September 2013 Moms

MIL making me overwhelmed

So I am due 9/23/13 and my MIL is asking me to take a road trip the 2nd week in October from Phx, AZ to Las Cruces, NM to visit my husbands grandmother. She is fairly older (somewhere in her mid 80s) and this will be her first great-grandchild. She is not sick, but one never knows when one will pass. They are afraid that she will never meet our LO. I tried to tell my husband that a 5-6 hour road trip will turn to be a 10hour road trip and not a very pleasant one. He thinks everything will be ok and that it will be worth it. I don't want to feel like a B, but I'm just not feeling a long road trip with a two-week old. Any thoughts?

Re: MIL making me overwhelmed

  • When my DD was 3 weeks old we went to the beach. A 12 hour drive. All she did was sleep and eat. We stopped every 3 hours to stretch her legs and take her out of the seat for a bit. But it was a great trip an she is a great traveler still. I would ask your doctor but ours said it was fine to travel. Good luck.
  • I'm due the same day AND I can't imagine that long of travel at that point... Who knows if you will deliver on your due date!!
  • Could you possibly agree to it tentatively?  Like, say you will try to make it but will have to play it by ear when the time gets closer based on how you're feeling and adjusting to motherhood?

    I tend to agree that a road trip 2 weeks after delivery seems like it might be rough, but I also think by that time we may be feeling much better and excited to show off our little babies to anyone that is interested (or not! lol).

    Pregnancy Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • bexsdbexsd
    250 Answers 500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    You also have no idea how YOU will be recovery-wise. I think a tentative answer is more than reasonable.
  • image bexsd:
    You also have no idea how YOU will be recovery-wise. I think a tentative answer is more than reasonable.

    This.  You will be adjusting to Mommyhood, sleep deprived, and I'm sure the last thing you may want is to go on a road trip.  Also, you never know how your delivery will go and your recovery may take longer than expected.  

    Is there a way she can come to you guys?  Can someone drive out and pick her up?   

    March '15 December Siggy Challenge: Favorite Holiday Movie Gif


    image  image

                     Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

  • Adrd47Adrd47
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper First Answer
    I agree with previous posters about tentatively accepting. But I would make sure it's clear that it's a maybe and not a yes. You'll have a newborn who you don't know what routine will be in, as well as you don't know how you'll feel. Good luck.
  • I did make a long trip around that time with DD and honestly it was so much easier than it would have been later! Newborns sleep a lot, it could really work to your advantage to just get it over with. BUT, I would make flexible plans if any since you never know when baby makes their appearance. You don't want to sit in the car that long with a sore bum.
  • We also have several very important elderly family members who are healthy but you just never know and it is a big priority for us that they get the chance to meet baby girl. For now I'm just letting people know it is a priority but not committing to anything as we don't know exactly when baby will arrive and if we will both be healthy and ready for travel by a certain time. As soon as we are able we will make the effort to visit and everyone is happy with that answer for now.
  • Well, is there another time you can go, like Thanksgiving maybe, or some time before Christmas? I would try to do that, but otherwise say that you will have to play it by ear as you have never had a baby before and aren't sure how a trip will be or how either of you will be feeling. The baby will probably just sleep the whole way, you'll probably just need to stop twice to feed and change. But you don't know how you will feel or how your own recovery will be. Or if something goes less than smoothly during delivery or you go past your due date. There is a lot of uncertainty around the time one is having a baby!!
  • I did a 8-9 hr trip with both DS1 and DD 2 weeks PP and had csections

    It was fine. We spent 2-3 days with great-grandparents

    No extra time on the trip, we normally stop 2-3 times and we did that again.

  • We made a 10 hour trip to Florida not long after DS was born so he could meet his great grandmother.  She had been in bad health though and died about six months later.  I was so glad that we made the trip.  Of course it was about a month after he was born so I had plenty of recovery time.  It was a long drive, but it was really easy to travel with him at that age because he slept most of the time.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    BabyFruit Ticker


    We said goodbye to our sweet Taylor Ashley on August 8, 2012.
  • LCassLCass
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I agree about travelling being easier when they're younger and sleep a lot.  That said, not every newborn sleeps a lot and you don't know yet if you'll be dealing with things like reflux, etc.  If the idea of going that soon after baby arrives is overwhelming to you, I'd suggest you compromise with your MIL and your H and say you'll go end of Oct/beginning of Nov instead.  Generally, things get easier with a baby around 6 weeks (after growth spurts, your hormones have calmed down, you've gotten used to your baby, etc.), but they still sleep a lot at that stage.  Since great grandma isn't sick, there's no major rush, but of course at that age you don't want to wait too long.  And you can always re-evaluate once baby comes, and go earlier if great grandma takes a turn for the worse or baby is super easy.

    BFP #1: July 12, 2010 Natural M/C: July 26, 2010

    BFP #2: January 30 ,2011 Born: September 29, 2011

    BFP #3: January 5, 2013 Born: August 25, 2013!&T1=Lily&T3=&CC=0&CO=&CO2=&W=&TS=&R=A&SC=green

  • I agree with everyone about travelling being "easier" when they are younger, BUT it takes a lot longer, especially if you are breastfeeding.  We took a trip at 4 weeks with my son that usually took us 4 hours and it probably took us 5 1/2 or so because we had to stop to nurse, change diapers, etc.  Also, I had a c-section, and I know at two weeks there is no way in hell i would have taken that trip.  I was just still very uncomfortable and being cramped in a car would have been miserable.  Just my two cents.  I would make tentative plans only, and yes, I think you're right to be annoyed by this request from your MIL.  A few more weeks would be more considerate of her.  
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • 2 weeks does not give you much time to catch up on sleep and recover. 2 weeks after my dd my stitches from where I tore were just starting to feel better but sitting a long time definitely would not have been comfortable.
  • At 2 weeks I was still too swollen and sore to imagine sitting in a car that long! I'd agree to play it by ear, but don't commit to anything.
    BFP#1-7/28/2010, DS-4/11/2011

    BFP#2-7/21/2012, MM/C-8/9/2012

    BFP#3-11/1/2012, M/C-11/25/2012

    BFP#4-1/16/2013, EDD-9/29/2013
    My 4th BFP chart:
    My Ovulation Chart

    Lilypie Maternity tickers

  • FTM, so I can't speak directly from personal experience, but I am part of a large extended family, so I can relate not only to the sense of familial obligation, but have several friends/cousins who have had a similar dilemma. While the road trip itself may not be a problem the timing is a little too close for comfort. 2 weeks from an arbitrary due date (unless you are a scheduled C-section) isn't a good calculation. If the trip is that important to MIL and DH, ask them to plan for at least 4 weeks later, and see how you are feeling. It is a mix of tradition, superstition, and doctor's advice, but most gals in my family don't let the baby leave the house for the first 2 weeks, much less haul them in the car for an extended amount of time. And while I am sure your husband thinks it will be "Ok," and "worth it," (and I'm not really even arguing that being a possibility), you won't know if you can handle it until the baby is here. You will need your rest, too   :-)    If you feel like you can make the trip, perhaps tell them how excited you are to do so, but not in that specific window of time. That also gives baby a little more time to build up her immunity, become alert, and transition into that adorable stage that follows that newborn "you wouldn't believe the day I've had" look. 

     Best of luck, friend! 

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards