TTC After a Loss

Baby was Due July 4th

Just wanted to post something weighing on my heart.

Our second baby was due to be born on July 4, 2011. For most of today I didn't really think about it. But tonight watching the fireworks I did. Each year since I always think of her watching the same fireworks as me from Heaven's view. Although we had a second son, Nolan in March 2012, I will always have that missing piece. Every year for those few beautiful quiet minutes of awe, I feel like it is just her and I watching those fireworks. It brings me to tears yet I am so thankful for this connection to her since it is all I have.

It is a journey ladies. And it changes who you are forever. My thoughts and prayers are with you all for happy healthy future pregnancies :) Just know you'll always remember, and that is okay. 

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BFP 10-31-10 EDD 7-4-11 missed MC 12-24-10 emergency D&C 12-26-10

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers



BFP 8-15-06 EDD 4-20-07 DS born C-Sect 4-18-07

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Re: Baby was Due July 4th

  • So touching! Thank you for sharing

    Brought tears to my eyes  

    Trying for our first since April 2011
    BFP 10/4/2012. Due 6/11/13. M/C 11/3/12
    Diagnosed Hypothyroidism 9/4/13
    BFP #2 11/11/13 Due 7/24/14
    image
     
    Today, I am pregnant.  Today, I am happy.
    Everyone welcome
  • ((hugs))

    My first loss was also a July '11 EDD (7/15/11).  It's amazing how much life has changed since the first loss, but there are some dates you don't forget.

    BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11

    BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14

     

    Lilypie - (2llN)

    Lilypie - (2L9u)

     

      My Recipe Blog
    ~All AL'ers welcome~

  • ::hugs:: thank you, that helps so much.



    mean_girls_35345Image and video hosting by TinyPic         PAL Sep challenge George Takei image
    Started dating in 5/9/05, Married 6/25/11
    Started TTC Feb 2013, BFP #1 3/4/13 EDD 11/10/13. MMC 4/9/13 D&C 4/22/13.
    BFP #2 7/17/13, EDD 3/29/14 ended in a CP on 7/22/13.
    BFP#3 8/19/13 EDD 5/3/14 Nerdling was born 4/29/14, welcome little one!
     All AL welcome.


    image   Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers
  • ((hugs)) Thank you for sharing. 
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickersLilypie Third Birthday tickers
                                ~Missed MC at 8 weeks. D&C at 12 weeks on 4/17/13~ 
                               image                     
       Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Big hugs! That story was so touching thank you for sharing. It brought tears to my eyes! More hugs!
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • Thanks for sharing, this made me tear up! I do feel we are forever changed and I am sad to lose that innocence we once had... But it is nice to find those small moments to connect.
    Lilypie Maternity tickers

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers


  • Since you get to post what's weighing on your heart I'll post what's weighing on mine. This doesn't help. I am glad you remember your rainbow every 4th as you hold your son but I don't need to hear it. You don't know if everyone on this board will get to have a take home baby, I know you thought you were being helpful but I think when blanket statements like this are given it just is hard to hear.

    imageimageimage
    TTC since 2.12 
    BFP 11.14.12 (MC 12.2.12) EDD 7.24.13 
    Dx: Unexplained IF 12.13, Endometriosis 1.14
    IUI#1+Clomid 1.3.14 Missed Ectopic identified 1.28.14 (EDD 9.26.14) Lap. Surgery
    IUI#2.0+Letrozole Cancelled 1.28.14. IUI#2.1+Letrozole Cancelled 4.22.14
    IVF 6 eggs Retrieved 5 Fertilized 7.22.14 1 Blastocyst Transfer 7.27.14 
    BFP 8.5.14 Due 4.15 Feeling hopeful.
      All Welcome

  • image snegde:
    Since you get to post what's weighing on your heart I'll post what's weighing on mine. This doesn't help. I am glad you remember your rainbow every 4th as you hold your son but I don't need to hear it. You don't know if everyone on this board will get to have a take home baby, I know you thought you were being helpful but I think when blanket statements like this are given it just is hard to hear.

    this.  I see it seems to have helped several others to read your story, but it doesn't really make me feel any better right now.

    married my best friend 10/04/08, TTC since July 2012
    BFP#1 Thanksgiving 11/22/12, mo-mo twins(one sac), traditional EDD 7/27/13, EDD due to risk 6/15/13
    mmc Angel 2/7/13 @ 15w3d, mmc Aubrey 2/13/13 @ 16w2d, D&E 2/16/13

    BFP#2 9/21/13, EDD 6/2/14, DD born 5/17/14 

    image image image

    All AL always welcome in my threads!

