November 2012 Moms

SAHM and DH after work

What is it like in your house when DH comes home from work? Does he immediately take over and play, bath, and do bedtime or whichever evening ritual you have? Or does he relax in some way? Are you happy with your arrangement?
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Re: SAHM and DH after work

  • im not a SAHM mom.  however on the days that DH is home, and I work, I come home and the last thing i want to do it get on the floor and "play", which i feel badly for.  but I need a few minutes to just "be" and decompress before getting into it.  for me, this means sitting down for 20 minutes with the news and a glass of wine.  So, therefore, I guess if I were a SAHM, and my DH worked ft, i would HOPE that he could come home and get right into parenting, but knowing what it's like, i wouldn't be surprised if he needed some time to himself.

    this of course is not to say that SAHM's dont need some relief as soon as DH gets home, because of course it's been a hell of a long day.

    So if DH was regularly a SAHD or vice versa, than we would simply have to comprimise decompression time to make life easier for one another.


  • When DH comes home he makes dinner while I take a relaxing bath. He gives LO a bath after we sit and play a bit. I nurse and rock her to sleep and then I usually go to sleep around 9. He'll stay up to do work, or to work on some personal projects.

     

    I'm very lucky with my arrangement. DH is very helpful. 

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  • DH is the SAH parent.  But I'm "on" from the minute I walk in the door.  I really wouldn't have it any other way.  The evenings are my favorite part of the day.

    I get off the train around 6:00 and then we get home and I give F his solids, play for a bit, give him his bath, get him dressed for bed, then he has his last bottle and goes down around 7:30. 

    During this time, DH cooks or picks up dinner.  So, we eat when F goes to sleep. 

    Then we do whatever needs to be done around the house, spend some time together, maybe watch some tv or something.

    Then I go back to work for an hour or two (it's been more like 3 or 4 lately, sigggggh) before I go to sleep. 

    "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities."


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  • image LuckyMissus:

    DH is the SAH parent.  But I'm "on" from the minute I walk in the door.  I really wouldn't have it any other way.  The evenings are my favorite part of the day.

    I get off the train around 6:00 and then we get home and I give F his solids, play for a bit, give him his bath, get him dressed for bed, then he has his last bottle and goes down around 7:30. 

    During this time, DH cooks or picks up dinner.  So, we eat when F goes to sleep. 

    Then we do whatever needs to be done around the house, spend some time together, maybe watch some tv or something.

    Then I go back to work for an hour or two (it's been more like 3 or 4 lately, sigggggh) before I go to sleep. 

    you're a better woman than me! Don't get me wrong - I <3 my kids. But i just need a minute...

  • Our situation is reversed. DH is a SAHD, while I work full time. He watches DS during the day. I come home for lunch and nurse DS while DH makes me lunch. When I get home from work, I take over with DS. I give him his bath, play with him, read him his story, and put him to bed.

    DH does a lot of the housework, but in evenings, either one of us will make dinner and clean up. We each do our own laundry. DH mostly does DS's laundry.

    I also assume DS duty for the weekend or any time I have off work. DH gets a break, and I get to spend time w/ DS, so we both get exactly what we want. Our arrangement works great for us. We never really discussed it, it just sort of happened this way and now it's routine.

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  • I hand Noa over the minute he walks in.
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  • I'm currently a SAHM for the summer...but things haven't changed much from when I was working.

    When DH gets home, he'll get changed, get a snack, look through mail, etc. for a little bit, then either watch/play with LO or make dinner (I ask what he'd prefer to do).  Now that it's summer and we grill a lot, he usually cooks dinner, which he likes b/c then he can putz around outside, water the garden, etc. while dinner's grilling.

    He gives LO her bath, then I do bedtime.  When I was working, he would do the dinner dishes, but he doesn't do that as much now and I'm fine with that.

    2 nights a week, he works late...on those days he'll watch LO for a little in the morning so I can shower and have a little break before watching her the rest of the day. 

