One & Done: Only child

When does this get easier??

I need to wine for a minute...

 I am EXHAUSTED. I have an almost 2 year old, am a SAHM and I also work from home. I run two Etsy shops and hand make bridal hair accesories and home decor. I LOVE my son, I love my work...I am just absolutely bone tired. I can't get any work done during the day bc he is so active and gets into everything so I chase after him and play with him all day and then when he goes to bed I work on orders...sometimes until midnight.

For those with older children, when do they start becoming a bit more self reliant? How old are kids when they can really play/entertain themselves and don't need you every single second of the day? I'm not meaning to sound ungrateful...I am so thankful to have my sweet little boy. I am just hoping one day it will be easier and less exhausting than it is right now.

 

Thanks for any advice!

Re: When does this get easier??

  • Forgot to mention my husband does help too...but he doesn't get home until around 5:30 from work and DS goes to bed around 7 so I'm still pulling all the leg work for the majority of the day.
  • Mine is younger than yours but I don't know how you do it. I'll admit I could never SAH. Sometimes, it is nice to get out, even if it is to go to the office. So here's a creepy internet hug full of admiration for you.

    Anyway you could make arrangements with your DH for some time to yourself after DS goes to bed? This sounds lame but I usually leave for the gym around 7:30 at night and blow off a little steam. It doesn't make the day easier, but it might make you feel a little more human until DS can do more for himself.

  • image Fianschneid:

    Mine is younger than yours but I don't know how you do it. I'll admit I could never SAH. Sometimes, it is nice to get out, even if it is to go to the office. So here's a creepy internet hug full of admiration for you.

    Anyway you could make arrangements with your DH for some time to yourself after DS goes to bed? This sounds lame but I usually leave for the gym around 7:30 at night and blow off a little steam. It doesn't make the day easier, but it might make you feel a little more human until DS can do more for himself.

     Thank you I needed that hug! lol

     I am just so spread thin trying to keep up with everything I feel like there is ZERO time at the end of the day for me. And I'm definitely feeling the effects of it! Colin will be starting 2 year old preschool in September and it will be three mornings a week. I am just trying to hold on until then...those three hours in the morning several times a week will hopefully restore my sanity! haha

  • I guess it depends on the kiddo. DS is almost the same age & is pretty self-reliant. He comes up with his own silly games even if it's just running from one side of the room to the other laughing. LOL

    I would definitely work something out with DH so you have time to manage your business duties. If he's off on weekends, you should get some time to yourself then. 

    "They tell me you were born premature, my child, but this is only partially true..
    for in my heart you were right on time." 
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  • I love three! He has been potty trained for a year, we're done with sippy cups, and strollers. He is so much fun! We can go anywhere. We can have conversations. He can tell me what's bothering him and what he wants to eat. Three has been my favorite age so far!
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  • I don't have any insight here because my daughter is younger, but could you get a Mother's Helper for a few hours during the week to get some work done and therefore free up some evening time to relax or sleep? School is out and I would think you could get young teen to play with your son fairly inexpensively. Good luck!
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  • KL777KL777
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    I SAH the first three years and had a part-time "side-gig" after DH got home once DS turned 2, but I did not work until midnight---and it wasn't every night.  Two year old boys are very high energy and it sounds like you're not getting a break.  Have you looked into a Moms' Morning Out program or taking your son to a "summer camp" a few hours per week to give you some time to yourself?

    I don't know that it ever gets too much easier after age 2, I'm back to work now but oftentimes I work part-time hours and entertaining a 5 year old all day is hard work too, but they do become more self sufficient as they get older (able to watch TV while you shower, able to get themselves dressed, brush their own teeth, tie their own shoes, pour their own cereal, etc.)

    Hang in there and get some help.

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  • image LibraryChica:
    I don't have any insight here because my daughter is younger, but could you get a Mother's Helper for a few hours during the week to get some work done and therefore free up some evening time to relax or sleep? School is out and I would think you could get young teen to play with your son fairly inexpensively. Good luck!

     I really need to look into this! I just wasn't wanting to spend the money but it's getting to the point where I think my sanity is worth forking over the money...I bet you're right about a young teen being inexpensive!

