TTC After a Loss

been here long enough! *vent*

*original pregnancy and m/c mentioned* 

sorry ladies, but I am just feeling so down and out today, really need to vent. I've just had it with this whole process.

 It's like some sort of sick to joke to get pregnant first try, make it one week short of second tri and now have so much difficulty getting pregnant. I definitely recognize ppl have it much worse than me, but I'm having a pity party today! I just tried so hard to relax this month and not get so stressed then only 7 days after freakin O I get bright red flow!! whyyyy?! WTH body?! then it stops and I just have dark brown spotting. What is even happening?! ugh I just can't understand not having a normal cycle almost 6 months later. It's infuriating. I just have no hope of getting pregnant in my mind as long as my cycles stay all wonky- long follicular phase, short luteal phase and then very light AF. ughhhhh. Have decided to call my dr. I guess but I'm doubtful anything will happen. I mentioned low progesterone in the past and he just said "oh everyone has those symptoms". At least now I have charts to show him.

Thanks for letting me vent, I just feel so defeated. I feel like I'm taking it harder lately seeing so many people come and go. I remember reading a study about lower risk of m/c if you get pregnant within 6 months of your m/c and thinking *no problem* wow how naive was I? :( Again, I know ppl have it worse and I'm sorry if I sound like a brat, I'm just at my breaking point today.

((hugs)) to those who need them!


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Re: been here long enough! *vent*

  • image FFwifey:

    *snip*

    Thanks for letting me vent, I just feel so defeated. I feel like I'm taking it harder lately seeing so many people come and go. I remember reading a study about lower risk of m/c if you get pregnant within 6 months of your m/c and thinking *no problem* wow how naive was I? :( Again, I know ppl have it worse and I'm sorry if I sound like a brat, I'm just at my breaking point today.

    ((hugs)) to those who need them!

    I remember reading this study too...and thinking the same thing.  Unless it happens this cycle, it will be no dice for me too and my cycles have been wonkified as well.  I had a 10 day LP last time...which is shorter that normal, but not really short enough for alarm I don't think...but 7 days is short!  You wouldn't even have a chance for implantation - I would definitely show your charts to your doctor.  ugh.  ((hugs)) to you today! It just sucks.

    married my best friend 10/04/08, TTC since July 2012
    BFP#1 Thanksgiving 11/22/12, mo-mo twins(one sac), traditional EDD 7/27/13, EDD due to risk 6/15/13
    mmc Angel 2/7/13 @ 15w3d, mmc Aubrey 2/13/13 @ 16w2d, D&E 2/16/13

    BFP#2 9/21/13, EDD 6/2/14, DD born 5/17/14 

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    All AL always welcome in my threads!

  • thanks for the support Sandy (like that nn? :P) My FX are crossed for you. We've both been here long enough to see so many come and go- I won't mind seeing you go, as much as I'll miss your company!

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  • image FFwifey:
    thanks for the support Sandy (like that nn? :P) My FX are crossed for you. We've both been here long enough to see so many come and go- I won't mind seeing you go, as much as I'll miss your company!

    Same here FF!!  I will miss you, but I want you to leave!  I did like the nickname - reminded me of:

     image

    married my best friend 10/04/08, TTC since July 2012
    BFP#1 Thanksgiving 11/22/12, mo-mo twins(one sac), traditional EDD 7/27/13, EDD due to risk 6/15/13
    mmc Angel 2/7/13 @ 15w3d, mmc Aubrey 2/13/13 @ 16w2d, D&E 2/16/13

    BFP#2 9/21/13, EDD 6/2/14, DD born 5/17/14 

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    All AL always welcome in my threads!

