Success after IF

LO Hates DC

I wish there was something I could do. She comes home from DC exhausted because she doesn't sleep and passes out on me. She also cries a lot while there. It breaks my heart every time. Her DC is at an in home center where she gets lots of cuddles, kisses and love from the same two people every day.

Any suggestions to make it better or easier for her? For those on mobile, she's 4.5 months and has been going there PT for the last about 1.5 months. Do we both just have to tough it out? What if she never warms to DC?

 

TTC#1: 4/2010 - Me: 31 DH: 31 – unexplained
9 medicated/monitored cycles = BFN | IVF 1.2 = BFP!!
Beta#1: 162 | Beta#2: 535 | Beta#3: 2,445 | Beta#4: >9,000!

Sophie Joy was born 2/10/2013


TTC#2: 2/2014 - pre-testing completed to prepare for FET#1. Surprise BFP the cycle before FET!!
Beta#1: 301 | Beta#2: 612 | Beta#3: 3,200 | Beta#4: >11,000!
 

Praying for my sister, RunCC37, to have her own miracle!

 

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Re: LO Hates DC

  • kmc84kmc84
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    I don't really have any advice, but I'm sorry she is having a hard time. My bil and sil have their two lo's at an in home care spot. I think they had some difficulties at first, but now their kids love the woman who watches them. I think they just stuck it out without doing anything different. I hope she warms up soon!
    TTC# 1 since 5/10
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  • Ugh, so sorry, Ducky. I have no experience with DC, just wanted to say sorry.

    Any idea why she doesn't sleep there? Is it too noisy? Not her bed? Hungry? Different schedule? Can you bring sheets from home or something familiar?

    What do the DC workers say? Do they have any advice/have they seen this before?

    I honestly have no idea, but I'd definitely talk to them about how things can get better. Wishing you luck!

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  • Poor thing! That's awful. E loves her DC and that is the only thing that gets me through the day. So I can't imagine how tough that is for you!
    It did take E some time to get used to it. And she passed out during dinner every night for a few weeks. Maybe doing PT is harder than FT bc she doesn't have a consistent schedule. Can you find out the DC's routine and try to follow that?
    Big hugs. I'm sure things will get better.
    TTC with PCOS since November 2009
    IUI#1 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP, m/c
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  • I'm sorry I don't have any advice, but I hope she settles into it soon.  I think some babies just take longer to adjust to change than others. 


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  • kaf7kaf7
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    I second everyone else's suggestions and thoughts. And FWIW I've never met a child who didn't eventually warm up to DC or wherever they are in the day. Sometimes they have periods of time where they have throuble going again though (e.g. After a vacation with the family or holidays where they don't go regularly for a bit). GL. I'd say that if you trust the people caring for her to stick it out. 

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  • mnj05mnj05
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    I like TJ's routine idea, I would have never thought of that being an issue in terms of her taking to DC.

    H did well at DC the two weeks he went and he's been back for a day a couple of times. The first week he was really exhausted but he hadn't had any other babies to hear and see/interact with at that point so I'm sure it was overwhelming. I was told he hardly cried and put himself to sleep, which is what he does at home.

    I'm sorry she's having a rough time and you too. I hope she likes it better soon!

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    TTC #1 since 3/2011
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  • I'm sorry. I'm sure that is so hard. I'm pretty sure I remember DS1 having a hard time away from home at that age. He would get overstimulated and exhausted. It was all just a phase and I'm sure your LO will come around to DC. I agree with trying to keep the same routine if there is one. Hang in there mama!
    5 losses and several failed cycles
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  • Im so sorry. Hugs. I would stick it out especially since she seems to be in a good place. She will eventually adjust. Hopefully it will happen soon.

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  • ccamccam
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    PT as in a couple days a week or 1/2 days?  I ask because DS does DC 3 days a week and I feel like his transition took a lot longer than if he was going 5 days a week.  He schedule is so all over the place (M & Th with SIL; T, W & F with DC).  He was exhausted and so cranky when he got home plus throw in being sick a lot those first few months and it was a really hard transition.  Obviously, there is a big age difference between your LO and my DS, but he does really well in each spot now.  He naps well (still not as good as home though) and comes home tired from a busy day, but not a crab!

    I really hope it gets better for you!  I'm sure she is just taking a little longer to get into the routine.  Do you send a blanket or crib sheets there?  Maybe that will help a little more because it will be something familiar to her? 

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  • Thanks ladies and sorry I didn't get back on last night.  Sophie fell asleep on me and I didn't have the heart to move her until her last bottle/bedtime.

