Working Moms
silliegirlie143
member
Any advice from those who travel FT for work?
silliegirlie143
member
in Working Moms
Hi all,
We're talking about TTC and so of course the work and care topics have come up so we're looking for advice from any other families out there.
DH works full time at a great job about which he's very passionate. I travel cross country for my job and I'm gone 3 nights a week, every week.
Are there any other dual-income families out there with one parent on the road all the time? How do you make it work? Were you able to breast feed?
Just looking for some insight from others who have actually made it work
Thanks!
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Re: Any advice from those who travel FT for work?
I see 100+views and no one is responding so i'll try even though I'm not in your situation.
Neither of us travels, but DH works 4 12 hour shifts a week so he might as well be out of town--we don't see him awake for four days at a time. It only works because I have a job that allows me to be a single/all hands on deck parent when he's working aroudn teh clock. If your DH is going to be able to do that, you'll be fine. It's not ideal, but we are happy, our kids are happy and it works for our family.
As for breastfeeding...I think if you're committed to making it work and you have a good pump, you can do it.
Good luck!
I know there are a lot of ppl on here whose SO's or themselves travel a lot...you might want to reword the title of your post to get them.
But anyway, if you can afford a nanny that might be helpful to your situation. MH travels periodically and there was a point when he moved to a different state 4 months ahead of me (with 2 yr old twins at home) but I also had a really flexible job at the time where I could do sick care easily if needed and also did not have to be out really early or home later so while it was hard, it wasn't the worst b/c of my flexbility.
No clue on the BFing. Obviously you'd have to pump and again, I think a number of ppl on here pumped while traveling for work & would have good advice- maybe a different post would gather that kind of feedback...
GL!
I work about 55 hour a week and my husband works 40. Between the two of us someone travels every couple of weeks for 3-7 days at a time.
My advise
1. Take as much leave as possible. This should help to establish bfing and push out when you will have to travel.
2. My husband worked part time and used flma for a couple of months after I returned to work. Look into flma or consider saving any leave he is allowed to take until after you go back to work.
3. Buy an expensive pump. I have had good luck with medla freestyle. It is super easy to fly with milk. Put it in a small insulated lunch bag and ask for it to be hand checked. I used ziplocs with ice from hotels to keep it cold and security never said anything. Every hotel I stayed at brought me a small fridge for free when I mentioned I was a nursing mother.
4. Pay for anything that makes your life easier. We use a cleaning and gardening service. Amazon prime is awesome for shopping. My cousin provides daycare and I pay her extra to drop my son off in the evening.
I would also add that I found it pretty overwhelming for the first couple of months. Know that it will get easier over time as your baby starts sleeping longer and you get a routine down.
If your DH works a regular 9-5 I don't see how it's a problem. He'll do pick-up, bedtime routine, breakfast, drop off, etc.
My husband works 12 hours shifts so there are many nights/morning where I'm the only one around. I am the one that travels for work, though.
If I can I try to schedule it on his days off. If I can't then DH switches to day shift for those days if he's not already on day shift and a sitter meets him at the house and waits there until DS gets up. She gets him ready, feeds him, and takes him to DC, then picks him up and brings him home and feeds him. DH usually gets home within an hour. I don't travel every week, though.
I can't help with breastfeeding as it didn't work out for us for other reasons. Good luck!
Hi
DH and I both work full time, and I travel usually a week a month. January, July and August it's 2 weeks/month. However, I travel back and forth between Boston and NYC at least 2x/week as well.
I have a VERY hands-on DH. We also have his parents about 2 miles from our house, and we have a nanny as well. For me, this combo has made it possible for us to have a family while still keeping my crazy schedule. My job is important for our family as well because I carry all the benefits (DH is, essentially, self-employed) and make almost 4x what DH makes. I can't not work.
One of the biggest fears I had when I was pg with DS was how was I going to make it all work. Some days, I'm leaving the house at 4 am to catch a train or a flight, and then I'm not back before 11 pm. This is primarily why we hired a nanny - she's REALLY flexible, and will come early or stay late without issue. You generally won't find this with daycare. DH's parents help out too...if DH is working late when I'm away, his mom or dad will stay with DS. IMO, you need to have a good support system in place.
Honestly, when I'm home, I don't give a sh!t about laundry, groceries, etc....I want to spend time with DS and DH. So, we hired a housekeeper to come 1x/week, and I do PeaPod delivery for groceries. I also meal plan, and we eat a lot of stuff on the grill or in the crock pot - quick, easy, can prep ahead, etc.
As for breastfeeding, I did it for a year. Was it easy? Not at all...there were many times I wanted to quit just because it was difficult logistically. But it IS possible and if it's important to you, I think you can make it work. Just keep things in perspective and realize that if you have to pump and dump, or you miss a pumping session and need to supplement, it happens and it's not the end of the world. try to build a stash as much as possible while you're on leave/over the weekends, and hopefully, you'll find that it works.
Good luck! Feel free to pm me if you have more questions.
Thanks for all the responses!
I think your stories have definitely helped us to feel like we're not quite so alone in trying to make this crazy schedule work... You're giving us hope.
The nanny concept will probably be our best bet and we'll need to make room for that in our bbudget good news is that we have enough room in our home in case our best candidate is looking for a live-in option (or the occasional overnight).
Again, THANK YOU!!
My H has the more flexible, relaxed schedule than I do, and I actually cut back on my travel towards the end of my pregnancy and the first year. Now that E is 18 months, I am back to traveling 3-4 days a month, and working late nights the other time. It can be done, but I would not make any decisions until you actually have a baby and a faced with going back to work. Here's why - I always thought I would put my career first, nothing could possibly prevent me from saying no to a 3 week trip to India or other long term business travel. Well, then E came along and everything changed. Now making director isn't my priority, he is. I traveled some that first year, and hated it. Traveling and pumping is stressful, I did it for a year, but it sucks. You're constantly wondering if you're pumping enough, which does nothing to help your supply! Three day trips turned into 4 because I couldn't get everything done because I was having to step out of meetings or otherwise stop work every few hours to pump. It can be done, but it has to be a priority and something you want to do. I work with many men who do not see their kids during the week. It breaks my heart, because that is not the life I want. I know many families make that schedule work, and it works for them, but again unless you are fine with that arrangement, it might be miserable.
I am so thankful I have a supportive husband who is really my partner - we split duties 50/50 and some weeks it is more like 70/30 because of my schedule. We also have a nanny, so we can have someone at the house if I need to leave early / will be home late and H can't cover.