April 2013 Moms

Why why why!

Must people voice their obnoxious opinions out loud!

I really am usually not one to care much about people judging me. I know it's a part of life and it comes with the territory of being a mom. In fact, I feel that I'm judged more now than ever.

But really, JUST because I'm 22 people feel the need to voice their opinion about me being a mother. And it'd be one thing if they said "you're so young" well duh I know. I knew I would get this. But when I'm holding my babies, and comforting them people feel the need to ask whose they are and how do I do it by myself because they're just assuming I'm a single mom and on a tight budget.

I mean really do I have to attach each baby to my boob for people to believe that they are indeed BOTH mine!
Yes. I'm young. I planned my babies, don't ask me how my parents took it.
Ugh, people!

Sorry for this long vent I just don't think some people think that I'm capable of being a mom simply because of age and they definitely think it was an accident. And sometimes that just sucks.
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Re: Why why why!

  • I know how u feel im 23 and not married with a bf in the military whose gone half the time. But thats ok with me and people always tell me "oh im so sorry" like I need their pity I chose this. I wanted this baby and so did my bf and we t happy with out lives people just assume we r young and miserable. Dont let it get you. I have a 6 year old sister and when I was young people woukd assume she was mine and would give me these horrible looks with out even asking. People are always going to be judgemental. Shake it off!
  • Uh, ya. When said that I have a 3 month old with my bf a stranger said, "Wow, already have kids? Well, I guess you'll be more careful next time, huh?" 

    I also get the most hate-filled judgemental stares from older women when I'm out with my baby. It's probably because of my tattoos and dreadlocks. I smile back bc it's SO obvious and they turn their nose up and walk away. That's ok, judge me for the way I like to wear my hair or decorate my body, it will ruin your character and make mine stronger. My son will love and accept everyone no matter what they look like.

    I get approached by children all the time, they are so curious, it's adorable. But the adults I have problems with.  

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  • I'm 25 and still look very young... When I was getting my nails done before my wedding two years ago the nail technician thought she had the wrong client because her client was a bride to be. She thought I was 18!

    I get funny looks sometimes and I always feel compelled to show that I have my engagement and wedding rings on. I just think its not the norm to have a baby in your early or mid 20s anymore. There are a lot of career oriented woman who establish their careers before starting a family.

     Just ignore! You are an amazing woman and Mom!! 

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  • I am 25 and have tattoos, and been married for close to 5 years now, people still ask me what my parents said when I told them I was pregnant. I just grin and tell them they were very excited :)
    image Hi there, I'm Susan. image

    TTC Since 2008. 4 losses: 12w5d, 6w6d, 6w3d, 5w3d

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    "A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to" Gandalf the Grey, Lord of the Rings

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  • I understand your frustration. I turned 27 last week but look a lot younger. My husband teaches high school and I've been mistaken as one of his students more than I'd like to admit. When I was pregnant and my rings didn't fit I got my fair share of ridiculous comments. Anyway, you should be proud of yourself for being such a wonderful mommy. I can't imagine having to juggle two little ones. Besides, you'll still be young when they're grown and out of the house!
  • The best mothers I know were 16 and not married, age shouldn't be a problem when maturity is there. Not saying 16 is the best time for a baby, but they got pregnant, and worked through the hardships. Now that 16 year old is 52 and that baby is a grown woman who has five of her own. My mom had me at 22, she had my sister 10 months before and we were super preemies ( my sister was born at 24 weeks, I was born at 28 weeks). She had to deal with a disabled baby whike taking care of me who had minor issues. 

    Young women can make it... they can teach a thing or two to older parents sometimes. I helped raise all 5 of my cousins, but like everyone told me it is different with your own. It is true, I learn things every day still.  

     
     
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  • DH and I got married young at 22 and 24.  When we moved to the east coast my co workers couldn't believe that I was married.  All we heard was "Wow, you are so young to be married."  It was so frustrating to hear this.  Who the f cares?  So what if I found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with early?  And who cares that we wanted to make it legal?  You'd have thought we were 14 and 16.  And we also got the whole, what do your parents think of this?  Which is funny because mine were married at 22 and 21 and MILs first marriage was when she was 19.

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  • I feel like I need a shirt that says. Yes I'm young. Yes I'm married. Yes I finished school. Yes I have a job. No your tax dollars do not support these babies and yes these babies are both mine. Aren't I awesome?!
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  • Oh and yes they were PLANNED!
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  • Yep. I'm 26 but look like I'm still in hs. People always think it's appropriate to say something about it as they just assume I'm as young as I look. Even if I was, though, how would it be any of their business??
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    Little Sister - 4/28/13

  • People have comments no matter what end of the spectrum. I'm 32 but my husband will we 40 this year, he gets all kinds of comments. Its just sad that people can't mind their business or think before they speak! Hang in there :
  • image JordynLeighx3:
    I feel like I need a shirt that says. Yes I'm young. Yes I'm married. Yes I finished school. Yes I have a job. No your tax dollars do not support these babies and yes these babies are both mine. Aren't I awesome?!


