Working Moms

Short daycare naps? No night time sleep (xp post)

I posted this in Sepetember as well (different title) - but I thought maybe I'd get a better response here.

So my nine month old is SUPER social.  SHE LOVES DAYCARE and I'm so happy.. but.. she needs more then 2 twenty minute naps in a 6.5 hour period at "school" because its KILLING her nighttime sleep (and thus mine)

We've been working on "sleep training" for 2 weeks and so I'm not going in to tend to her hardly at all - but she is still waking up a ton (last night it was at least 5-6 times) - yes she settles herself back down... for a while.. but we are both still waking up (me when I hear her)

I've talked to daycare and they are at a loss - she just is too excited to play with friends to sleep.  

Anyone have ideas on how to get her to nap longer at school OR how to handle evenings / night time to help her sleep better?  (I pick up between 3:30 - 4:00 and she normally takes a 40 minutes to 2 hour nap when she gets home) 

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Re: Short daycare naps? No night time sleep (xp post)

  • I think sometimes kids go through sleep phases at that age and it could be completely unrelated to daycare.  That being said, I subscribe to the theory that "sleep begets sleep" and the better my kids nap, the better they sleep in general. 

    What time does she wake up from her evening nap?  What time does she go to bed for the night?  Do you go in to sooth her at night or does she self-sooth?

    How does she nap on weekends?  Can daycare lay her down for "quiet time" at designated times to mimic the weekend schedule?

  • She naps three times from 40120 minutes each on the weekends... I pick her up between 330/400 from school and she sleeps anywhere between 40120 mins then or shortly after she then goes to bed between 730/830 she sleeps in the morning until 730/830 as well.

    Nighttime I stopped nursing to sleep 10 days ago and she puts herself down with minimal fuss after lounging in bed for a bit alone. At night she self soothes 95 percent of the time but sometimes only sleeps for 1020 mins before re rewaking... If it's after 330 am I nurse her as I leave at 6am and she's not ready to give up that feed

    On the weekends she'll sleep until 430 with maybe one fuss.. Well not Friday night but sat / sun if she's gotten her naps and we weren't running around like crazy
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  • I should mention this had been going on for over a month
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  • Does she nap like this at home too?

    My DD was very similar when she started daycare.  She would take maybe 4 -10 minute cat naps as she was so interested in everything else going on.  Or she wouldn't nap all day and then crash at 3:30-4 and still be sleeping when we got her at 5:30.  Then would be a pill about going to bed as she wasn't tired.  Finally her teacher suggested around 9-10 months that maybe they should start having her sleep when the toddlers did since everything would be quiet.  It worked she then started sleeping 2-3 hours from about 11-3.  We just couldn't allow her to fall asleep on the way home from daycare and then she went to bed early and slept great.  Now she still took her 2 naps at home but we had to make sure that afternoon nap wasn't too late otherwise she wouldn't want to go to bed.

    I would ask her teachers what they think would work best at school to try and get her to nap longer than 20 minutes.  Trust me they want her to nap as much as you do. Good luck.

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  • At that age, DS was napping once a day for 20 minutes at daycare.  Things improved 100% when he went to the toddler room at 17 months... he now naps 2 hours a day.  In his case, his nighttime sleep was never affected by the lack of naps except that he went to bed REALLY early.
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  • I would get rid of the nap after you get home or make sure it's really short, like 20 minutes. That seems like too much sleep too close to bedtime.
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  • I think you need to drop the nap when you get home. My DS only did 2 naps a day starting around 9 months old and that helped improve sleep (although it didn't really get 100% better until he went to the toddler program with 1 2 hr. nap a day). I think dropping the evening nap will be painful but will help her sleep better at night and at daycare.
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  • image tas1883:

    Does she nap like this at home too?