  • image uconnhuskie007:
    image LuckyMissus:

    DH is the SAH parent.  But I'm "on" from the minute I walk in the door.  I really wouldn't have it any other way.  The evenings are my favorite part of the day.

    I get off the train around 6:00 and then we get home and I give F his solids, play for a bit, give him his bath, get him dressed for bed, then he has his last bottle and goes down around 7:30. 

    During this time, DH cooks or picks up dinner.  So, we eat when F goes to sleep. 

    Then we do whatever needs to be done around the house, spend some time together, maybe watch some tv or something.

    Then I go back to work for an hour or two (it's been more like 3 or 4 lately, sigggggh) before I go to sleep. 

    you're a better woman than me! Don't get me wrong - I <3 my kids. But i just need a minute...
    Hahaha! I *try* to relax on the train home.

    "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities."


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  • DH comes home and either cooks or plays with DS while I cook. Then I nurse DS and DH takes him up for a bath. I put him in his PJs and we lay on his nursery floor (all 3 of us) and read stories with cooper the bear. DS goes to sleep and DH and I snuggle in the gazebo in the backyard with tea and catch up. 

    On weekends I sleep in while DH gets up with DS and takes him grocery shopping or for a walk. He feeds him breakfast and brings him up for nursing a couple hours later.  It's our trade off since I wake up for his 5am feed (he goes back down til 7 or 8). It took 9 years of figuring each other out and DH is super thoughtful and a very hands on dad. 

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  • when DH gets home he changes, has a snack and we both take care of LO.  I usually cook during the week while he plays with her and then we both give her a bath and I usually put her down.

    Last night I went swimming from 6-8 so he put her down....

     

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  • I only work 3 or 4 hours each morning right now and FI works 6 am to 2 pm. When he gets home around 2:30 he immediately takes a looong shower. He then usually "unwinds" more by playing his guitar.
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  • I SAH while DH is in PA school.  Unfortunately, his "off time' is studying, so he is only home for about 30 minutes to eat dinner, and then he's at his books again.  He comes home, changes clothes, entertains the kids for about 5 minutes while I finish cooking/setting the table, and we eat dinner.  After dinner, he's either downstairs or at Starbucks studying while I do the bedtime routines with the boys.  It's very stressful with feeling like I'm the only provider for the boys, but we look forward to Saturday mornings when DH takes off from studying to do Farmer's Market, beach, etc.
    I: November 2011 
    M: November 2012
  • I usually try to get a feel for his mood and respond accordingly. Some days he needs to decompress, others he can't wait to play.
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  • Depends on how his day went and when he gets home, if we have something going on and how far I am with supper. He entertains and takes care of H when I need him to. Mostly it is just playing with him while I finish supper and do the dishes. I do bath and bedtime routine most nights.
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  • I get annoyed when he doesn't jump right in but I guess I need to remember that 50 hour work weeks are rough sometimes.
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  • DH comes home and takes a few minutes to change clothes, sit and relax. LO usually sits with him on the couch to relax. Depending on what needs done that evening, we share baby duties. We wing it. Some nights, I give almost all of the care. Other nights, I hardly see her. We just do what works when it works.

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  • image JKVogt:
    DH comes home and takes a few minutes to change clothes, sit and relax. LO usually sits with him on the couch to relax. Depending on what needs done that evening, we share baby duties. We wing it. Some nights, I give almost all of the care. Other nights, I hardly see her. We just do what works when it works.

    This is pretty much us too, Im a SAHM and when he gets home I try and have dinner ready but if the baby is needing my "cooking time" He gets it and either DH or myself will fix something once he gets home, or even just have a snack/ light meal instead. I usually give all the baby care but DH sometimes does some, if not he is usually tidying things up. He takes the night feeding if there is one most of the time also. 

    Sometimes I wish he did a little more, and here lately he has been. I went to the store with my sister and he took care of A. (He's only happend like twice and once was not pretty when I got home, last time it was very nice :). )  plus I was sick almost all day yesterday and he took care of him like a pro. ( baby slept when I did lol) 

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