"The Talk"

gollywollypog

My H just had it with Joaquin, who is 7.  Which is why I'm up at nearly midnight.  Eating whoppers and chips and salsa.

It actually went really, really well.  Our kids are pretty sheltered when it comes to sex stuff.   Well, sexualized stuff, anyway.  They already know almost everything about baby stuff, which is a really good lead in to the rest of it.  They are just sheltered when it comes to sex on tvs and movies, etc.  H said it wasn't really awkward at all.  He used a book to help. 

I talked to Avalin tonight, too, but we just skimmed the surface.  She's not ready for the whole bazinga yet. 

MAH BEHBEES.  I feel so old.

 

jodegaard

BPaws:

Awww! Yay!!

How did you guys decide it was time to go there? I got the talk at 18, when my dad thought I was getting my first period and insisted my Mum speak to me!

I need to know how your dad thought you were getting your first period at 18.

thepretzelchick

My brother gave me the talk when I was five and illustrated with my Barbies. A few years later my mom gave me the talk with more detail from the female side.

I appreciated how open my parents were with us about sex. It was normal dinner conversation. I was never tempted to go experiment, and they didn't build it up as the be all to end all, so when I finally did have it, there was no letdown afterwards.

jodegaard

I imagine I would feel odd too, Klil!

gollywollypog

Haha Bpaws!  Funny story. 

H and I didn't get "the talk" when we were little.  We knew we wanted to start communication early with our kids. 

I've been thinking it's getting to be time for a while, maybe a few weeks?  I had ordered a few books and they came in the mail a few days ago.  I told H this evening he was up to bat and he just took over. 

Kids are aware of the sensations they get even from a young age, and I was picking up on a bit of that recently.  I felt compelled to go ahead and open up some honest dialog now so if/when they have more questions, they'll have an open door to come to us. 

Joaquin is very informed now.

Avalin is still only 5 so we're waiting another year or two before going into all the details. 

gollywollypog

thepretzelchick:

My brother gave me the talk when I was five and illustrated with my Barbies. A few years later my mom gave me the talk with more detail from the female side. I appreciated how open my parents were with us about sex. It was normal dinner conversation. I was never tempted to go experiment, and they didn't build it up as the be all to end all, so when I finally did have it, there was no letdown afterwards.

Thanks Pretz! I like this comment a lot. I hope this is how our family can be.

 

gollywollypog

We got the first two of a series. This one for A: https://www.amazon.com/The-Story-Gods-Design-Book/dp/1600060137/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1372310115&sr=8-2&keywords=before+i+was+born

And this one for J: https://www.amazon.com/Before-Was-Born-Gods-Design/dp/1600060145/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_y 

They are based on Christian principles but are not prudish.  I really like them!    Having the book to use as reference and a rough draft of what you're going to talk about was really nice.

Manda-Kay

I never got "the talk." We watched a video at school in 4th grade and my mom told me I could ask her any questions. The only one I had was how the sperm got in the lady. She told me. That was our "talk." Maybe that's why I'm so naive.

Manda-Kay

KLilley:

thepretzelchick:

My brother gave me the talk when I was five and illustrated with my Barbies. A few years later my mom gave me the talk with more detail from the female side. I appreciated how open my parents were with us about sex. It was normal dinner conversation. I was never tempted to go experiment, and they didn't build it up as the be all to end all, so when I finally did have it, there was no letdown afterwards.

Thanks Pretz! I like this comment a lot. I hope this is how our family can be.

 

That's my hope too.

Crossingfingers

Dang, maybe I have been in denial! .....maybe it is time to order some damn books for my eight and almost seven year old...uugh.

ks3pink

Wow, 7? My DD is 7 and I am no where near ready for that not is she. We had a talk about cleanliness a few months ago and all she did was giggle. I asked the pedi about it and she said she always tells parents that when talking to their kids about sex they will know when they've gone far enough when the giggling starts. Apparently we have a ways to go. I'm very impressed that your son is so mature!

