Pre-School

Taking classes...

The girls take swim classes, John sits and waits.  He'll go in the pool with me up to his knees.  But he won't take classes.  DD#1 takes tae kwon do, the twins did a trial, and he liked it well enough- tried hard and seemed to like it.  I think it could be good for some of his physical weaknesses. 

HOWEVER- at $900 for 6 months (shortest membership), I am loathe to sign him up because he is inconsistent, and frankly, though he seems excited about it now, I really want him to take swim first. 

They turn four in a couple weeks, at which point I will sign up DD#2.  Would I be a monster and scar him for life if I tell him he has to complete one swim class before he can take TKD? 

If you really want to be happy, no one can stop you.

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Re: Taking classes...

  • Nah.

    Char was scared of swim lessons because she didn't want to get her face wet, and I just made it very matter of fact that kids her age took lesson. I also bribed her with m an m's. If you are matter of fact about it as if somehow swim lessons and tae kwon do were linked by the universe, perhaps he will just accept it and move on.

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  • Yeah I think it is fine.

    The thing that I think is so hard is that swim lessons, while 'fun', are an important skill and so we can't think about them in the same way as optional fun stuff like sports, TKD, soccer, gymnastics, etc... many parents feel really strongly that their kids learn to swim for good reason so forcing the issue a little is ok, in my opinion.

  • LSU628LSU628
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
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    I made Grace do it last summer. She screamed in the poor woman's ear for 2 weeks. I also bribed her with a trip to Chuck E Cheese at the end of the class. To me not learning to swim isn't an option. I'd rather my kid cry than drown.
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  • I used to teach martial arts and would never sign a 3yo up for martial arts at all and expect them to get something out of it and would never ever ever pay 900 for something for six months for a 4yo that might decide not to participate. The only way I would consider it is if the owner tells you and puts in writing that if you cancel the credit can be applied to the oldest child. Even then I personally do not like martial arts for 4yos because chances are they will not stick with it and then won't want to do it when they are older and can get so much more out of it. And IMO the last sentence can apply to anything but martial arts can teach so much about confidence self respect and self defense etc that it is different to me
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
  • image Littlejen22:
    I used to teach martial arts and would never sign a 3yo up for martial arts at all and expect them to get something out of it and would never ever ever pay 900 for something for six months for a 4yo that might decide not to participate. The only way I would consider it is if the owner tells you and puts in writing that if you cancel the credit can be applied to the oldest child. Even then I personally do not like martial arts for 4yos because chances are they will not stick with it and then won't want to do it when they are older and can get so much more out of it. And IMO the last sentence can apply to anything but martial arts can teach so much about confidence self respect and self defense etc that it is different to me

    DD started marital arts at 3y 3mo old, and is 5y 3mo and is at 6th gup.....she has gained so much out of it, confidence, strength, coordination, focus and social skills (our karate school is like our second family, DH and I decided to join after she was in if for nearly a year) the variety that they offer is awesome (she does open forms, knows the basics of nun-chucks, bo, and stick forms/defense, spars and self defense methods and anti-bullying techniques).......I do have to agree that 900bucks it a lot, if you are forced into a six month contract - we pay nothing near that. 

    As for the swimming aspect we have no interest in swimming in our family.....and never has been anything we enjoy, don't know anyone with a pool, and there are no pools in our neighborhood.  The only time we are in/near the water is when she is on my dad's boat, and during that time she is in a life jacket period....no ifs ands or butts.  Maybe if she take an interest in swimming we will get lessons, but until then, I am not forcing the subject.  I don't want to force her to do something that she doesn't want to do.  When we are by water, life jacket, period.

  • image Littlejen22:
    I used to teach martial arts and would never sign a 3yo up for martial arts at all and expect them to get something out of it and would never ever ever pay 900 for something for six months for a 4yo that might decide not to participate. The only way I would consider it is if the owner tells you and puts in writing that if you cancel the credit can be applied to the oldest child. Even then I personally do not like martial arts for 4yos because chances are they will not stick with it and then won't want to do it when they are older and can get so much more out of it. And IMO the last sentence can apply to anything but martial arts can teach so much about confidence self respect and self defense etc that it is different to me

    Oh I hear you!  When DD started, there was a threes class before her class and it blew my mind, how little seemed to be going on to my untrained eye.