  • image SandSunBliss:

    image snegde:
    Since you get to post what's weighing on your heart I'll post what's weighing on mine. This doesn't help. I am glad you remember your rainbow every 4th as you hold your son but I don't need to hear it. You don't know if everyone on this board will get to have a take home baby, I know you thought you were being helpful but I think when blanket statements like this are given it just is hard to hear.

    this.  I see it seems to have helped several others to read your story, but it doesn't really make me feel any better right now.

    Yup I'm with both of you.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    BFP #1   8.29.12   EDD 5.8.13   MC 10.9.12   GusGus
    BFP #2   7.12.13   EDD 3.24.14   MC 7.26.13   Muggle
    RE Consult 8.22.13 for RPL testing
    Diagnosed with Factor V Leiden and MTHFR 
    IUI #1 10.11.13 w/gonal-f and ovidrel   BFP #3 & CP 10.25.13   Dot
    IUI #2 12.9.13 w/gonal-f and ovidrel   BFP #4 12.18.13   EDD 9.1.14
    Our rainbow, Eleanor Margaret born 8.27.14
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    imageimageimage  imageimage
    formerly lindsayhilleary
  • This was very hurtful. I'm sorry for your loss but you have 2 sons on Earth and to hear how that helps you is rubbing in our faces for those of us who don't have children here. And then you took this sh!t to +6? You suck.
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  • image uneek1323:
    This was very hurtful. I'm sorry for your loss but you have 2 sons on Earth and to hear how that helps you is rubbing in our faces for those of us who don't have children here. And then you took this sh!t to +6? You suck.

    Yeah I don't understand why you felt the need to post it there, especially. 

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    BFP #1   8.29.12   EDD 5.8.13   MC 10.9.12   GusGus
    BFP #2   7.12.13   EDD 3.24.14   MC 7.26.13   Muggle
    RE Consult 8.22.13 for RPL testing
    Diagnosed with Factor V Leiden and MTHFR 
    IUI #1 10.11.13 w/gonal-f and ovidrel   BFP #3 & CP 10.25.13   Dot
    IUI #2 12.9.13 w/gonal-f and ovidrel   BFP #4 12.18.13   EDD 9.1.14
    Our rainbow, Eleanor Margaret born 8.27.14
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    imageimageimage  imageimage
    formerly lindsayhilleary
  • EKGibsEKGibs
    Ancient Membership 5000 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its
    member

    image uneek1323:
    This was very hurtful. I'm sorry for your loss but you have 2 sons on Earth and to hear how that helps you is rubbing in our faces for those of us who don't have children here. And then you took this sh!t to +6? You suck.

    This.

    TTC since 4/28/07
    Diagnosed w/ endometriosis 12/2010 Laproscopic surgery & 6 months of Lupron
    BFP 12/17/2011,EDD 8/23/12,ectopic discovered 12/29/11 at 6 weeks recieved methotrexate
    Dec '12 HSG & ultrasound showed abnormalities & more endo. Laproscopic surgery in January '13 showed significant damage & scar tissue from Endo. IVF is our best shot to concieve our rainbow.

    June '13 Decided to go the adoption route!

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Lilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers


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    ***PGAL/PAL WELCOME***

     

     






        

  • image snegde:
    Since you get to post what's weighing on your heart I'll post what's weighing on mine. This doesn't help. I am glad you remember your rainbow every 4th as you hold your son but I don't need to hear it. You don't know if everyone on this board will get to have a take home baby, I know you thought you were being helpful but I think when blanket statements like this are given it just is hard to hear.

    Agreed.

    OP, I'm glad your story helped some of the ladies here but personally, I have enough friends IRL who have children and say things like this to me. I don't need anyone's pity or their version of "hope".

    Me: 33 H: 37 
    2/13: BFP #1 - Loss 3/13
    11/13: 0.8 AMH and MFI - Referred to RE for IVF
    1/14: IVF w/ ICSI #1 9R/7M/7F = BFN
    4/14: IVF w/ ICSI #2 11R/7M/0F = Cancelled
    6/14: IVF w/ ICSI #3 12R/10M/8F = BFN
    7/14: Second Opinion Consults + More Testing = New RE!
    8/14: Estrogen Priming
    9/14: IVF w/ ICSI #4 12R/10M/6F = BFN :(
    imageimageimageimage
  • image EKGibs:

    image uneek1323:
    This was very hurtful. I'm sorry for your loss but you have 2 sons on Earth and to hear how that helps you is rubbing in our faces for those of us who don't have children here. And then you took this sh!t to +6? You suck.

