June 2013 Moms

Difficult Deliveries

Our beautiful son was born this past Tuesday.  I was in labor 66 hours, with nearly 3 hrs of coached pushing.  About 24 hrs of med-free labor, then a decision to go with an epidural, which didn't work as it should.  Lots of other unpleasant stuff along the way.  In the end, he was born with forceps because they had to get him out quickly as his heart rate was dropping.  There was a knot in his umbilical cord, and it was wrapped twice around his neck.  I had a 4th degree tear.  Oh, and I developed kidney stones the day after delivery, which have yet to pass completely.

Some of you other ladies who have had difficult deliveries, please talk a little bit about your experiences as well as your mental and physical recovery.  This is my third day home and I'm having a hard time dealing.  My mother and husband are wonderful--managing household tasks and encouraging me--so it's not due to lack of support.

I just don't know what to do with this broken body of mine or how to manage it so it will do what it should and care for my baby. (I know: follow my doctor's instructions.  But they don't tell me how to live through this.)  I want to hold and cuddle and feed my son, but there are so many things I haven't the strength for yet.  I want to let go of the hurt, but it won't go away.

Re: Difficult Deliveries

  • I'm so sorry. I'm a STM and had a wonderful delivery. First time around wasn't perfect but a walk in the park compared to yours. Just take it one day at a time. Try to focus on the positive, your healthy baby. Work on resting and healing so that you can be more attentive on the coming weeks. Sorry I don't have better advice.
  • Congratulations on the birth of your LO. I am sorry to hear about your Difficult experience. My labour was no where near as hard as yours but I had a huge internal tear and bleed for 3 hours until a surgeon stitched me up. I struggled holding my LO to feed because I didn't have strength. Just do what you can, and dont feel guilty about what you cant. I'm sure your doing a fantastic job as a mommy. GL

  • I had a difficult delivery as well, also forceps. I credit my recovery with taking the pain meds (just plain Advil and Tylenol for me) and getting out. If you can spend a couple of minutes outside, maybe take a short walk I really encourage it. I think that made a huge difference for me. A friend gave me a donut pillow which mad sitting to eat and nurse a lot more comfortable the first couple of days. 

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  • We went in for an induction on Thursday night (41+5) and Anna was born Saturday morning (42 weeks exactly) at 11:34. I toughed it out with pitocin and no epidural until Saturday morning at 4am. I went in at 1cm dilated, about 50% effaced, praying that my body would somehow just start labor on its own. The cervidil didn't work. The pitocin didn't work in the way they hoped - I never got real contractions - it was just one solid cramping pain, and they kept looking at the monitor wondering how to make the cramps into contractions. Once I gave up on my birth plan and got the epidural, I started throwing up and LO's heart rate dropped as low as 70 a few times. When I went into the hospital, she had been facing my back, but when it finally came time to push, we realized she was suddenly "sunny-side up." I pushed for only 40 minutes, during which time my temperature went up to 103 and the baby's heart rate went above 210. She was at +2, +3, but we were rushed to the OR for an emergency c-section. My OB had to push her back in so he could pull her out through my belly, and he said that she would have "never" made it through vaginally. She spent two days in the NICU due to the fever so we had a rocky start, but everything is much better now.

    Physically, healing hasn't been that bad. Emotionally, I am having a really hard time. We had always talked about wanting 4 kids, and I'm worried that I won't be able to have 4 c-sections and that the size of our family will be dictated by the scar tissue on my uterus. I want to think about someday doing a VBAC, but I'm so discouraged that my body never progressed "properly" - not even with pitocin - and I worry that I would go through everything to wind up with a c-section again. I worry about doing either c-section or VBAC and having something happen to future babies or to me... especially now that I have Anna.

    I know having a healthy baby is what matters at the end of the day and I am so grateful to have her in my life... But I can't help but feel like my body failed me. And I worry that it will happen again. And I know I don't have to worry about it right now, but I do. I always thought that the day I had my first baby would be the best day of my life, but I can't think about it without feeling anxious and nauseous and scared. I'm terrified to go through birth again.

    I don't really have any advice for you, but you're certainly not alone. I hope you feel better soon...

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  • I've suffered from chronic pain from several diseases for over 10 years. For me, the hardest part about being in pain is allowing other people to take care of me so that I don't make myself worse. It isn't easy, but let yourself heal so that you can be at your long term best for LO.

    I hope this all becomes a distant memory for you soon. Hang in there! hugs


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  • I had a 52 hour med free labor, I completely hear you. Take it one day at a time, it gets better every day.
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  • Mine had a lot less complications then your delivery but I had major internal tearing, episiotomy and forceps were used as well.  I lost a lot of blood and almost had a blood transfusion.  

    Her birth was very fast and furious basically.  Im still very sore and am still limited in what I can and cannot do.  I deffinately over do it way to often and then pay for it big time.   Try your best to take it easy ( I know hard to do with a newborn)

    but let people help you.     

