The doula posts from the other day got me thinking and I felt the need to write this for some advice/sympathy?/honest input.
After an induction due to estimated size of LO, about 18 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing, my labor story ended in an emergency C-section. Due to the fact that LO's head could not fit through my pelvis despite my pushing efforts, he got wedged in there pretty tightly, resulting in my uterus being torn in 3 places during my operation. A few days after LO's birth, I was given the news that I would always be required to have C-sections due to these tears. That was the last time I spoke about it with my doctor and the convo was short and vague. I know I need to go into more detail with her, but I am terrified. I just can't come to terms with the idea of never experiencing a vaginal birth and I really want to try med-free as well with no induction (I feel that if I had waited to labor naturally, my pelvis might have "opened" a little more, allowing LO to fit).
My question is this, if my Dr. sticks to her guns about this C-section thing, should I seek a Dr. that might allow a VBAC or do you think that, since my Dr. witness the surgery and knows exactly what happened, that it would be best to stick with her? I would love to try a doula and try med-free, but I'm so worried my plans will be crushed by the reality that I will be required to have a scheduled C-section.
What do you guys think (Assuming you care deeply about having a vaginal delivery and such)? Second opinion or play it safe?
Re: C-section woes
I understand this completely. I think the fact that I experienced labor helps me cope a little, but I almost feel like a failure as a woman (although I know I am not) due to the fact that I could not do the thing that my body was MADE to do! Its a big issue in my life and I am racked with jealousy every time a friend or relative has that perfect vaginal delivery. I am so sorry you are going through similar emotions and I wish there was something we could do to feel better about it. Its so disheartening how something so amazing and spectacular such as the birth of our children could be looked at in a negative way, but its hard to accept that our dreams of that "perfect birth" will never get a chance to play out.
I will tell you I have similar feelings regarding birth. I was induced at 42 weeks w Caleb and had a 28 hour induction, which led to an epidural and vacuum and episiotomy.
We knew Hunter was going to be larger than Caleb. I just knew it. The doctors thought he would be 7 or 8 pounds. I insisted on an induction at 40 weeks with Hunter and had a really good contraction pattern for the entire time. However after 20hours I was a 4 station and only 1.5cm and Hunters heart rate was doing funny stuff so we went to csection. Hunter had the cord wrapped around his torso and was essentially bungee jumping on my cervix w each contraction, sunny side up and "large for gestational age"
Hunter was 9lb 1oz at 40w1day. Caleb was 7lb 8oz at 42w.
I too am really disappointed that I will never know a real contraction or med free birth. BUT I have two healthy boys and I'm healthy. There are no medals in childbirth
Andplusalso, my OB RN friends say a RCS is an easier recovery versus an emergent CS bc you're not exhausted and contracting
What just happened in my diaper?!
I love this thank you. I will have a RCS as well because I didn't open past 6 with 24 hours of active labor. I love a nurse's medical point of view though.
Married: 5/21/05 **~** Emery Aylin 6/30/12
BFP#1-11/5/10- Surgery for ectopic pregnancy 11/15/10 BFP#2-11/1/11 Due 7/8/12 Born 6/30/12
Oops we did it again... BFP 03/23/14 Due 12/6/14 Nora Born 11/23/14
I would certainly get a second opinion (and third or fourth if necessary). You deserve the chance to have the birth experience you have wanted. There is a section about VBACs in Ina May's Guide to Childbirth that has a lot of good statistics and information in it.
Also, out of curiosity - how big was Kellen? As big as they were estimating? The ACOG does not recommend inductions based on suspected macrosomia, because it doubles the risk of a c-section without improving outcomes for the baby or mother. So TBH, it sounds like your OB is not following evidence-based best practices and that might contribute to the unwillingness to let you try for the VBAC. I would be looking for a new doctor or midwife regardless. GL!
He was 8lb 5 oz, but his head was in the 98th percentile, which was the main issue. I do feel however, that my Dr. was a little pushy about the C-section from the get go. If it weren't for my amazing labor and delivery nurse, I probably wouldn't have been able to push as long as I did (I had to BEG my Dr. to let me keep pushing and she was saying LO's heart rate was fluctuating while my nurse was saying it looked completely normal and not urgent at all) Overall, I'm not in love with my Dr. and have no real attachment to her.
