February 2013 Moms

For moms of older kids, does personality change?

Hi ladies,

For those of you who have older kids, were their personalities consistent from babyhood onward?  Basically, if your LO was a mellow relaxed baby, was he/she a mellow relaxed toddler?

 I'm asking because DS is very chill and easygoing.  People keep saying "just wait until he's two", like he's going to morph into some demon spawn.  I'm hoping he'll stay the easygoing kid I know and love.

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Re: For moms of older kids, does personality change?

  • I think, for the most part, my daughter has stayed the same. She was a fairly relaxed baby, and is a fairly relaxed toddler. She does have tantrums now, but I think that is more a developmental thing (she mostly have them if we don't understand what she wants/is trying to say, or if she doesn't get something she wants). I know as a baby I was very, very cranky. If you ask my mom, I cried for the first 9 months of my life. I started talking and walking at 9 months and turned into a different child. My brother was a quiet, laid back baby and remained that way through toddlerhood.
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  • DD was a very timid shy baby and young toddler. Just before she turned 2 she became a very strong willed 'spirited' kid. She's not shy at all, and very loud. Not sure what happened.
  • He'll be a chill and easygoing two year old, but he'll still be a two year old.  You know?  

    It has been my experience that their personality around 6 months is a reasonable indicator of their personality in general, though that isn't foolproof.  The thing to remember about toddler behaviors is that, as much as they can make mum and dad's lives a living helll, they are developmentally appropriate and, in fact, necessary.  It is your two year old's JOB to test limits.  They have to.  It's how they learn what limits are.  The same applies for consequences, authority, and the difference between their parents and "Everyone else."  If a two year old didn't behave in ways that seemed, at times, certifiable, I would be worried about that child.

     So just try to keep that in mind :)

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  • Our first was a very easy going baby, and a very easy going two year old. Honestly, I can count the number of tantrums he has thrown in his life on one hand - and he is now 3.5. 

    That said, we do try to keep expectations at an age appropriate level, explain a lot of things to him and let him make decisions himself (instead of fighting over putting on a coat, we let him leave the house into the freezing cold and then give him a coat when he asks for a coat).

     

    Our second does not seem quite as easy going, but is a very happy baby who likes to be held. We will see how he turns out when he gets a bit bigger! 

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  • image DC2London:

    He'll be a chill and easygoing two year old, but he'll still be a two year old.  You know?  

    It has been my experience that their personality around 6 months is a reasonable indicator of their personality in general, though that isn't foolproof.  The thing to remember about toddler behaviors is that, as much as they can make mum and dad's lives a living helll, they are developmentally appropriate and, in fact, necessary.  It is your two year old's JOB to test limits.  They have to.  It's how they learn what limits are.  The same applies for consequences, authority, and the difference between their parents and "Everyone else."  If a two year old didn't behave in ways that seemed, at times, certifiable, I would be worried about that child.

     So just try to keep that in mind :)

    Yes  Well said!  My DS1 was a very laid back baby and now he's very inquisitive and has a long attention span for his age and can be very sweet, but he definitely acts like a 2 yr old.  Whoever coined the phrase "terrible twos" wasn't kidding.

     

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  • I've noticed that people love to say, "just wait until..." whenever I say something positive about my baby. It's like they can't just be happy for me...

    I'm a FTM but in my experience with kids (I've been a Kindermusik teacher for 4 years), relaxed babies tend to be relaxed toddlers. But like a PP said, he'll still be a toddler. Reasonable expectations and an understanding of basic child development will get you through! 

  • The whole personality thing confuses me when it comes to my baby.  I can't really declare what her personality is.  She sometimes cries, has really bad gas, doesn't like to nap, loves toys, isn't interested in rolling, smiles and giggles but also does serious stares.  I think her personality is....baby.
  • I feel like it's a total crap shoot. I've seen it go both ways. Super chill babies turn into crazed maniacs, or not. I think no matter what toddlers are toddlers. They can be exhausting and a little crazy. 
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  • DS's personality has stayed pretty even so far. He was a high needs, fussy baby. He's a really sensitive, energetic, and spirited two year old.
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    image carriesu2003:
    The whole personality thing confuses me when it comes to my baby.  I can't really declare what her personality is.  She sometimes cries, has really bad gas, doesn't like to nap, loves toys, isn't interested in rolling, smiles and giggles but also does serious stares.  I think her personality is....baby.
    ITA! I thought I had my second son pegged as super shy since he was until he was 4, and now he is the most outgoing kid ever. I forced him to go to play group and he would cling to me, then have super fun the last 15 minutes. Eventually one day he decided that he would just be not shy what so ever. He will walk up to anyone anywhere and talk. We go to playgrounds and the first thing he does is introduce himself to the other kids. My other two have been pretty even in their personality through out.

     

    All of my babies have been pretty relaxed, and they all have had their terrible two moments.  I must say though, it was terrible two with DD, and angelic twos for my sons. It was three with my boys that they decided to finally hit the terrible twos.

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  • image carriesu2003:
    The whole personality thing confuses me when it comes to my baby.  I can't really declare what her personality is.  She sometimes cries, has really bad gas, doesn't like to nap, loves toys, isn't interested in rolling, smiles and giggles but also does serious stares.  I think her personality is....baby.

    Haha, That's kinda how I feel about DS. 

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  • DD1 was a fussy, colicky, high maintenance baby and I think she's a relatively chill 2.5 year old, compared to other kids her age. Now, this still means a few tantrums a day, and meltdowns over stupid stuff, but she does have the ability to calm herself down when she's upset which is something she couldn't do as a baby.

     

    She also knows how to sleep now, thank heaven.

    Toddlers are a mess, no matter what, though. 

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