  • Big ::hugs:: I'm sorry hun. I don't really have any advice. FX that your doctor will really listen to you.



    mean_girls_35345Image and video hosting by TinyPic         PAL Sep challenge George Takei image
    Started dating in 5/9/05, Married 6/25/11
    Started TTC Feb 2013, BFP #1 3/4/13 EDD 11/10/13. MMC 4/9/13 D&C 4/22/13.
    BFP #2 7/17/13, EDD 3/29/14 ended in a CP on 7/22/13.
    BFP#3 8/19/13 EDD 5/3/14 Nerdling was born 4/29/14, welcome little one!
     All AL welcome.


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  • I am so sorry. I am in the same boat. We got pregnant first try back in Dec. only had sex once. I told hubby it would take months.
    MC at 11 1/2 weeks in Feb. now going into our third cycle ttc after waiting two after MC.
    I am 39 so we have three more months and if nothing off to the Dr we go.
    I know some woman have it so much worse than me. I do realize that but it is hard since we got pregnant first shot before.
    I am in the 2 ww we will see.
    All I see is pregnant people around or friends having kids. I try not to think about how far along I would be but it is hard since Sept would be my due date.
    Please know you are not alone in this. Feel free to PM me if you ever want to chat or vent.
    T and P to you.
    image



    Me (40) DH (42).......Married 7/1/11......TTC 12/2013.......BFP #1 12/30/12........EDD 9/8/13
    Spotting,clot 2/15/13 all ok......2/21/13 no heartbeat 11 w 4 d missed miscarriage........2/22/13 DnC :(
    BFP # 2 10.10.13...........EDD 6.19.14



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  • Squishy ((hugs)) for you FF. I read that study too... I try not to let it get to me. Anxiety starts to creep in when I think about it.

    Hopefully your doc will have some insight to your LP. Mine has gotten shorter since my loss. It used to be 14 days with early O and now it's 12 with later O. Have you tried acupuncture? They do claim to be able to influence your cycle.

    Me: 33 H: 37 
    2/13: BFP #1 - Loss 3/13
    11/13: 0.8 AMH and MFI - Referred to RE for IVF
    1/14: IVF w/ ICSI #1 9R/7M/7F = BFN
    4/14: IVF w/ ICSI #2 11R/7M/0F = Cancelled
    6/14: IVF w/ ICSI #3 12R/10M/8F = BFN
    7/14: Second Opinion Consults + More Testing = New RE!
    8/14: Estrogen Priming
    9/14: IVF w/ ICSI #4 12R/10M/6F = ?
    imageimageimageimage
    "I am half agony, half hope" - Jane Austen
  • snegdesnegde
    5000 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its Name Dropper
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    Being here even one day is too long. Hope your outlook improves.

    imageimageimage
    TTC since 2.12 
    BFP 11.14.12 (MC 12.2.12) EDD 7.24.13 
    Dx: Unexplained IF 12.13, Endometriosis 1.14
    IUI#1+Clomid 1.3.14 Missed Ectopic identified 1.28.14 (EDD 9.26.14) Lap. Surgery
    IUI#2.0+Letrozole Cancelled 1.28.14. IUI#2.1+Letrozole Cancelled 4.22.14
    IVF 6 eggs Retrieved 5 Fertilized 7.22.14 1 Blastocyst Transfer 7.27.14 
    BFP 8.5.14 Due 4.15 Feeling hopeful.
      All Welcome

  • Sorry you're having a rough day. In feeling kind of defeated today as well. I just realized that ours been 8 months since our last loss. I hope you feel a little better later. Hugs

    4 Losses (2003, 2008, Apr 2012, & Oct 2012)
    All RPL testing with 3 REs = normal, no know causes of RPL

    CD3 b/w, HSG, SHG: all clear, all good

    As an added bonus, battling IF since last loss

    March IUI = BFN, May IUI = BFN, August IUI = ??? 

    All AL are welcome
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  • Thanks everyone, it really helps to hear from you *not that I want you to be having similar experiences*! And yes snedge, you're definitely right. It sucks for everyone... today is just my day to whine I guess. I called and got an appt with my dr. so feeling a bit better.