    My DD was very similar when she started daycare.  She would take maybe 4 -10 minute cat naps as she was so interested in everything else going on.  Or she wouldn't nap all day and then crash at 3:30-4 and still be sleeping when we got her at 5:30.  Then would be a pill about going to bed as she wasn't tired.  Finally her teacher suggested around 9-10 months that maybe they should start having her sleep when the toddlers did since everything would be quiet.  It worked she then started sleeping 2-3 hours from about 11-3.  We just couldn't allow her to fall asleep on the way home from daycare and then she went to bed early and slept great.  Now she still took her 2 naps at home but we had to make sure that afternoon nap wasn't too late otherwise she wouldn't want to go to bed.

    I would ask her teachers what they think would work best at school to try and get her to nap longer than 20 minutes.  Trust me they want her to nap as much as you do. Good luck.

     

    Ok - this is what I was going to see if they would be willing to try so thank you - I'm goign to try this.

     

    Other poster - I can't ditch the last nap - she is a NIGHTMARE and going from 2pm to even 7pm is not something she can do on 40 mins of sleep.  When she is home and napping per her normal she takes 3 naps -t he last nap often waking at 6 or 7 - she is always still ready to go down at 8:30 - so thank you - but thats not the issue - its the 2 20 minute naps ALL DAY 

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  • Hm... is there not a set "nap time" for the babies?

    At our daycare, the baby room goes dark at 9:15 and then again at 1 (when the whole building goes dark, because the bigger kids are napping too).  The babies aren't on exactly the same schedule, but they tend to fall into those nap times, because there's nothing else going on.  They also tend to sleep really well, because they're in a room of sleeping kids.

    If they don't do that in the infant room where you are, but do it with the toddlers, PP's suggestion to move her in there for naptime might be great -- I think "sleep peer pressure" is a real thing with babies/kids.

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  • Yup - infant room is on demand - so noise level the same thorughout the day and mwf they have a set of twins that just by virtue of numbers create more noise and I can see it in the naps those days.
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  • image opaque1997:
    Yup - infant room is on demand - so noise level the same thorughout the day and mwf they have a set of twins that just by virtue of numbers create more noise and I can see it in the naps those days.
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  • image opaque1997:
    Yup - infant room is on demand - so noise level the same thorughout the day and mwf they have a set of twins that just by virtue of numbers create more noise and I can see it in the naps those days.

    My kids never would have napped in an environment like that at 9 months.  I'm surprised any baby can!  Can you band together with the other parents and demand a schedule?  At least for ONE nap a day?

    At our school, if there is a kid or two who for some reason is really off schedule (like getting ready for a transition to the next class) they just take that kid for a walk or to play in the gym or something while the other babies are having lights out.

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  • image Iblamethebeer:

    image opaque1997:
    Yup - infant room is on demand - so noise level the same thorughout the day and mwf they have a set of twins that just by virtue of numbers create more noise and I can see it in the naps those days.

    My kids never would have napped in an environment like that at 9 months.  I'm surprised any baby can!  Can you band together with the other parents and demand a schedule?  At least for ONE nap a day?

    At our school, if there is a kid or two who for some reason is really off schedule (like getting ready for a transition to the next class) they just take that kid for a walk or to play in the gym or something while the other babies are having lights out.

     

    Well the room 'rules' are on demand sleep / eat - but of course I know for my baby they don't do that - because the constantly say - well she seems to go three hours so we are trying for four.. (Sigh) - but I doubt asking for "scheduled quiet time" will do anything.. but I might be able to win with the toddler room since they'll have to move her over there eventually and the room is NEXT DOOR (they share a wall and conjoining door) - so it would be minimal - I worry about the short term - she doesn't know the room, teachers, etc - but that would be short term and really just start the transition.. so...  