JayandEmm

I got the talk when I was 12. Before my parents assumed I would be starting puberty [but I didn't start until I was 16...]. At the end my dad told me "boys are azzholes. Keep your legs together."!

H never got the talk, he found out about sex through porn when he was 14.

rp-chicago-mom

Good for you! My parents suck and my BFF gave me the talk when we were in first grade. She is currently doing her rotations for med school so at least I learned from a would be doctor! They never even brought it up. They just assumed I knew I guess. Oh well, learn from their mistakes.

latnprincess

I never got the talk either.  Talking about it with my mom now, she says she tried but I was always like "ew, no, ew!"  LOL! 

I am dreading the day with Christian... Its coming though.  He talks about kissing all. the. time!!   

JulieMarie21

BlueDevilLady:

My sex talk was me coming home from 2nd grade telling my mom I knew what sex was. She was all "Oh really?" and I said "yeah, it's whether you're a boy or girl....and I know how to spell it. S-e-x."

End of sex talk.

lol, well that is one way to have the sex talk. 

gollywollypog

ks3pink:

Wow, 7? My DD is 7 and I am no where near ready for that not is she. We had a talk about cleanliness a few months ago and all she did was giggle. I asked the pedi about it and she said she always tells parents that when talking to their kids about sex they will know when they've gone far enough when the giggling starts. Apparently we have a ways to go. I'm very impressed that your son is so mature!

Since they haven't been exposed the the perverted side of sex J was really chill and curious about it, not giggly or weirded out by it.  Like I said, they are really sheltered when it comes to that stuff.  Sheltered from the media aspect of it.  It's been really important to me to maintain their innocence as long as possible because of some really crappy stuff that went on when dh and I were kids.

He is very mature.  Avalin, at 5, is less so, but that's why we decided to just skim the surface with her to give her a foundation.  We'll revisit in a year or so.

gollywollypog

JayandEmm:

I got the talk when I was 12. Before my parents assumed I would be starting puberty [but I didn't start until I was 16...]. At the end my dad told me "boys are azzholes. Keep your legs together."! H never got the talk, he found out about sex through porn when he was 14.

  H never got the talk either.  He saw porn when he was like 7 or 8!  His parents were neglectful.  Douches.

 

gollywollypog

Baker_Bride:

Good for you! My parents suck and my BFF gave me the talk when we were in first grade. She is currently doing her rotations for med school so at least I learned from a would be doctor! They never even brought it up. They just assumed I knew I guess. Oh well, learn from their mistakes.

  Thanks bb. 

I really hope our kids will turn out differently than we did while we were in our youth.  We were both promiscuous and our understanding about sex was way off base.  

Taking it into our own hands....I don't ever want to assume anything about my kids.  It's hard.

gollywollypog

latnprincess:

I never got the talk either.  Talking about it with my mom now, she says she tried but I was always like "ew, no, ew!"  LOL! 

I am dreading the day with Christian... Its coming though.  He talks about kissing all. the. time!!   

It was awesome to be able to give H the reigns with Joaquin, Janni.  I really feel for single mamas who have to have the sex talk with their sons.  That has to be really difficult. 

latnprincess

KLilley:

latnprincess:

I never got the talk either.  Talking about it with my mom now, she says she tried but I was always like "ew, no, ew!"  LOL! 

I am dreading the day with Christian... Its coming though.  He talks about kissing all. the. time!!   

It was awesome to be able to give H the reigns with Joaquin, Janni.  I really feel for single mamas who have to have the sex talk with their sons.  That has to be really difficult. 

I know! My Dh would totally comfortable doing it too. He used to facilitate classes on STD's and the proper usage of a condom. Complete with dildo! He'll probably show him the STD video, lol! jk... maybe.

twoitalians

I hope that DH and I can be tactful and educated about the talk when it comes time for DS to know.

I didn't really get the sex talk. When I was in second grade my mom borrowed a book from the library that explained puberty and periods for girls. That's about all I got and that sex was "bad" and not to do it till I was married. Not really any explanation there except that to have sex before I was married was a sin. It's no wonder that I was curious about it and high school health class is where I actually learned about sex.