    Hope you start feeling a bit better soon! 

  • jennOKjennOK
    250 Answers 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    I had a difficult delivery and recovery as well. At my 40 week appointment, I was sent to L and D to do a routine NST before I was allowed to go over my due date. That's when everything fell apart. After multiple tests, the doctor told me my baby was in distress and had to be born that day. He was measuring 6 weeks behind in growth. Come to find out my placenta was less than half the size it should have been, and nobody ever caught it, despite all the ultrasounds I had. My baby was starving in the womb and hadn't grown since my 35 week ultrasound. I ended up with an emergency Csection. Thankfully, my baby was ok. He seems to be thriving now that he has some nourishment on the outside.

    I on the other hand have had a terrible recovery. I bled out in my stomach from the Csection. They missed a bleeder under the skin or something. It left my stomach black and swollen. There was too much blood to readsorb, which the doctor thought it would do. Now, it has been draining from the incision for several days, which is terrifying to see all this blood coming out of your body. I've been to the doctor and emergency room with it. They've both told me that it had to get out and just look for infection. My mother had to become my nurse, dressing and cleaning it for me several times a day.

    It has been an emotional roller coaster. I just want to be well to take care of my baby. My mother and mother in law have stayed with me practically around the clock. I couldn't have made it without them. I cried the majority of one day because I was scared about what was happening with my body and sad about not being able to care for my little one like I wanted to. I just keep telling myself it's going to get better. And I can see small improvements in myself each day. I have to give myself a pep talk sometimes, but when I look at my little boy, I know it is all worth it.
  • I had a pretty difficult birth experience, 3 hours of pushing, 3 failed epidurals, a spinal and a csection. My LO had jaundice and a pretty bad laceration and bruise from getting so stuck. My uterus tore while trying to get him out and I lost quite a bit of blood. I was in hospital for 5 days which I think helped me a lot. My mom is still here helping me out and dh. Like pp take it one day at a time!
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  • Wow ... This feels like the pain Olympics. Ha.

    Short story? I was induced at 36 weeks, four days due to complications. We started with a Foley Bulb on Monday night. On Wednesday afternoon, following 43 hours of labor, during which I had two failed epidurals; a high dose of magnesium sulfate; two episodes where they had to give me ephedrine because my blood pressure dropped to 88 over 44; my finger pricked every hour for blood sugar checks; hours where baby's heartbeat would drop every time I had a contraction; and failure to progress past four centimeters, I finally had to have a C section to get baby out. My epidural failed during surgery and I was able to feel most of the pain of the procedure.

    I was in intense discomfort for the first few days, and by Saturday, it was so excruciating, I could barely talk. Turns out during my surgery, my bowels had been paralyzed, so I hadn't been able to poop or pass gas for days. I started vomiting bile and ended up with a tube down my nose to drain the contents of my stomach. I was still in such pain, and I spiked a fever, so I was put on a high dose of antibiotics and was sent for a CT scan on Monday ... That was the day I started to prepare for my son's life without me, and my family began to fear I would not survive. That's how sick I was. The scan found fluid on my lungs and around my spleen from the surgery, and thankfully my fever broke, but I just had to deal with all the pain from the issues I was facing. After all that, I ended up having severe diarrhea after my bowels started working ... Turns out, I caught C Diff, which I would battle got another 10 or so days.

    I missed the first two weeks of my baby's life essentially. My partner and my Mom spent days having to wipe me I was so sick. His actual birth was nothing like I could have ever imagined, and because of how they cut me, I will only be able to have a C section if we do this again.

    Mentally and emotionally, the days after I came home were hard. But honestly, I quickly realized how lucky I was to be alive. How lucky I was to have such a beautiful son. How lucky I was to have wonderful people who loved me enough take such care of me. And I spent every second trying to make up for lost time, even though physically I was still in such bad shape.

    My recovery is still ongoing, I am still facing a lot of issues from all that went down. But I just have to take it one day at a time, and so do you. Just remember that you can not change how things happened with the birth. You and baby are both here safe and sound. And each day will be better than the last.

    Best of luck to you.
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    We lost our first (EDD 07/23/12) after finding out at 12 weeks there was no longer a heartbeat. Our rainbow was born 05/22/13 and was worth all we went through.

    “So can you understand? Why I want a daughter while I’m still young? I wanna hold her hand and show her some beauty before all this damage is done. But if it’s too much to ask, it’s too much to ask … Then send me a son.” – Arcade Fire
  • Faith7Faith7
    Long-Lasting Membership 100 Comments 5 Love Its
    Thank you for sharing your stories.  It's encouraging to hear how you all are managing and coping through the various traumas.  Easy birth stories are much more pleasant for everyone, but it's good to share the difficult ones as well.  And it's good not to feel so alone in this.  I'm working on taking it one day at a time, as you all suggest.  Good luck to all of you.
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