Dads & Dads-to-be

Husband not ready for baby...help!

So we've been married for 8 months, together for nearly 7 years, about to buy a home next month and now unexpectedly pregnant. We have our first appointment tomorrow, but it looks like I'm between 9 and 10 weeks. I've feeling good, have to eat every 3 hours or I start to feel nausea but once I eat I'm fine. I have friends who have been/are sick throughout so much of their pregnancies and I'm feeling really lucky that this is going so smooth. So my concern is, husband and I are planning a talk tomorrow after doctor to discuss everything and I know that he feels that we are not ready, not financially stable, and this is not a good time for this to happen.  I work, he is a student currently, we will be fine with the house but it may be a little tight starting in January because he will not longer have his GI Bill money to help with our expenses. People have raised children with far less though and I have very supportive parents nearby. I just don't know how to make him feel comfortable with this gigantic change in our lives. I just want to be able to feel happy about this, and so far its been a big secret until we can see the doctor and discuss it. 

Re: Husband not ready for baby...help!

  • Have you posted this on your BMB?  The women there would probably be able to give you better advice than we would.

    That being said, any first time Dad is going to feel nervous about a pregnancy since it's such a major life change.  Start trying to save money by cutting out frivolous expenses such as eating out, cable TV, etc.  

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  • Map out your expenses. Get a solid game plan. I also bought my DH a frame that says " No one loves me like my Dad" and put an ultrasound picture in it. He was tickled pink! Like the PP said, cut the needless expenses.

    My DH was worried about being able to afford children, house, cars, etc. and his Grandmother said to him, "If your Grandpa and I had waited to have children until we could afford them, we would never have had children."

     Keep your head up and try to keep him as involved as possible. I know that's a hard thing to do this early on, but him being actively involved should bring him around in no time.

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  • If people waited until they could afford kids, there would never be most of us.

    Budget.  Cut expenses.  Look into whether or not you may qualify for any short term assistance.  My wife was "let go" of her job when she was pregnant with our first, so we survived on one salary and unemployment with a relatively new house and a baby... it can be done.

    As far as being comfortable with the massive change, that is something that will come with time.

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