February 2013 Moms

Need advice-4 month sleep regression kicking my butt. Bedsharers- come in!!

Hi all! Please forgive if this post is a rambling mess-I'm super sleep deprived.  My wee one must be in the midst of the dreaded 4 month sleep regression

Before the regressions: She'd sleep 6-7 hours (from around 8-2am), waking for a quick meal then back to bed until 4-5am, quick awake and back down until around 6:30am. 

Now, she's asleep by 8. Awake at 10:30pm to eat. Awake again at 1:30am-typically for around 2.5 hrs. She eats and fusses a bit during this time. Then asleep for another hour or so until she wants the boob again.

She's on and off the boob all night. We have been co-sleeping up to this point in the RnP (now the PnP) in our room. But we've started bedsharing because of her non-stop desire to be next to me. (If I don't lay down with her, I'd be awake AND out of bed. At least I can be awake in bed, right?!) 

I'm really not sure what to do! I'm concerned that I'm developing a really bad sleep habit with her nursing at will during the night (adamwife- I'm looking at you! :-) )  but I'm not ready to move her into her own room yet. I'd really prefer her to sleep in her pack and plan (in our room) but if I try and put her in there, she wakes up and gets pissed.  She's not even really "nursing"- she's just comfort suckling. 

I've been trying to get her to use the paci to help go back to sleep but she just winds up pushing it out in an effort to get her hand in her mouth and then she gets upset.

She's 19 weeks. I'm not sure what to do! Anyone with experience with this- what did you do?

I should add this regression has been going on for nearly 2 weeks now. Hoping it will end soon before too many bad habits set in!

TIA! 


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Re: Need advice-4 month sleep regression kicking my butt. Bedsharers- come in!!

  • Sounds very similar to us. Some nights are better than others, Some nights are absolutely awful (Sat to Sun she was up every 30-45 min fussing, not wanting to drink, not able to fall back asleep). It's been going on for 5 weeks now and is a bit better than at the beginning of the wakeful, but still nowhere near how great she was sleeping before that. I hope yours is over faster.

    BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
    BFP2: 3/18/12, blighted ovum, natural m/c @ 7w4d
    BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence

  • That was life with DS1 for about 8 months.  It was rough.  It is probably easier to try to help her find other self-soothing methods now than it will be 3 or 4 months from now when it's a fully ingrained sleep association.  I won't suggest that you refuse to let her nurse, but maybe you can let her nurse just for a second and then pop her off and offer a pacifier?  Or try getting up and bouncing, jiggling, or rocking her.  I feel your pain and sleepiness.  I do.  I am not cut out for CIO and my high-needs first baby just would. not. accept. anything other than the breast for comfort.  
    Missed m/c discovered 3/15/12 at 8w2d: "Henry."

    imageView Full Size Image
    Jack 04/29/10 dairy peanut and seasonal allergies; Sensory Processing Disorder, Autism
    Rhys 01/25/13 Peanut and tree nut allergy, MSPI
    Lilypie - (cF7R) Lilypie - (Phka)

    "We are in Buckingham Palace, the very heart of the British nation.  Sherlock Holmes, put your trousers ON!"

  • image DC2London:
    That was life with DS1 for about 8 months.  It was rough.  

    What did you wind up doing to break the cycle?

    Thanks for the suggestions- I will give it a shot! I'm going to grab the Ferber book and see if maybe that will be a good plan for us. I do want to get some sleep training in before object permanence sets in so I have about a month or so (hopefully!)

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  • image somebuddiesgettingmarried:

    image DC2London:
    That was life with DS1 for about 8 months.  It was rough.  

    What did you wind up doing to break the cycle?

    Thanks for the suggestions- I will give it a shot! I'm going to grab the Ferber book and see if maybe that will be a good plan for us. I do want to get some sleep training in before object permanence sets in so I have about a month or so (hopefully!)

    I thought it was best to wait with sleep training until after object permanence? Before, if you're gone then they don't understand you're just in the next room. After, they can start to understand that they may be alone in the room, but you're right next door and will come back. Or am I wrong?


    BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
    BFP2: 3/18/12, blighted ovum, natural m/c @ 7w4d
    BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence

  • As you know, I'm in the same boat.  What I'm doing right now to try to nip this in the bud is not ever let her nurse to sleep during the day.  I'm actually trying to keep her awake during nursing sessions during the day, even waking her up after she is done eating sometimes.  Then I am developing a routine where I wrap her in the same blankie and rock her back to sleep.  I'm hoping that by breaking the nurse-to-sleep association during the day we can help at night.

    I've also been trying to put her down in her crib for the night the last two nights.  The crib is still in my room (actually right next to my bed) and she's been staying in there for the first two hour stretch.  Then she comes to bed with me for the rest of the night.  I keep hoping that eventually she will lengthen that first stretch a little longer.

    Also, when she is waking through the night I am letting her fuss for a few minutes before feeding her.  I let her wriggle around and make grunting noises for a while and I put my hand on her back and shush her.  Every once in a while it works and she falls asleep without needing to nurse.  Maybe if I keep that up she will learn she doesn't need to eat every couple of hours.

    But don't take my advice.  I raise terrible sleepers.  You should probably do the opposite of everything I say when it comes to sleep.  lol

        
  • image somebuddiesgettingmarried:

    image DC2London:
    That was life with DS1 for about 8 months.  It was rough.  

    What did you wind up doing to break the cycle?

    Thanks for the suggestions- I will give it a shot! I'm going to grab the Ferber book and see if maybe that will be a good plan for us. I do want to get some sleep training in before object permanence sets in so I have about a month or so (hopefully!)

    Butting in.  The only way I broke the cycle with my middle two was to do sleep training.  Usually I start it when they are close to a year.  I do night weaning with them at that point.  It means a lot of getting up with them and rocking them back to sleep or doing other stuff to try to take their mind of wanting to nurse.  I also usually introduce a paci to them at that point to help with the transition.  It worked well for DD1.

        
  • image +adamwife+:
    image somebuddiesgettingmarried:

    image DC2London:
    That was life with DS1 for about 8 months.  It was rough.  

    What did you wind up doing to break the cycle?

    Thanks for the suggestions- I will give it a shot! I'm going to grab the Ferber book and see if maybe that will be a good plan for us. I do want to get some sleep training in before object permanence sets in so I have about a month or so (hopefully!)

    Butting in.  The only way I broke the cycle with my middle two was to do sleep training.  Usually I start it when they are close to a year.  I do night weaning with them at that point.  It means a lot of getting up with them and rocking them back to sleep or doing other stuff to try to take their mind of wanting to nurse.  I also usually introduce a paci to them at that point to help with the transition.  It worked well for DD1.

    We finally did Ferber at 13 months.  Nobody was ready for it before then.  I know it would have been harder on DS than it was worth, and DH and I weren't committed enough to the cause before that point to be able to let him cry.  At 13 months we felt like we were all in a place where we could handle it--even though it SUCKED--and it did work.  Because he was my first baby, and I SAH, I was able to do whatever he needed during that first year, even if it meant lying in bed with him while he took a long afternoon nap.   

    Missed m/c discovered 3/15/12 at 8w2d: "Henry."

    imageView Full Size Image
    Jack 04/29/10 dairy peanut and seasonal allergies; Sensory Processing Disorder, Autism
    Rhys 01/25/13 Peanut and tree nut allergy, MSPI
    Lilypie - (cF7R) Lilypie - (Phka)

    "We are in Buckingham Palace, the very heart of the British nation.  Sherlock Holmes, put your trousers ON!"

  • We have the arms reach mini cosleeper...I like it because I can be literally right beside her, can even sleep with my hand on her if needed (not in awhile)...but she is still learning to sleep in her own space. They make a full size one too. You could check that out. I am so sorry and hope it gets better soon!

    We are so thankful that our second daughter, Lillian Elizabeth "Lily", was born healthy and happy on February 11, 2013.  We love her to pieces.  

    We lost our first daughter, Hannah Grace on May 4, 2011.  She was buried on May 14 during a beautiful service at my home church. We are grateful that if she could not be here with us, that she is healed and whole with the Lord. We look forward to the day when we will get to meet her. We love her so much.


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