    But DD#1 was almost 5 when she started and it has changed her.  I HATE going because it is crowded, too little seating, wrangling the twins while trying to watch a little- ack.  But my little girl is now asserting herself, learning humility (an area I need help with-lol), and they require a parent and a teacher report before they are allowed to belt up, so she really takes the lessons on discipline to all areas. 

    It's just a fact the twins get to do everything before #1 did because they are following her.  They know the student creed and the kamsahs for white and gold belts.  And when practicing bopper sparring, they are all pretty equal.  I have no doubt it will be remarkable for each of my kids for different reasons, but the $$$$$ is appalling.  THen the gear, tournaments, and stuff.  I don't expect them to stick with it, but like swim lessons, would like them to take enough away to protect them and give them confidence when needed.  Luckily we'll only have two preschool tuitions this year to offset the cost of TKD!!

    If you really want to be happy, no one can stop you.

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  • image fredalina:
    Nah. Char was scared of swim lessons because she didn't want to get her face wet, and I just made it very matter of fact that kids her age took lesson. I also bribed her with m an m's. If you are matter of fact about it as if somehow swim lessons and tae kwon do were linked by the universe, perhaps he will just accept it and move on.

    Yea, when the girls started, he said he would take swim classes when he was 100.  Now he says he'll agree when he is 5. He does have some "sensory differences" and he is improving in the bath tub (not freaking out if a drop of water lands near his face).  He's a good boy so I hate to force.  He is also incredibly sensitive and cautious so I don't want to let it go too long.  Maybe t he trend here for pool parties will motivate him.  Sigh. 

    If you really want to be happy, no one can stop you.

    image
  • image fredalina:
    Nah. Char was scared of swim lessons because she didn't want to get her face wet, and I just made it very matter of fact that kids her age took lesson. I also bribed her with m an m's. If you are matter of fact about it as if somehow swim lessons and tae kwon do were linked by the universe, perhaps he will just accept it and move on.

    Yea, when the girls started, he said he would take swim classes when he was 100.  Now he says he'll agree when he is 5. He does have some "sensory differences" and he is improving in the bath tub (not freaking out if a drop of water lands near his face).  He's a good boy so I hate to force.  He is also incredibly sensitive and cautious so I don't want to let it go too long.  Maybe t he trend here for pool parties will motivate him.  Sigh. 

    If you really want to be happy, no one can stop you.

    image
  • image fredalina:
    Nah. Char was scared of swim lessons because she didn't want to get her face wet, and I just made it very matter of fact that kids her age took lesson. I also bribed her with m an m's. If you are matter of fact about it as if somehow swim lessons and tae kwon do were linked by the universe, perhaps he will just accept it and move on.

    Yea, when the girls started, he said he would take swim classes when he was 100.  Now he says he'll agree when he is 5. He does have some "sensory differences" and he is improving in the bath tub (not freaking out if a drop of water lands near his face).  He's a good boy so I hate to force.  He is also incredibly sensitive and cautious so I don't want to let it go too long.  Maybe t he trend here for pool parties will motivate him.  Sigh. 

    If you really want to be happy, no one can stop you.

    image
  • image fredalina:
    Nah. Char was scared of swim lessons because she didn't want to get her face wet, and I just made it very matter of fact that kids her age took lesson. I also bribed her with m an m's. If you are matter of fact about it as if somehow swim lessons and tae kwon do were linked by the universe, perhaps he will just accept it and move on.

    Yea, when the girls started, he said he would take swim classes when he was 100.  Now he says he'll agree when he is 5. He does have some "sensory differences" and he is improving in the bath tub (not freaking out if a drop of water lands near his face).  He's a good boy so I hate to force.  He is also incredibly sensitive and cautious so I don't want to let it go too long.  Maybe t he trend here for pool parties will motivate him.  Sigh. 