    This.


    Oh wow, that was not cool if you are not on the 6 board.

    Eta: I would just feel dirty even lurking on the 6 board. I'm not sure if that was ballsy or foolish...both.



    mean_girls_35345Image and video hosting by TinyPic         PAL Sep challenge George Takei image
    Started dating in 5/9/05, Married 6/25/11
    Started TTC Feb 2013, BFP #1 3/4/13 EDD 11/10/13. MMC 4/9/13 D&C 4/22/13.
    BFP #2 7/17/13, EDD 3/29/14 ended in a CP on 7/22/13.
    BFP#3 8/19/13 EDD 5/3/14 Nerdling was born 4/29/14, welcome little one!
     All AL welcome.


    image   Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers
  • image snegde:
    Since you get to post what's weighing on your heart I'll post what's weighing on mine. This doesn't help. I am glad you remember your rainbow every 4th as you hold your son but I don't need to hear it. You don't know if everyone on this board will get to have a take home baby, I know you thought you were being helpful but I think when blanket statements like this are given it just is hard to hear.

    Uh, yeah, I am with snedge here.  I don't need to see a patronizing post (that includes your rainbow baby) to tell me that I will not forget my lost LO.  I already think of that baby all day every day. 

    I am sorry for your loss, and that yesterday was difficult as an EDD, but please keep this stuff to Parenting After a Loss.  Hopefully I'll see you there someday.

    TTC since October 2012

    BFP#1 1/11/13, EDD 9/19/13, M/C at 9wk6dy 

    BFP#2 11/12/13, DS born 7/28/14!

    imageImage and video hosting by TinyPicimage

    image  Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Chart

    Everyone is welcome


  • image SandSunBliss:

    image snegde:
    Since you get to post what's weighing on your heart I'll post what's weighing on mine. This doesn't help. I am glad you remember your rainbow every 4th as you hold your son but I don't need to hear it. You don't know if everyone on this board will get to have a take home baby, I know you thought you were being helpful but I think when blanket statements like this are given it just is hard to hear.

    this.  I see it seems to have helped several others to read your story, but it doesn't really make me feel any better right now.

    Thank you snedge!

    OP, your post history shows that you know about PAL because you post there. That is where you should have posted this. Why on earth did you come to TTCAL? You are not TTC. That is great you thought about your little one but did you really have to come tell us that you remember your lost one while you hold your rainbow?

    Many of us do not have a child to hold when we think about our lost little ones. 

    If you are TTC for a second rainbow, may I suggest you read the blog and intro? 

    Also - how incredibly insensitive that you posted this on 6+! 

    TTCAL October Siggy Challenge: Unfortunate Sticker Placement
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    Zachary Donald born 9/22/2012 at 20 weeks. You will forever be in our heart.
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    A miracle is what seems impossible but happens anyways
    BFP#1 06/08/2012 EDD 02/07/2013, born 09/22/2012 PTL due to placental abruption
    BFP#2 12/21/2012 EDD 08/27/2013, CP@4w6d
    BFP#3 01/21/2013 EDD 10/02/2013, M/C 02/26/2013

    my chart
    ***PgAL/PAL Always Welcome***


  • sig

     

     

     

    image Serenla:
    image EKGibs:

    image uneek1323:
    This was very hurtful. I'm sorry for your loss but you have 2 sons on Earth and to hear how that helps you is rubbing in our faces for those of us who don't have children here. And then you took this sh!t to +6? You suck.

    This.

    Oh wow, that was not cool if you are not on the 6 board. Eta: I would just feel dirty even lurking on the 6 board. I'm not sure if that was ballsy or foolish...both.

    Damned stupid and inconsiderate is what it is. I was part of the 6+ board and still would never post tripe like this there.

     I'm so sorry, ladies! HUGS to everyone!

    Edit: Added words. 

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     



    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers 

    BFP #1 12/7/2011 EDD 8/21/2012 Delivered at 15 weeks
    "I'll love you forever. I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be." 
    BFP#2 10/19/2012 EDD 6/30/2013 Delivered safely two days early

    Everyone is welcome in my posts.