    Yes i'll take 2 of those shirts please! One for me and DH. And a onesie for DD. lol!
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  • It is awful to hear what you go through!  People really should keep their mouths in check.  I will admit that since getting married, being pregnant and having the baby, has really made me stop and think about what I say.  I am less irritated with people who have not gone through the process, but those who have - they do not get a free pass.  
    -K

     

  • I got married at 20 and baby at 23..it is getting old with peoples comments but I chose this I'm happy people can kiss my ..I walk away with no comment when strangers say crap to me
  • I definitely understand how you're feeling! I'm 21 (22 in a month) and some people unfortunately have the mindset that young women can't handle being mothers. I've even had family members flat out ask me if my pregnancy was an accident. It may not have been planned but still, why people think its acceptable to ask that is beyond me. It is truly not anyone's business! 
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  • I had people who were shocked DD was my second baby... funny thing is I am 32! Guess I should take it as a compliment. It's still funny though.
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  • I completely understand this, my own MIL is part of the problem to though because she told everyone my LO was a surprise baby because I wasn't finished school yet. My son was planned and I cried the months I got my period. I also have a masters in chemistry and I'm a year out of a PhD, so screw you and the "how do you care for this child". I also frequently forgot to wear my wedding band and would get HORRIBLE looks when I was out. A waitress actually made a snotty comment once I was out with my husband, at first I was embarrassed then I decided she wasn't getting a tip.
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  • image JordynLeighx3:
    I feel like I need a shirt that says. Yes I'm young. Yes I'm married. Yes I finished school. Yes I have a job. No your tax dollars do not support these babies and yes these babies are both mine. Aren't I awesome?!

    I say get those shirts printed asap...makes great for keepsakes and will shut people up big time. 

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  • I'm almost 30 people still ask nosey stuff like this. How old are you you have two kids etc.

    Don't worry. If they ask your age just say old enough to have kids or I am Younger then you.
  • I was married at 19. My kids were born the years I was 20, 22, 24 & 33. I am still with H #1. We endured years of judgmental bs. I'm getting it now from people who know us because "don't you know by now how that happens?" (Yes, that's why there is a 9 year gap. We planned this based on our ability to care for another child) and from strangers who freak after hearing that Phoebe is #4 not #1 "are you Catholic or Mormon? Are you going to be another Duggar family?" (No to all, not that its any of your business!!)

    People always have uniformed opinions about things that are none of their business.   

    If somebody thinks they're a hedgehog, presumably you just give 'em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves.-Douglas Adams
  • Playing devil's advocate, when I was in my early 20s, I was nowhere near ready to be married with kids, nor were a lot of people I knew in that age range. It's great that so many of you are so mature but I can understand why many people are surprised by young, married moms. It's not the norm. But it's also not ok for them to be so nosey.
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  • I just don't know why so many people care. I mean great...you weren't ready. I am. Not that I need any justification over the matter because I know I'm a great mommy but for people to just jump to conclusion and assume I'm alone...? Really? Come on.
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  • image JordynLeighx3:
    I feel like I need a shirt that says. Yes I'm young. Yes I'm married. Yes I finished school. Yes I have a job. No your tax dollars do not support these babies and yes these babies are both mine. Aren't I awesome?!

    You SHOULD make that t-shirt.

    And also, I'm abotu to be 36 and I'm so exhausted from everyday life and adding a child on top of that made it even more exhuasting. I WISH I'd had my babies at 22. :-)

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  • Maybe you can ask them how old They were when they got married and had kids. Probably within a couple years of you now. My mom was when she had me and 21 when she got married.

    TTC since May 2006. After 3 failed Clomid cycles, 2 failed Injectibles/IUIs, 2 failed IVFs and 1 failed FET, we moved on to adoption! 

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    Last ditch FET resulted in BFP, and identical twin girls!

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  • image JordynLeighx3:
    Must people voice their obnoxious opinions out loud!

    I really am usually not one to care much about people judging me. I know it's a part of life and it comes with the territory of being a mom. In fact, I feel that I'm judged more now than ever.

    But really, JUST because I'm 22 people feel the need to voice their opinion about me being a mother. And it'd be one thing if they said "you're so young" well duh I know. I knew I would get this. But when I'm holding my babies, and comforting them people feel the need to ask whose they are and how do I do it by myself because they're just assuming I'm a single mom and on a tight budget.

    I mean really do I have to attach each baby to my boob for people to believe that they are indeed BOTH mine!
    Yes. I'm young. I planned my babies, don't ask me how my parents took it.
    Ugh, people!

    Sorry for this long vent I just don't think some people think that I'm capable of being a mom simply because of age and they definitely think it was an accident. And sometimes that just sucks.

    I get a lot of the same judginess and people asking me if my baby was planned, just on the opposite end of the spectrum. I am 42 and some people think that is too old to have a baby. The heck with 'em!
    image
    Over-40 parents...what we lack in vigor, we make up for with cunning.
  • While I imagine it is annoying to have all those things asked or assumed, I'm sure it wouldn't happen or at least not as often if you didn't have twins. It seems like an ongoing thing in our culture that twins and multiples are shock and aw, both seeing them and the perceived care of them. Which brings out stereotyped opinions. Like the "how do you do it" part says to me, they are thinking the "wow twins must be hard" stereotype, but I don't know why they assume they couldn't feasibly be yours. Shrug.

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