I agonized over my decision to be induced, but I REALLY did not want a C-section and my Dr. seemed to believe that a big baby would pose greater risk of C/S than an induction, and I believed her. I wish now that I had done a little more research, although we will never know whether I would have ended up with a C/S even without an induction.
I try not to dwell on it, and for the most part I don't, but when friends have those smooth vaginal births or any time I think about a second delivery, I get pretty emotional.
Thank you for this! Now I am in tears sitting at my desk, but they are happy tears. You are right. The outcome is a healthy baby which is all I ever truly wanted and I should try to remember that more often.
I am so sorry to hear about your struggles and I am glad to hear you have found peace with everything you have been through. Reading your words has really inspired me to stop questioning "what if" and just let go and let God, which I often forget to do.
Again, your beautifully written words have truly touched me and thank you for sharing your struggles.
Your situation seems like it may be unique. From what I read they recommend repeat C/S because they believe the scar tissue is weaker and may lead to rupture of the uterus. While this can happen it is unlikely and many women do have safe VBACs. However, it sounds like you had some additional tearing during your procedure which means that you have multiple areas that may have scar tissue and be weaker. This could create a problem and I can see why a doctor would be hesitant doing a VBAC in that situation. I think you need to talk to your doctor about where you tore and what exactly they did to correct it. After you have this information I think you should get a second opinion as many doctors just do not want to do VBACs. It may be that you are a candidate for a VBAC but that your current OB does not do them. It is sad that once the baby comes out many of the doctors/nurses just gloss over what you went through and what happened to your body. I really wish they would tell us more about postpartum recovery and what to expect.
ETA: I agree with all the PPs especially msrek. She said some very wise words!
That was the sweet thing I've read. I love your disposition and attitude :
Thanks for posting this, lewispm. I also had a C-section after visions of a vaginal birth. I however, LOVE my doc and practice, but they don't do VBACs. I am terribly torn about whether to stay with a practice I love and guarantee another section, or potentially move to another and attempt a VBAC. I have a consult with my OB next month to even see if I'm a good candidate before I begin talking to other practices in my area.
I also could not think about Thomas' birth without being upset for a long time (for a variety of reasons), so I can understand on that point too. He was a surprise section - I labored at home to 7cms before we went to the hospital and we discovered he was breech. My water had broken, and there was concern that he would go into distress if we tried to flip him. I was primarily disappointed because I felt like I was so close to delivering vaginally, and yet was unable to follow through.
It can definitely be hard to reconcile that things didn't go the way they were "supposed to", and yet you have a beautiful healthy baby. In the moment I made the decision, I was not upset at all, since I felt it was the right decision for the health of myself and my baby based on the advice of a doctor I fully trusted. But, like you, I still want the experience of vaginal birth.
No point to this, except to say that you are not alone!
Before and during my pregnancy with my DD, I researched and got recommendations for her arrival. All of them said RCS due to the lack of info on vbacs with extensions. During my pregnancy those feelings from my first LD were gone and I was just so excited to meet our new baby.
I went into labor before my scheduled date and showed up at the hospital at 8cm...within two hours. They rushed me back to the OR because of my uterine extensions.
Everything went great and the best part, my OB said my uterus looked great and if I ever wanted to have a third I could vba2c. So, find a vbac friendly doc and review your operative report. Your extensions may not prohibit your chances. Good luck.
Oh, I do agree with this - I wouldn't suggest she try for a VBAC no matter what cost. What I meant by getting a third and fourth opinion was to just talk to several doctors about her specific situation and see what they would do or recommend for her, like you said. I would want opinions from more than one or two doctors before making such a big decision.
You are being so hard on yourself.
Even if you did wait for it to happen naturally you still possibly would've needed a C-section.
Here was my similar experience: Labor started naturally(med-free) for 43 hours. After that since no progress was made past 5cm(which is the measurement I went into the hospital with 20 hours prior) an epidural was suggested to loosen me up so I wasn't so tense from back labor pain.
Well it worked. I got to 10 cm within the hour and pushed for 2 hours. Ended up with a C-section because LO was wedged and was not descending past 0 station. .
So sometimes even induction free labors end in C-sections.
If it means a lot to you to have a vaginal delivery next time, then Im sure you could. A new doctor who is comfortable with vbac might be needed though. Im torn myself about trying for a vbac next-time but honestly since my stomach already looks like a war zone I may schedule a section.
In the end, do what you are comfortable with, research it and go for it! But don't second guess your decision--because you did the best you could for your LO!