  • I know I'm not going to be very popular for saying this but I can't help it. OP posted a beautiful story emphasizing her memories of her angel and just because she mentions other children she is getting chewed out! Bottom line is this is a ttcal bored and there are a lot of hurting people here, including myself. We can't always expect other posts to encourage us and I don't think it's necessary to make OP's feel bad for sharing! The reactions I'm seeing make me scared to make posts for fear of offending someone inadvertently! My rant is now over and I hope I didn't make any enemies :(

  • image SoonaBailey:
    I know I'm not going to be very popular for saying this but I can't help it. OP posted a beautiful story emphasizing her memories of her angel and just because she mentions other children she is getting chewed out! Bottom line is this is a ttcal bored and there are a lot of hurting people here, including myself. We can't always expect other posts to encourage us and I don't think it's necessary to make OP's feel bad for sharing! The reactions I'm seeing make me scared to make posts for fear of offending someone inadvertently! My rant is now over and I hope I didn't make any enemies :(

    You are not going to make enemies. 

    What I would recommend though is to look at the signatures of those who are offended.  All of them are (or where) active members of this board for over 6 months. 

    OPs post is inappropriate. PAL and March 2012 are her home boards. Coming on to this board to post "encouragement" is not appropriate. 

    Protecting everyone on this board from pain includes being respectful to those who are hurt by these type of posts. I hope you are not here long enough to understand this. 

     

    TTCAL October Siggy Challenge: Unfortunate Sticker Placement
    "Butt Closure" for when anal is not okay
    image

    Zachary Donald born 9/22/2012 at 20 weeks. You will forever be in our heart.
    imageimageimageimage
    A miracle is what seems impossible but happens anyways
    BFP#1 06/08/2012 EDD 02/07/2013, born 09/22/2012 PTL due to placental abruption
    BFP#2 12/21/2012 EDD 08/27/2013, CP@4w6d
    BFP#3 01/21/2013 EDD 10/02/2013, M/C 02/26/2013

    my chart
    ***PgAL/PAL Always Welcome***


  • EKGibsEKGibs
    Ancient Membership 5000 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its
    member
    image buggirl72:

    image SoonaBailey:
    I know I'm not going to be very popular for saying this but I can't help it. OP posted a beautiful story emphasizing her memories of her angel and just because she mentions other children she is getting chewed out! Bottom line is this is a ttcal bored and there are a lot of hurting people here, including myself. We can't always expect other posts to encourage us and I don't think it's necessary to make OP's feel bad for sharing! The reactions I'm seeing make me scared to make posts for fear of offending someone inadvertently! My rant is now over and I hope I didn't make any enemies :(

    You are not going to make enemies. 

    What I would recommend though is to look at the signatures of those who are offended.  All of them are (or where) active members of this board for over 6 months. 

    OPs post is inappropriate. PAL and March 2012 are her home boards. Coming on to this board to post "encouragement" is not appropriate. 

    Protecting everyone on this board from pain includes being respectful to those who are hurt by these type of posts. I hope you are not here long enough to understand this. 

     

    This.

    TTC since 4/28/07
    Diagnosed w/ endometriosis 12/2010 Laproscopic surgery & 6 months of Lupron
    BFP 12/17/2011,EDD 8/23/12,ectopic discovered 12/29/11 at 6 weeks recieved methotrexate
    Dec '12 HSG & ultrasound showed abnormalities & more endo. Laproscopic surgery in January '13 showed significant damage & scar tissue from Endo. IVF is our best shot to concieve our rainbow.

    June '13 Decided to go the adoption route!

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Lilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers


    imageimageFollow Me on Pinterestimageimageimage



    ***PGAL/PAL WELCOME***

     

     






        

  • mlal78mlal78
    5000 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its Second Anniversary
    member

    image SoonaBailey:
    I know I'm not going to be very popular for saying this but I can't help it. OP posted a beautiful story emphasizing her memories of her angel and just because she mentions other children she is getting chewed out! Bottom line is this is a ttcal bored and there are a lot of hurting people here, including myself. We can't always expect other posts to encourage us and I don't think it's necessary to make OP's feel bad for sharing! The reactions I'm seeing make me scared to make posts for fear of offending someone inadvertently! My rant is now over and I hope I didn't make any enemies :(

    The post was fine until she

    1. Mentioned her child.  It just really is not done here.  

    2. Told us that loss changes us and we will always remember.  We know that, we don't have to be told it by someone who does not even post on this board.  It is condescending.