    I do love the DC people.  It's just my little crab of a daughter.  She doesn't nap all that well at home, so it's magnified at DC.  Terry, our main DC person, said that she's a baby: babies cry and that she does what she can to settle them and keep them happy.  She will eventually settle into some kind of routine there.  That and Sophie is starting to show her personality which includes a wicked temper (hahaha - just like mom).  When she wants something she means now: not 30 seconds from now; like right now.

    I know part of the issue is that she goes there PT - once or twice a week and never the same days.  MH is a nurse and works 3 days a week, so usually she is home with daddy.  It's probably going to take her longer to adjust than normal.  I do like the idea of giving her a blanket or something from home.  Today I sent her with Mr. Elle-phant, her favorite toy (I guess her favorite...she gets very excited when you bring him out) and maybe I'll start sleeping with the blanket I send her with so it smells like me.  It just makes it so hard to come home and see her little face all red and broken out because she's been crying.  Crying  AUGH, just typing that brings tears to my eyes.

    I'm hoping she'll have a better day today, but I am not counting on it.  At least I know Terry has lots of patience with her.

     

    TTC#1: 4/2010 - Me: 31 DH: 31 – unexplained
    9 medicated/monitored cycles = BFN | IVF 1.2 = BFP!!
    Beta#1: 162 | Beta#2: 535 | Beta#3: 2,445 | Beta#4: >9,000!

    Sophie Joy was born 2/10/2013


    TTC#2: 2/2014 - pre-testing completed to prepare for FET#1. Surprise BFP the cycle before FET!!
    Beta#1: 301 | Beta#2: 612 | Beta#3: 3,200 | Beta#4: >11,000!
     

    Praying for my sister, RunCC37, to have her own miracle!

     

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  • I definitely think the part time makes it a more difficult transition. I am so sorry though. I can just imagine how hard that is on you. I hope things get better, and hopefully as she gets older, she gets adjusted to her new routine. Hugs!
    Dx: Unexplained Infertility

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  • image mdiblasi10:
    I definitely think the part time makes it a more difficult transition. I am so sorry though. I can just imagine how hard that is on you. I hope things get better, and hopefully as she gets older, she gets adjusted to her new routine. Hugs!

    I agree with this. I started sending DS to DC PT when I was still on maternity leave so that the transition would be "easier" on the both of us. I actually think it made the transition harder. He would literally scream the ENTIRE time he was there. The only time he would stop would be if he fell asleep (from crying so hard). It broke my heart and really made me question going back to work.

     For us things didn't get better until he went full time. Then he only cried the first two days and then was fine. I know thats not an option for you, but I guess my whole point is I think eventually things will get better. ((HUGS)) I know this is hard.


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  • Just a thought but maybe sleep with a stuffed animal or crib sheet and use that at DC. maybe she will smell you and adjust easier.
    Confirmed Pregnancy 9/18/2010 M/C 10/27/2010 BLIGHTED OVUM 10/2011 - HSG 2 blocked tubes 11/4/2011 - Lap Surgery - Extensive tubal disease (tubes opened) 1/3/12 - Repeat HSG (L tube open, R tube blocked) 1/15/12 - R tube removed Started Stim Injections 2/17/12 Follistim 300iu and Low Dose HCG 10 units Trigger - 2/25/12 ER 2/27/12 ET - 5 dt - 3/3/12 1 blast transferred 9 frosties BETA #1 - 626 :) Beta #2 - 2470 :) Beta #3 - 5470 3/29/12 - 6wks 3 days - no yolk sac, embie, or hb :( Blighted Ovum 8/3/12 - FET #1 1 flickering blast transferred 8/9/12 - POAS + 8/15/12 - Beta #1 1400 Beta #2 3200 8/20/12 - U/S 5 wks 1 day Yolk Sac seen 8/28/12 - 6wks 2 days - Heartbeat 116 9/4/12 - 7wks 3 days - HB 136 YAY! TEAM BLUE! Alex was born 4/15/13 5:09pm 6lb 10oz 20in!

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  • image Dstevens429:
    Just a thought but maybe sleep with a stuffed animal or crib sheet and use that at DC. maybe she will smell you and adjust easier.

    I'm going to start doing this!

     

    TTC#1: 4/2010 - Me: 31 DH: 31 – unexplained
    9 medicated/monitored cycles = BFN | IVF 1.2 = BFP!!
    Beta#1: 162 | Beta#2: 535 | Beta#3: 2,445 | Beta#4: >9,000!

    Sophie Joy was born 2/10/2013


    TTC#2: 2/2014 - pre-testing completed to prepare for FET#1. Surprise BFP the cycle before FET!!
    Beta#1: 301 | Beta#2: 612 | Beta#3: 3,200 | Beta#4: >11,000!
     

    Praying for my sister, RunCC37, to have her own miracle!

     

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