Working Moms

Random NWMR etiquette question

So, we're moving and my aunt/godmother has been offering for weeks to come help. We weren't taking her up on it b/c we really aren't sure we're organized enough to be able to give her a project to do and not just have her hanging around asking questions and being more in the way. But, then she suggested she could help pack/organize our kitchen. Since we need whatever help we can get at this point, we're taking her up on it. 

My mom suggested I should offer her gas money. I think this is TOTALLY WEIRD. She's financially secure, she's been offering to help, she wants to come, etc I think it's super weird to pay for gas. It's not like she's in high school. It's not the money, I just think it's weird. I am totally willing to admit I might be wrong on this. WDYT? Is it a nice gesture or weird to offer gas money? She's driving 2 hours here and 2 hours home. 

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Re: Random NWMR etiquette question

  • aglennaglenn
    Long-Lasting Membership 2500 Comments 250 Love Its Combo Breaker
    That seems weird and awkward to me.  Maybe just take her out to dinner as a thank you or something?
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  • Well, a four hour round trip is pretty significant.  I think your mom's point is to do something nice for her.  Maybe instead of offering her gas money, you could get her a little something as a thank you for helping.
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  • I was going to totally say it seems weird but then I saw she's driving 2 hours there AND 2 hours back? That's a lot of driving! I would take her out to dinner like OP above said.  I think your mom probably suggested it since it's such a far drive? 
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  • I think offering gas is a bit weird but I think you need to definitely offer food at least.  Either take her out to lunch/dinner after or provide food. 

    After the fact you can send a nice thank you card and if you want, maybe throw in a gift card to her favorite store or for starbucks but even that is not necessary.


  • hocushocus
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    No don't offer gas money. I packed my friend's kitchen when she moved in her 7th month of pregnancy. I had to get a babysitter for the kids and bring boxes and drive 3 hours round trip and I never expected or wanted her to pay for that stuff.
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  • Team it's weird.

    Ditto PP-- take her out to dinner or buy her a nice bottle of wine.


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  • I would take her out to dinner, or have her eat dinner with you as a thank you...that seems less awkward, and something...that while she's there and hungry may as well partake in.
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  • I'd buy her lunch or dinner or a nice scented candle later as a thank you for helping. I'm with you on the idea that gas money to an adult is weird.


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  • I agree gas money is weird. I would probably take her out to eat if possible and also send a small bouquet of flowers after the move.
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  • I agree with PP that offering gas money is kind of odd, but I think your mom is getting at the fact that you should do something nice for her. 

    She would probably rather just have some time with you.  I would take her out for a nice quiet dinner, just the two of you and just tell her how much you appreciate her help while you are there. 

  • If she's consistently been offering, and I'm assuming she knows where you live so it's not like the drive is a big surprise, then yea it would be very awkward to say "here's some gas money". She obviously wants to help you and is aware that it means a long drive.

    Ditto PPs, feed her the day of, and send a really nice thank you note. 

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