would just make it a going away party. If people want to bring baby gifts they will. If you add baby themed things to the invite or party it could make people feel obligated to being gifts or guilty if they didn't bring a gift.


    This. i would just make it a going away party but I wouldn't put anything baby on the invitations, though I don't see a problem with a couple decorations at the party, at that point the guests are already there and stuff. But yeah, keep it to a going away party.

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  • You should never, ever host your own baby shower, so don't do it. Just have a going away party with absolutely no baby mentioned on the invites, no baby themed decor, etc.
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  • VORVOR
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    Yup- just throw a going away party.  DO NOT MAKE it about the baby.  If you do that, people will think it's a shower and they will feel they have to bring a gift.
  • image VOR:
    Yup- just throw a going away party.  DO NOT MAKE it about the baby.  If you do that, people will think it's a shower and they will feel they have to bring a gift.

    And if anyone dose happen to bring a gift, DO NOT open it during the party. Thank them nicely, put off to the side somewhere, open it after the party, and send a hand-written thank you card.

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  • Thank you, everyone. I truly appreciate your help!
    Me: 28 DH: 33 TTC since February 2012, married September 2012 DX with Hypothalamic Amenorrhea 2/2013, HSG clear, Bloodwork good, SA great! Started seeing RE February 2013
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  • I would just make it a going away party. You can't really throw a party called a shower without people thinking they should bring a gift, no matter if you're registered or not. Sorry, I know what you're going for, but I think it looks a little gift grabby.
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    There is another kid, she's 10... 
  • image KateMW:
    I would just make it a going away party. You can't really throw a party called a shower without people thinking they should bring a gift, no matter if you're registered or not. Sorry, I know what you're going for, but I think it looks a little gift grabby.

    Thanks Kate! The last thing I want to be considered is gift grabby. H and I were planning on getting mostly everything ourselves and not asking for help. I really just wanted to celebrate all of these new beginnings with our family and friends who won't be seeing us or our baby for a while. I understand what you and the other ladies are saying, though!

    Me: 28 DH: 33 TTC since February 2012, married September 2012 DX with Hypothalamic Amenorrhea 2/2013, HSG clear, Bloodwork good, SA great! Started seeing RE February 2013
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  • If you wanted to do a baby shower with those friends that are far away after you move you could see if someone will arrange an online shower for you. This is where someone at your old address hosts a party and you skype in to participate. Gifts are usually just giftcards that you can use to purchase anything you need for the baby (this way it is easy for the host to get them back to you). But you can do everything else that would happen at a baby shower- games, fellowship, and showing off that belly!  

    But I agree with everyone else about the going away party- keep it simple. Its a time to say goodbye and reminisce. People will ask about baby if they know and you can happily glow! 

  • image mobraniff:
    If you wanted to do a baby shower with those friends that are far away after you move you could see if someone will arrange an online shower for you. This is where someone at your old address hosts a party and you skype in to participate. Gifts are usually just giftcards that you can use to purchase anything you need for the baby this way it is easy for the host to get them back to you. But you can do everything else that would happen at a baby shower games, fellowship, and showing off that belly!nbsp;nbsp;But I agree with everyone else about the going away party keep it simple. Its a time to say goodbye and reminisce. People will ask about baby if they know and you can happily glow!nbsp;


    Do not "see if someone will arrange" an online shower for you! Opinions on the etiquette of Skype showers vary, but I think if one of your friends wants to do that, then great. Asking for it, OTOH...?!
    Lilypie - (BKXw)

  • image Ajboocher:
    I would just make it a going away party. If people want to bring baby gifts they will. If you add baby themed things to the invite or party it could make people feel obligated to being gifts or guilty if they didn't bring a gift.

    Precisely. I'd skip the decorations. In that event, you'd be hosting your own shower which is super tacky. Just have a going away party. The people you'd be inviting to this most likely know you're pregnant (I'd hope) and, if they want to bring a gift, they will. If/when gifts are given, set them to the side and open them privately, then send thank you notes. If someone insists on watching you open their gift, pull  them off to the side privately to do so.

     
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