  • image Arcadia1114:
    I love three! He has been potty trained for a year, we're done with sippy cups, and strollers. He is so much fun! We can go anywhere. We can have conversations. He can tell me what's bothering him and what he wants to eat. Three has been my favorite age so far!

    This is GREAT! I hope I have the same experience with three! I can't even imagine life before sippy cups and strollers! haha

  • image KL777:

    I SAH the first three years and had a part-time "side-gig" after DH got home once DS turned 2, but I did not work until midnight---and it wasn't every night.  Two year old boys are very high energy and it sounds like you're not getting a break.  Have you looked into a Moms' Morning Out program or taking your son to a "summer camp" a few hours per week to give you some time to yourself.

    I don't know that it ever gets too much easier after age 2, I'm back to work now but oftentimes I work part-time hours and entertaining a 5 year old all day is hard work too, but they do become more self sufficient as they get older (able to watch TV while you shower, able to get themselves dressed, brush their own teeth, tie their own shoes, pour their own cereal, etc.)

    Hang in there and get some help.

    He does go to a little mother's morning out program at our church but they're out for the summer:/ Not having a morning off a week has definitely caught up with me!

    He starts preschool in the fall...just trying to hold out until then! Thanks for your advice! :)

  • KL777KL777
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    image AnnaRedhead:
    image KL777:

    I SAH the first three years and had a part-time "side-gig" after DH got home once DS turned 2, but I did not work until midnight---and it wasn't every night.  Two year old boys are very high energy and it sounds like you're not getting a break.  Have you looked into a Moms' Morning Out program or taking your son to a "summer camp" a few hours per week to give you some time to yourself.

    I don't know that it ever gets too much easier after age 2, I'm back to work now but oftentimes I work part-time hours and entertaining a 5 year old all day is hard work too, but they do become more self sufficient as they get older (able to watch TV while you shower, able to get themselves dressed, brush their own teeth, tie their own shoes, pour their own cereal, etc.)

    Hang in there and get some help.

    He does go to a little mother's morning out program at our church but they're out for the summer:/ Not having a morning off a week has definitely caught up with me!

    He starts preschool in the fall...just trying to hold out until then! Thanks for your advice! :)

    Yeah, when I participated in MMO, it took a break during the summer months. You're welcome.  During the summer then, I would look into something like KinderCare for maybe two half days per week---I was never big on teens watching DS at that age. And I agree with pp, your DH should give you a break on the weekends too.

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  • I agree with Librarychica in getting a mothers helper or even a program for him a few days a week for half a day or something. I work from home and she goes to DC full time. I cant do anything if she's here. 

    Lillian April 17, 2012
  • lrn327lrn327
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    My son is about 9 months older than yours but wow was that age tough for us!  I think he's mostly an easy-going kid but he's VERY active.  He just now will sit still to even watch tv for 10 minutes (and no more).  Trust me, we watch very little tv but I know many kids can zone out with it, never mine though!  He's getting much, much better though and playing by himself a little bit now.  He can also do some things on his own including most of the potty process/washing hands/putting dirty clothes in the hamper/picking up some toys.  It's getting a lot easier already!  Hang in there but definitely check out at least part-time preschool or mom's morning out.  He'll learn a lot and give you a much-needed break!
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  • IMO, you are doing too much.  I would look into a part time sitter or mother's helper to come a few hours during the week so you can have guilt-free time to get your work done and you don't have to do it at midnight.  No one can keep up that schedule long-term.

     

  • My kiddo's not much older, so I'm not sure how helpful this will be.  I agree with PPs about arranging some time with your H so you can get some alone time and a break from everything.  If it's financially in the cards, would it be possible for you to look into daycare for a couple days a week, even if it's just for a few hours?  Or could you look into a mother's helper or a nanny instead of daycare?  That would give you some time during the day to get your work done without having to worry about supervising your little guy.
  • It gets easier when you get someone to care for him while you work because you really can't do both simultaneously and well. My friends who work for others from home all needed to prove childcare arrangements before working from home. Two of them send their kids to a babysitter and the other has someone come in.

    I found things improved when DS started preschool. 

  • Another vote for it depends on the child (and maybe a little bit of girl vs. boy too??) because DD can go/has gone stretches without needing me to play with her for awhile now.  I lot of people have told me ages 3-4 are pretty good once you can get past potty training,
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