    If you really want to be happy, no one can stop you.

    image
  • image Littlejen22:
    I used to teach martial arts and would never sign a 3yo up for martial arts at all and expect them to get something out of it and would never ever ever pay 900 for something for six months for a 4yo that might decide not to participate. The only way I would consider it is if the owner tells you and puts in writing that if you cancel the credit can be applied to the oldest child. Even then I personally do not like martial arts for 4yos because chances are they will not stick with it and then won't want to do it when they are older and can get so much more out of it. And IMO the last sentence can apply to anything but martial arts can teach so much about confidence self respect and self defense etc that it is different to me

    This is really surprising to me... a martial arts company in our area offers classes at daycares for a really reasonable fee starting in the 3-4 yr old preschool rooms. We thought DS might really respond well to it b/c we have some trouble w/ him focusing and getting easily frustrated w/ things so we enrolled both our twins around 3 1/2. They absolutely love it. He fights me on going to school frequently but never on the day they have martial arts. They had a ceremony to get their yellow belt recently & I was so impressed w/ the amazing way the senseis interact w/ the 4-ish yr old age group, how they talk to htem in understandable ways about determination, not giving up, loyalty, trust, etc... The kids respond so positively and they do all different stances, stretches and they all got to kick a board to break it in half. DS took a number of tries to break his board & he did not get frustrated or anything, just kept trying as the sensei encouraged him...at home this would have been a meltdown.   I don't think that kids not sticking with it is any different than kids who try soccer, dance, gymnastics & other things that dont' work out depending on the kid--- could very well not work out when they're older too, unless there is some significant difference w/ this particular activity?

    But, I do agree that the amount of $ these places charge for the regular classes is quite high for kids that age when you don't know if they'll respond well...but I would hope (?) that the companies would allow a trial period. If not then I guess I would probably pass or look elsewhere. 

  • I it were me I would not force swimming if it is to the point if scaring him. I realize you can argue that they need to know the skill and I totally agree but our swim instructor was just telling me about a 6yo she is teaching that took two years to go back into a pool after a bad instructor dunk her from behind instead of front. I am not saying your instructor is bad but I would not so it if you have a real concern of him being traumatized. If you don't think he is that scared I would push it.

    Is the 900 each or for both little kids?
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
  • image Littlejen22:
    I it were me I would not force swimming if it is to the point if scaring him. I realize you can argue that they need to know the skill and I totally agree but our swim instructor was just telling me about a 6yo she is teaching that took two years to go back into a pool after a bad instructor dunk her from behind instead of front. I am not saying your instructor is bad but I would not so it if you have a real concern of him being traumatized. If you don't think he is that scared I would push it. Is the 900 each or for both little kids?

    Yes, I think we are kind of there. Last thing I need is for one slip- dumb teacher move or playful child splashing freaking him out and me having to bathe him with baby wipes because he won't go near the tub!!!

    The TKD is $900 per child,  Each sibling receives a discount, but it's outrageous.  Pretty much on par with other programs in our region. I hate that I am suckered in and think it is the best thing for my kids.

    If you really want to be happy, no one can stop you.

    image
  • I think it's fine to hold out the martial arts classes as a reward for sticking with swimming.  Kids need to learn to swim for safety.  Even if he doesn't "like" swimming as much, it's important to learn.

    My son does martial arts; I looked around for a while before signing him up.  I'd be skeptical of a program that locks you into a contract for a 3 or 4 y/o, especially if it's not a preschool-specific class.  If the whole class is geared towards preschool learners, it's probably fine.  If it's an open class but majority older kids, I'd be wary.

    At my son's program, the beginner class is for ages 6 to 12.  Sometimes a family will beg the instructors to let a younger sibling sign up.  You can always tell these kids, because they aren't able to stay focused and follow directions.  And they shouldn't be expected to!  That's why they're not in school yet! There's a big difference between a 4 and a 6 y/o!  I've never seen one of these kids make it past the beginner white-belt class.  Again, that's just one program, though.

    Secondary English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 8th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 3rd grade
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