June 2013 Moms

Disappointment.

I had another OB appointment today, and I really wanted to avoid being induced or getting a C/S, but my blood work came back and my white blood count is still elevated and he said it would be best to schedule a C/S because he doesn't want to risk stressing out the baby with any drugs. So unless I go into labor myself between now and July 5th, Ill be getting a C/S. I'm dilated to a 3 and about 80%, so no progress has been made. And as soon as he told me that I just started crying. I'm so disappointed, I feel like my body just keeps failing me. I have a NST, a U/S to check my fluids, and some more blood work on Friday and he said if my white blood count is back to normal he will just schedule for an induction so I'm hoping that goes well. 

Re: Disappointment.

  • I'm sorry mama. I would be a mess too. I am hoping that your baby makes an appearance before then and/or that your tests on Friday go well!
  • A lot can happen between now and next week! Hoping you go into labor naturally!
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  • I'm so sorry you're going through this. I was in a similar situation and was also extremely disappointed. We tried a vaginal delivery with pitocin, and after a very long, drawn out labor, I wound up with an emergency cesarean, my baby was born limp, blue and not breathing, then she spent 2 days in the NICU getting IV antibiotics.

    I made the best choices that I could at the time based on the information that I had, but looking back at the labor and looking at her face as I type this... the fact that I risked hurting her to have the birth experience that I wanted literally makes me sick. My heart goes out to the mamas whose babies are in the NICU for an extended period of time - I felt horrible for her and it was only a 48 hour period that she was in there.

    If I had just gone with the cesarean in the first place, I could have held her in the recovery room, had skin to skin with her and tried to breastfeed right away. Since she was in the NICU, I had to wait in recovery for 2 hours alone while my husband went off to NICU and watched them try to get IVs into her tiny little arms. I missed her first bath. I had to pump for the first feeding because I wasn't able to hold her in time for it.

    I am still a little bit sad that I didn't get the birth experience that I wanted. I love my daughter more than anything, but I think it's okay to be disappointed about her birth and I am. The best advice I have is this - if the cesarean is what has to happen, mourn the birth that you wanted. Let yourself be sad, and know that it is reasonable to feel that way. And then get ready to welcome your baby safely into the world.

    Fingers crossed for you that things turn around!

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  • i was in a somewhat similar situation. Going on 40 weeks with zero dilation, not effaced, completely closed cervix. And on top of that the baby was sitting very high and not anywhere near my pelvis. Last thursday i had an OB appointment and they basically told me that a CS would be best for me and the baby. They said i could try to induce but was looking at a possible 85% failure. i lost it! i felt the same way you did about the body just failing me. to avoid any risk to the baby i conceded and said ok to the csection. It was not bad at all. there was maybe about 20 minutes from the surgery to having her in my arms and doing skin to skin. 

     I hope you get good news Friday and have a successful induction but know that a csection is ok. it was definitely not how i planned for our first born to go but at the end of the day, she is here and i love her no matter how she came out!! 

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  • image jmcgra06:
    I'm so sorry you're going through this. I was in a similar situation and was also extremely disappointed. We tried a vaginal delivery with pitocin, and after a very long, drawn out labor, I wound up with an emergency cesarean, my baby was born limp, blue and not breathing, then she spent 2 days in the NICU getting IV antibiotics. I made the best choices that I could at the time based on the information that I had, but looking back at the labor and looking at her face as I type this... the fact that I risked hurting her to have the birth experience that I wanted literally makes me sick. My heart goes out to the mamas whose babies are in the NICU for an extended period of time I felt horrible for her and it was only a 48 hour period that she was in there. If I had just gone with the cesarean in the first place, I could have held her in the recovery room, had skin to skin with her and tried to breastfeed right away. Since she was in the NICU, I had to wait in recovery for 2 hours alone while my husband went off to NICU and watched them try to get IVs into her tiny little arms. I missed her first bath. I had to pump for the first feeding because I wasn't able to hold her in time for it.I am still a little bit sad that I didn't get the birth experience that I wanted. I love my daughter more than anything, but I think it's okay to be disappointed about her birth and I am. The best advice I have is this if the cesarean is what has to happen, mourn the birth that you wanted. Let yourself be sad, and know that it is reasonable to feel that way. And then get ready to welcome your baby safely into the world. Fingers crossed for you that things turn around!

    This is beautifully said!!!
    *~m/c on 6/5/09 @ 7w2d~* *~m/c on 8/20/12 @ 6w5d~*
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