    _____________________________
    TTC #3 since Aug 2009
    2 ds 2004 and 2009
    8 angels, including one heteroectopic pregnancy
    lost right tube

    clotting/RPL panel results normal, genetic testing results normal
    CD2 BW results FSH 5 LH 7 dx: PCOS Dec 2013

    1500mg metformin started Dec 2013        
    TTCAL siggy challenge: Unfortunate Sticker Placement
    image


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    ~*~All are welcome~*~

  • I understand. I assumed OP was TTC ... I just wish no one had to be hurt by this, including op :( I know I haven't been here long but I was ttc for around 18 months with my angel so I can relate at least a little... and I was trying to be respectful of everyone!!! I apologize if I failed. 

  • Wait a minute guys. Some new girl who's been here for 5 minutes wants to tell us how we're wrong. We should listen.

    image 

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  • image SoonaBailey:
    I understand. I assumed OP was TTC ... I just wish no one had to be hurt by this, including op :( I know I haven't been here long but I was ttc for around 18 months with my angel so I can relate at least a little... and I was trying to be respectful of everyone!!! I apologize if I failed. 

    The OP hasn't come back to respond to any of this. It was a drive by. Not surprising if you look at her post history. The first page takes you back over a year.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    BFP #1   8.29.12   EDD 5.8.13   MC 10.9.12   GusGus
    BFP #2   7.12.13   EDD 3.24.14   MC 7.26.13   Muggle
    RE Consult 8.22.13 for RPL testing
    Diagnosed with Factor V Leiden and MTHFR 
    IUI #1 10.11.13 w/gonal-f and ovidrel   BFP #3 & CP 10.25.13   Dot
    IUI #2 12.9.13 w/gonal-f and ovidrel   BFP #4 12.18.13   EDD 9.1.14
    Our rainbow, Eleanor Margaret born 8.27.14
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    imageimageimage  imageimage
    formerly lindsayhilleary
  • Thank you for sharing! This was so touching! We are all mommies, wether our babies are here with us or in Heaven :)
  • image snegde:
    Since you get to post what's weighing on your heart I'll post what's weighing on mine. This doesn't help. I am glad you remember your rainbow every 4th as you hold your son but I don't need to hear it. You don't know if everyone on this board will get to have a take home baby, I know you thought you were being helpful but I think when blanket statements like this are given it just is hard to hear.

    I agree with snegde.

                               
                  
                 BFP#1  9/5/12, MMC, MC confirmed 10/9/12,          
                D&C 12/12/12
    BFP#2 7/30/13, EDD 4/12/14, DS born 4/14/14
                                                                             
                                                                            
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  • jap618jap618
    2500 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its Third Anniversary
    member
    image samjen2010:

    image snegde:
    Since you get to post what's weighing on your heart I'll post what's weighing on mine. This doesn't help. I am glad you remember your rainbow every 4th as you hold your son but I don't need to hear it. You don't know if everyone on this board will get to have a take home baby, I know you thought you were being helpful but I think when blanket statements like this are given it just is hard to hear.

    I agree with snegde.

    Yes This.  I read this and was not by any means *encouraged*.  We just passed our 1 yr TTC mark & are a week away from our 2nd EDD.  Definitely not what I needed.  HUGS to everyone & thanks to the girls who are so wonderfully protective.   

    Married the love of my life <3 June 18, 2011 <3 Me (28) DH (29)
    TTC #1 since June 2012
    BFP #1 6.29.12 EDD 3.12.13 MMC discovered 8.11.12 9w5d D&C 8.15.12
    BFP #2 11.2.12 EDD 7.14.13 MMC 6w5d discovered 8w6d 2 failed rounds miso D&C 12.27.12
    BFP #3 8.5.13 EDD 4.18.14 MMC 7w4d discovered 9.25.13 at 10w6d -Trisomy 13- 1 round miso & emergency D&C 10.2.13
    RPL Testing. DX Asherman's November 2013. Low AMH (0.44) January 2014. 
    Operative Hysteroscopy January 2014 to remove scar tissue.
    BFP#4 6.18.14 EDD 3.3.15 Team Pink <3
    --AL always welcome--
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