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  • Grr daycare won't do it because of age and licensing and teacher ratio
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  • JJ_13JJ_13
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    image opaque1997:
    Yup - infant room is on demand - so noise level the same thorughout the day and mwf they have a set of twins that just by virtue of numbers create more noise and I can see it in the naps those days.
  • JJ_13JJ_13
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    image JJ_13:
    image opaque1997:
    Yup - infant room is on demand - so noise level the same thorughout the day and mwf they have a set of twins that just by virtue of numbers create more noise and I can see it in the naps those days.
    Not exactly the same situation, but similar - our LO is not super social, but is very determined, observant, and fights sleep. When we started daycare (also an on-demand setting), it was the same situation - maybe 1 - 2 20 min naps ALL DAY LONG. It was an absolute nightmare. They would rock her to sleep, get her to sleep, lay her down, and she would wake right up. Over and over. After 6 miserable weeks, we found a wonderful in-home care option with just one other baby. Her sleep is still crappy, but it's a ton better than it was. I realize this isn't totally helpful, but sticking with the no-daytime-sleep just wasn't an option for us b/c LO would be a complete and utter wreck when picked up from daycare and I could tell she just was miserable all the time. It made me so sad.
  • image JJ_13:
    image JJ_13:
    image opaque1997:
    Yup - infant room is on demand - so noise level the same thorughout the day and mwf they have a set of twins that just by virtue of numbers create more noise and I can see it in the naps those days.
    Not exactly the same situation, but similar - our LO is not super social, but is very determined, observant, and fights sleep. When we started daycare (also an on-demand setting), it was the same situation - maybe 1 - 2 20 min naps ALL DAY LONG. It was an absolute nightmare. They would rock her to sleep, get her to sleep, lay her down, and she would wake right up. Over and over. After 6 miserable weeks, we found a wonderful in-home care option with just one other baby. Her sleep is still crappy, but it's a ton better than it was. I realize this isn't totally helpful, but sticking with the no-daytime-sleep just wasn't an option for us b/c LO would be a complete and utter wreck when picked up from daycare and I could tell she just was miserable all the time. It made me so sad.

    Well though not helpful - it is nice to know others have had the same problem and that in itself is helpful.  I"m really struggling and support from my husband on the nighttime sleep issues is not there and that is hard too - daycare is more like - well she's happy here.. (she is so social that she is super happy all day - and then falls apart later at home)

    Switching is not relaly an option and I keep repeating 3 more months - 3 more months and she will be in the toddler room.. and I keep hoping that maybe some how some way the night time sleep will just click for her and she'll start sleeping through... maybe? 

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  • No real solutions, but lots of sympathy. LO was the same in the infant room as he constantly wanted to be involved in whatever was going on. Often LO would fall asleep on the evening commute home at 5:30 and sleep until 7 at which point I'd wake him up, nurse him and put him back to bed at 8.

    Moving to the pre-toddler room was wonderful and suddenly LO is taking 2.5 hour naps daily.

  • Well yesterday I met with her doctor (well visit) and the daycare after that - doctor has referred us to a sleep specialist and says we are doing everything she would recommend.  We have that appt set for a week form Monday.  I'm hoping to cancel - but we'll see.

    I talked to daycare and they have agreed to put her in the crib and tell her night night - and then leave her there.  They will obviously adjust her and hand her binky back - but not pat her or interact with her - they did this yesterday and she took one 35 minute nap and one 25 minute nap - its MINOR but that means she got 20 more minutes of sleep.. of course last night was just as bad.. but then again she was coughing, snotting, etc so maybe it was because she's getting sick?

    I'm tired.. so tired. 

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  • DS is ten months old and LOVES to play at school.  We're lucky if he comes home with an hour nap under his belt.  We just know that that's how it works M-F.

    We have a rule that he can't take a nap after 4PM or it kills his sleep.  He's usually in bed around 6:30 and STTN.  That last nap might be killing it for you. 



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  • We are wondering if that last nap is killing her - but Tuesday we had company over and thus she did not take much of a last nap (20 mins maybe?) and it was the WORST NIGHT EVER.  So I'm hesitant to try it - she's ready for a nap at 4pm and so to try and stretch her even until 6 seems like it would be worse - She's a cranky nasty mess at 4 most days.. (so last nap I'm not saying like 6 or anything - we get home early)

    I'm trying to make sure she's in bed going to sleep 2 hours after she gets up from last nap - so basically wake - 2 hour - nap- wake 2 hour - nap.. etc.. and see if that helps.. but we are wondering about that last nap too..  

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