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  • image rachaelhudson:
    Sorry you're having a rough day. In feeling kind of defeated today as well. I just realized that ours been 8 months since our last loss. I hope you feel a little better later. Hugs

    ((hugs)) back to you rachael


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  • image SandSunBliss:

    image FFwifey:
    thanks for the support Sandy (like that nn? :P) My FX are crossed for you. We've both been here long enough to see so many come and go- I won't mind seeing you go, as much as I'll miss your company!

    Same here FF!!  I will miss you, but I want you to leave!  I did like the nickname - reminded me of:

     image

    hahaha Yes I really need to start using GIFs. they're fun


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  • snegdesnegde
    5000 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its Name Dropper
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    image FFwifey:
    Thanks everyone, it really helps to hear from you not that I want you to be having similar experiences! And yes snedge, you're definitely right. It sucks for everyone... today is just my day to whine I guess. I called and got an appt with my dr. so feeling a bit better.
    Glad your doctor can see you. Hope he can give you some answers!!!!!

    imageimageimage
    TTC since 2.12 
    BFP 11.14.12 (MC 12.2.12) EDD 7.24.13 
    Dx: Unexplained IF 12.13, Endometriosis 1.14
    IUI#1+Clomid 1.3.14 Missed Ectopic identified 1.28.14 (EDD 9.26.14) Lap. Surgery
    IUI#2.0+Letrozole Cancelled 1.28.14. IUI#2.1+Letrozole Cancelled 4.22.14
    IVF 6 eggs Retrieved 5 Fertilized 7.22.14 1 Blastocyst Transfer 7.27.14 
    BFP 8.5.14 Due 4.15 Feeling hopeful.
      All Welcome

  • I know what you mean. Seems like things should be easier after loss but it often is the opposite. (Hugs)
                               
                  
                 BFP#1  9/5/12, MMC, MC confirmed 10/9/12,          
                D&C 12/12/12
    BFP#2 7/30/13, EDD 4/12/14, DS born 4/14/14
                                                                             
                                                                            
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  • image scooteriste:

    Squishy ((hugs)) for you FF. I read that study too... I try not to let it get to me. Anxiety starts to creep in when I think about it.

    Hopefully your doc will have some insight to your LP. Mine has gotten shorter since my loss. It used to be 14 days with early O and now it's 12 with later O. Have you tried acupuncture? They do claim to be able to influence your cycle.

    I haven't tried acupuncture. Have you? I have such a needle fear... but soon I will try anything. I know I've seen a thread about ppl's experiences on here before and it seemed like a mix of positive experiences and it not having much effect, but no harm done. I've also thought of seeing a naturopath to discuss trying the natural progesterone cream. Thanks for the suggestion!

    ETA: grammar


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  • I'm sure everyone feels like they've been here long enough.
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  • mlal78mlal78
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    image uneek1323:
    I'm sure everyone feels like they've been here long enough.

    Yes 

    _____________________________
    TTC #3 since Aug 2009
    2 ds 2004 and 2009
    six angels lost to natural m/c or c/p
    one ectopic pg resulting in loss of right tube (suspected heterotopic pg)
    BFP#10: 5/18/14 low betas, and a neg digi after +. Loss confirmed with negative betas 5/26/14

    clotting panel results normal, genetic testing results normal
    CD2 BW results FSH 5 LH 7 dx: PCOS Dec 2013

            
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  • Sending you (((big))) hugs FF!  This journey is frustrating, difficult and emotional. There is nothing easy about it. I'm so sorry a new cycle started for you so quickly. I sympathize with your pain.

    * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    TTC #1 since June 2012
    Current Status:  IUI #1  Femara + Trigger
    Genetic, RPL, SA and Fertility testing = Normal/Good
        HSG = All Clear
    BFP #1 12.30.2012  ||  Blighted Ovum 02.05.2013  ||  D&C 02.11.2013
    BFP #2 09.10.2013  ||  c/p 09.12.2013

    BFP #3 12.1.2013  ||  mm/c  01.15.14  ||  D&C 01.21.14  chromosome abnormality
    May 2014:  Residual HCG and retained tissue found
    05.13.2014:  Hysteroscopy D&C to find and remove retained tissue
    June 2014:  Tissue sample results indicate a partial molar pregnancy
    May - Aug 2014:   TTA for monitoring and testing
    08.21.2014:  Hysteroscopy to remove minor scar tissue - the result of 3 D&Cs

    My Ovulation Chart  || *~*~All AL Welcome~*~* ||  DIY Blog

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  • image FFwifey:
    image scooteriste:

    Squishy ((hugs)) for you FF. I read that study too... I try not to let it get to me. Anxiety starts to creep in when I think about it.

    Hopefully your doc will have some insight to your LP. Mine has gotten shorter since my loss. It used to be 14 days with early O and now it's 12 with later O. Have you tried acupuncture? They do claim to be able to influence your cycle.

    I haven't tried acupuncture. Have you? I have such a needle fear... but soon I will try anything. I know I've seen a thread about ppl's experiences on here before and it seemed like a mix of positive experiences and it not having much effect, but no harm done. I've also thought of seeing a naturopath to discuss trying the natural progesterone cream. Thanks for the suggestion!

    ETA: grammar

    I go to acupuncture weekly and have gone on and off since January. The month I started was my bfp cycle. I like it because it makes me feel like I'm doing something and the acupuncturist asks about my cycle and may pick up on things that I don't. I find it worthwhile, but you need to find someone you like and trust.

    Me: 33 H: 37 
    2/13: BFP #1 - Loss 3/13
    11/13: 0.8 AMH and MFI - Referred to RE for IVF
    1/14: IVF w/ ICSI #1 9R/7M/7F = BFN
    4/14: IVF w/ ICSI #2 11R/7M/0F = Cancelled
    6/14: IVF w/ ICSI #3 12R/10M/8F = BFN
    7/14: Second Opinion Consults + More Testing = New RE!
    8/14: Estrogen Priming
    9/14: IVF w/ ICSI #4 12R/10M/6F = ?
    imageimageimageimage
    "I am half agony, half hope" - Jane Austen
  • image uneek1323:
    I'm sure everyone feels like they've been here long enough.

    Exactly. It's nice that we can empathize with each other.

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  • image MyFirstRaspberry:
    Sending you big hugs FF!nbsp; This journey is frustrating, difficult and emotional. There is nothing easy about it. I'm so sorry a new cycle started for you so quickly. I sympathize with your pain.

    Thanks Raz for everything! Yes you can definitely sympathize, apparently our bodies are taking this CB thing literally!! Grrrr... Maybe that means they'll smarten up at the same time too... Sometime soon please!!

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  • image mlal78:

    image uneek1323:
    I'm sure everyone feels like they've been here long enough.

    Yes 

    YesYes

    Personally, I would not worry about what that study says. There is so much that goes into why a woman has had a loss that I don't think a blanket statement can be made about "6 months" post-loss being the optimum time to get pregnant again by.  For the record, I had two losses within 6 months of my first loss.

    Also, unless you absolutely love your doctor, get a different one. He is writing your concerns off. Telling you that every woman has those symptoms makes it sound like he is not treating you as an individual and is not listening to what you have to say. 

     

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    BFP#2 12/21/2012 EDD 08/27/2013, CP@4w6d
    BFP#3 01/21/2013 EDD 10/02/2013, M/C 02/26/2013

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  • I'm sorry and I get it. It totally blows. Just know you aren't alone. 

