Working Moms

Random NWMR etiquette question

So, we're moving and my aunt/godmother has been offering for weeks to come help. We weren't taking her up on it b/c we really aren't sure we're organized enough to be able to give her a project to do and not just have her hanging around asking questions and being more in the way. But, then she suggested she could help pack/organize our kitchen. Since we need whatever help we can get at this point, we're taking her up on it. 

My mom suggested I should offer her gas money. I think this is TOTALLY WEIRD. She's financially secure, she's been offering to help, she wants to come, etc I think it's super weird to pay for gas. It's not like she's in high school. It's not the money, I just think it's weird. I am totally willing to admit I might be wrong on this. WDYT? Is it a nice gesture or weird to offer gas money? She's driving 2 hours here and 2 hours home. 

Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Re: Random NWMR etiquette question

  • aglennaglenn
    Ancient Membership 2500 Comments 250 Love Its Combo Breaker
    That seems weird and awkward to me.  Maybe just take her out to dinner as a thank you or something?
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Well, a four hour round trip is pretty significant.  I think your mom's point is to do something nice for her.  Maybe instead of offering her gas money, you could get her a little something as a thank you for helping.
    ***Siggy warning***

    DX: Endometriosis and Anovulatory Cycles 3/09

    Me and DH, both 34, married 6/11
    Laparoscopy/Cystectomy 9/11
    Clomid 50mg 10/11, BFN
    Clomid 150 mg 11/11, BFP!
    Leo Nicholas, due 8/18/12, born 8/21/12 via c-section

    Trying for #2
    Right Unilateral Salpingo-Oophrectomy, 2/14
    Natural cycle 5/14, BFN
    Clomid 50mg 6/14, BFN
    Clomid 100 mg 7/14, BFN
    Natural Cycle 8/14, waiting for RE appt on 9/5


  • I was going to totally say it seems weird but then I saw she's driving 2 hours there AND 2 hours back? That's a lot of driving! I would take her out to dinner like OP above said.  I think your mom probably suggested it since it's such a far drive? 
    "Babies, Ballet & The Law"
    My 2 girls- Jan 2012
    South Mountain, Arizona- 2014
    Montezuma Ruins, Arizona- 2014
    Grand Canyon 2014
  • I think offering gas is a bit weird but I think you need to definitely offer food at least.  Either take her out to lunch/dinner after or provide food. 

    After the fact you can send a nice thank you card and if you want, maybe throw in a gift card to her favorite store or for starbucks but even that is not necessary.


  • hocushocus
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    No don't offer gas money. I packed my friend's kitchen when she moved in her 7th month of pregnancy. I had to get a babysitter for the kids and bring boxes and drive 3 hours round trip and I never expected or wanted her to pay for that stuff.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker TickerBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Team it's weird.

    Ditto PP-- take her out to dinner or buy her a nice bottle of wine.

    OaD August siggy challenge- fav show that's off the air

    View Full Size Image

    BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12



  • I would take her out to dinner, or have her eat dinner with you as a thank you...that seems less awkward, and something...that while she's there and hungry may as well partake in.
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers Anniversary
  • I'd buy her lunch or dinner or a nice scented candle later as a thank you for helping. I'm with you on the idea that gas money to an adult is weird.


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    \image  image

  • I agree gas money is weird. I would probably take her out to eat if possible and also send a small bouquet of flowers after the move.
    DS: 2/17/11          DD: 9/4/13
  • I agree with PP that offering gas money is kind of odd, but I think your mom is getting at the fact that you should do something nice for her. 

    She would probably rather just have some time with you.  I would take her out for a nice quiet dinner, just the two of you and just tell her how much you appreciate her help while you are there. 

  • If she's consistently been offering, and I'm assuming she knows where you live so it's not like the drive is a big surprise, then yea it would be very awkward to say "here's some gas money". She obviously wants to help you and is aware that it means a long drive.

    Ditto PPs, feed her the day of, and send a really nice thank you note. 

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards