1st Trimester

DH to Dr. Appts?

I have my first appointment on 7/26/13. They said they didn't need to see me until 8 weeks. Even though I told them I miscarried at 7 weeks many years ago. Anyways, they scheduled me to see the PA for a work up and then on the following Monday for the ultrasound. I have an incredibly flexible work schedule so the time off is not a problem. My DH however, does not. I was wondering if I should have him request the time off for both days off or if it was something I could do myself. Obviously, I'd feel better with him there but I'm not sure if he needs to come?

 Will your DH join you for all your appointments?

Married 4/24/2009 TTC 1/01/2013 BFP 7/1/2013
"Courage is not absence from fear but rather and understanding; that what you desire is greater than what you fear"

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Re: DH to Dr. Appts?

  • My husband has only missed two of my appointments and we're 37 weeks! But he likes going and it's easy for him to leave work for them. I would say the first appointment and the 20 week ultrasound appointment are the MOST important. The others are just quick routine visits. If he goes to any I would say the 1st and the anatomy scan, ;)
  • DH only came to the first 2 or 3 appointments.  He doesn't have the ability to take time off to go to my appointments.  I would agree the big ones are the 1st appointment for family history and the anatomy scan (although DH missed mine).
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  • H was able to go to all of the appointments with DS and DD, but his schedule was much more flexible than.  He is going to come to the first one if he can get off of work this time but I was able to schedule our first Ultrasound for Saturday so he will at least be at that and the Anatomy scan will be scheduled on an off day for him.  If he can make it to any of the other ones I will eb happy, but the routine visits are so quick I fell bad asking him to take time off work to go, he will if I want him to, but his work is not very flexible about time away.

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  • He did last time. This time he'll make as many as possible. His job doesn't always allow that flexibility.

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  • DH attends all the ultrasounds but nothing else.  IMO the u/s appointments are the most important because that's when you actually see LO and can discuss fetal issues.  He has the flexibility to attend all my appointments, but I feel it's unnecessary.
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  • DH went to our first appt for the u/s.  I have another appt on the 11th for the pelvic exam and b/w, but no u/s.  I am not asking him to go because I don't think he really cares to watch my doc rooting around down there :-P  It's up to you...but, IMO, he should def be there for the u/s.  I loved the look on DH's face when he saw baby :-)
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  • My DH is planning on it but is able to create his own schedule. I would think the ultrasound appointments are the more important unless you are high risk. Congrats and good luck! 

  • Thank you everyone! For some reason my first appointment is on a Friday and the ultrasound is on the next Monday. I think I will have him go to both of the first ones. It makes sense after that to just have him come to the ultrasound ones.

    Great advice everyone. Much appreciated!

    Married 4/24/2009 TTC 1/01/2013 BFP 7/1/2013
    "Courage is not absence from fear but rather and understanding; that what you desire is greater than what you fear"

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  • My husband has been and will continue to attend all of my appointments that he's able to. We are both very cautious with this pregnancy (recent m/c) and he wants to be there as much as I want/need him there. We both have a lot of flexibility with our jobs. So as long as he's in town, he can go.

     

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  • cnctfcnctf
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    My 1st appt with kaiser was just pee in a cup and blood work kind of stuff. I had an early U/S and s/o didnt come to that one. He did come to the NT scan and will be there for the Anatomy one also. All the other in between visits, I go by myself.  
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  • Call them and ask what the first appointment entails specifically. If you get a viability ultrasound then I think it's worth it for H to be present. That is most likely the reason they want you to come in at 8 weeks. There is more to see on the TV ultrasound.
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  • With this being our first, I feel more comfortable that he comes with me to the first appointment and to any ultrasounds.
  • Luckily mine can come to my first one. I'd also like him at the ultrasound and gender ones. All the others I'd rather he was there, but if he has to take time off to, then I'd rather he didn't. I would much, much, much rather he take that time off after the baby is born than before, so got to save up those days! :) Though also, what does your husband want to do- take time off or not?
  • My DH is only coming to the anatomy scan. It's just how we are. There is nothing wrong with your husband going to every appt if you want him to.
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  • That's completely up to you two. My hubs made it so he'll be at all appointments no matter how short or bring they were/are.
    My first included an u/s due to some bleeding I had so he really wanted to be there for that and then just involved himself for them all.
    I'd say see if you can find out what that first appt holds for you and then see what to do about dh. I've seen some ladies just give samples for blood and urine and fill out paperwork that first appointment.

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  • I'm hoping DH can come to most if not all appointments. I about bit his head off because he asked "do I really need to go to the 1st one?" This is our first pregnancy so I want him as involved as possible! Lol
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  • It's completely understandable if he cannot work it in his schedule, but I will say that my husband makes sure to come to all of the appointments now and we just try to schedule them as late in the day as possible.  Not to worry you but I also miscarried prior to this pregnancy but the only way we knew this was at a routine check up when they went to listen to the heartbeat (we had already seen the heartbeat on the u/s at a previous appt) and it was not there so then they did an u/s to confirm and it of course was devastating.  I had felt silly at first having him come to every appointment but at that point I was so thankful he was there.  I also had a natural m/c at 5 weeks after this so I am especially paranoid now.  I will say I don't think he needs to be there for the first work up, but I would have him come to the u/s.  I don't want to make you or others worry unnecessarily, but I would hate to have a woman be by herself in the situation I was in.
  • image JenniferW715:
    It's completely understandable if he cannot work it in his schedule, but I will say that my husband makes sure to come to all of the appointments now and we just try to schedule them as late in the day as possible.  Not to worry you but I also miscarried prior to this pregnancy but the only way we knew this was at a routine check up when they went to listen to the heartbeat (we had already seen the heartbeat on the u/s at a previous appt) and it was not there so then they did an u/s to confirm and it of course was devastating.  I had felt silly at first having him come to every appointment but at that point I was so thankful he was there.  I also had a natural m/c at 5 weeks after this so I am especially paranoid now.  I will say I don't think he needs to be there for the first work up, but I would have him come to the u/s.  I don't want to make you or others worry unnecessarily, but I would hate to have a woman be by herself in the situation I was in.

    Sorry for your loses. You are right, it's better to have him there. For some reason I have my first appt with a PA on a Friday and an Ultrasound on Monday. So I am going to take my sister to the PA appointment and have him take off of work for the u/s. In the grand scheme of life a couple hours off work is worth it for our first child and my general sanity.  Thanks for the advice and H & H pregnancy to you!

    Married 4/24/2009 TTC 1/01/2013 BFP 7/1/2013
    "Courage is not absence from fear but rather and understanding; that what you desire is greater than what you fear"

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