    "It's, not, where you are, it's where you're going,
    And it's, not, about the things you've done, it's what you're doing, now"

    TTC Journey Began 8/12
    BFP #1 11/9/12, MMC/D&C 12/21/12 @ 9w2d, EDD 7/24/13
    SAs: 2%-3% Morph - RE Official Diagnosis
    Unexplained
     BFN = IUI #1 (Clomid) | IUI #2 (Letrozole) 
    BFP #2 4/19/14 = IUI #3 (Letrozole)
    Expecting Our Elf 12/27/14
    ~All Welcome~

  • *Siggy*

    Lots of hugs!

    With all the research out there its easy to run ourselves into depression.

    There are miracles, PGAL is full of them! You have us all cheering for you, and waiting for this rainbow of yours to come!

     

     

     

     

    *Siggy* 

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    TTC Since September 2011
    BFP#1:Dec.1.11 EDD:Aug.09.12 MC:Jan.11.12 (9WK5D)-Natural
    BFP#2:Apr.18.12 EDD:Dec.21.12 MC:May.1.12 (6WK3D)-D&C
    BFP#3:Sep.12.12 - Suspected CP | BFP#4:Dec.1.12 - Suspected CP
    BFP#5: Dec.26.12 EDD:Sep.10.13 MC:Jan.7.13 (4WK6D)-Natural
    BFP#6: Jun.11.13 EDD:Feb.23.13 Beta: #1=8000 #2=24532 US@6wk2d showed 7wk2d size with 143BPM HR * NT US@12wk6d looked good. A/S passed with flying colors and our team color is Blue! *Grow my little Pamplemousse*!!!
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  • image funny bunny:

    *Siggy*

    Lots of hugs!

    With all the research out there its easy to run ourselves into depression.

    There are miracles, PGAL is full of them! You have us all cheering for you, and waiting for this rainbow of yours to come!

    *Siggy* 

    This made me smile. Thank you!


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  • image jenkellen:
    I'm sorry and I get it. It totally blows. Just know you aren't alone. 

    no, you ladies have definitely shown me that much. I guess that's why we're all here bc going it alone would be impossible. Thank you all so much for your kind thoughts and words, it really means a lot on those days like today. I don't start many threads, but seeing how much support I get when I do just means so much!


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  • image uneek1323:
    I'm sure everyone feels like they've been here long enough.

     Yup. 

    BFP#1 8/3/12~EDD 4/1/13~Natural M/C 9/1/12-9w6d 
    BFP#2 5/30/13~EDD 2/3/14~Confirmed CP 5/31/13
    7/12/13 Hysteroscopy & Lap Lysis of Adhesions
    1st Cycle on Clomid Aug '13: BFP#3 8/24/13~EDD 5/3/14
    Hoping Third Time's a Charm!!- IT'S A GIRL!!!! 
    KAYLIE MARIE IS HERE! BORN 5/4/14

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  • Ffwifey, I'm so sorry. I really am. And I'm right there with you. We too got preganant our first cycle w/ clomid, only to mc at 9.5 weeks. On New Years Day. What a way to start the year huh? So here we are today, 6 full months post mc, starting the TWW of our 4th ttc cycle. It's frustrating, upsetting, tedious, and every other emotion imaginable.

    So know you aren't alone, and I hope you get to leave this board soon, for the best reasons. And feel free to PM me if u ever need to commiserate. I have a pity party about 1 or 2 times a month.
    TTCAL & PGAL Welcome
    PCOS & TTC #1 since January 2012
    BFP 11.16.2012 * Natural MC at 9.5 wks 01.1.2013
    TTC again in March 2013
    Round 3 of 100mg Clomid + 1500mg Metformin BFP #2 06.14.13
    EDD: March 28, 2014  It's a GIRL!
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  • RN536RN536
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    Hugs. So sorry and it's ok to vent and have as many pity parties as you need.
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  • I'm so sorry! I would definitely talk to the doctor again with your charts. Hopefully you will get something out of him this time! I told my therapist "there are so many people who have it worse than I do" and he told me not to make my problem so small. Just take it one day at a time! If you need to vent more, PM me! ((hugs))
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