January 2013 Moms

I need some supportVent!

My cousin watches DD once a week. Let me start off by saying she's the family drama queen. Usually we all just ignore her when she's on a roll but now she's gone way too far. Her and a few other family members have been pressuring me to start cereal as early as 4 weeks! I told them I discussed it with the pedi and did the research and had decided to skip cereal and wait on solids until she seemed ready. They think I'm crazy and the doctors don't know anything. Last Thursday she texted me saying she had bought some food to have for DD the next day. I politely told her to hold off as we were slowly introducing solids in a certain order to keep on top of any allergies or bad reactions. She said she got applesauce and there was no way she would be allergic.

Fast forward to Friday night. She posted on FB asking everyone's advice on when to start solids. Some agreed with her and some thought later was better. I didn't plan to comment until she wrote that my pedi told me I couldn't start until 6 months and she was crazy. Also that my baby was hungry and should be fed! I commented and clarified what my pedi really said and that I hoped my family would respect my parenting decisions. She then started texting me nonstop about how bad of a parent I am and how my whole family thinks I'm starving my child. Long story short I told her she didn't have to agree with me but she had to respect my decision or she would no longer be able to watch her. Then she sent me a video of her feeding DD against my wishes!!!

I thought we had settled it but tonight she started again and said I wasn't ready to be a mother and it was a pitiful shame that I'm harming her by being selfish and not feeding her and that my whole family agrees with her! I have never been so hurt in my life. There's a lot more she said that I don't have room to type Please tell me I'm not crazy for starting slow on solids and skipping cereal.
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Re: I need some supportVent!

  • You are making an informed decision about solids. You're doing a good job

    Your cousin should not be allowed to watch LO again. She is disrespectful.
    Who blatantly disregards a parent's explicit instruction AND takes away a first?!?!
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  • mjmbmjmb
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    You are making an informed decision about solids. You're doing a good job Your cousin should not be allowed to watch LO again. She is disrespectful. Who blatantly disregards a parent's explicit instruction AND takes away a first?!?! Find new child care

     

    Totally this! I would be so livid if someone disregarded MY wishes for MY child. These would be major deal breaking issues in my opinion. I'd never let her watch LO again.

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  • Tell your cousin when she has a baby she can make those choices and *** such questions on fb. For nowyou need her to support your voices as a parent. Set a boundary. Good luck, family can be hard to manage. My pedi told me feeding before six months can heighten instances of food allergies and asthma. Maybe give her some facts to help her understand. Also tell her how much your baby weighs and that the peso is not concerned about lo weight gain.
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  • That makes me mad, I can't believe someone would do that! I think I would have found new child care when the drama started. Like PP said she needs to respect your wishes and taking that "first" away from you is wrong. You said you did your research and talked to the pediatrician that should have been enough.
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  • image loreeann86:
    That makes me mad, I can't believe someone would do that! I think I would have found new child care when the drama started. Like PP said she needs to respect your wishes and taking that "first" away from you is wrong. You said you did your research and talked to the pediatrician that should have been enough.


    All of this, and I will even argue that you should not have to back up your decision. You are the parent and it's your family's problem if they don't like your decisions. You don't owe them an explanation.

    I'm so shocked and hurt for you. I can't believe anyone would do this to a cousin...I hope you find a good replacement childcare person, and I'd make it known to everyone who participated in the drama that they are "on watch" with LO.
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  • I would be effing pissed and she would NEVER watch my kid again. She does have to respect your wishes. Not only did she do something you said absolutely no to, she robbed you of a first with your child.

    And how hard is it to google "when should baby start solids?" and see that the recommendation of pediatricians is 6 months? If this woman thinks doctors are quacks, she shouldn't be left with an infant.

     

  • Oh my goodness. I would be furious. 1st of all it's your child and you are the only one allowed to make the parenting decisions, period.

    2nd of all how rude of her to post your business on Facebook! Crazy.

    We are totally skipping cereal too by the way. My sister is a peditrician and supports that decision and that we're waiting until 6 months.

    Sorry she's such a pain and it may be time to start new child care!


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  • My jaw almost hit the floor when I read this!  Your cousin has a lot of nerve to a) try to tell you how to raise your own child (does she even have one of her own?) b) go against your wishes c) make your baby do something she wasn't developmentally ready for and d) take away a first!  I could go on.  I would be livid.  I AM livid for you!  I would say absolutely never again let her watch your baby. The fact that she put this on facebook...just seriously, what is wrong with some people?

    PS: your daughter is absolutely gorgeous and looks very happy and healthy to me!


     

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  • [Insert shocked face here]

    She way, waaaaay crossed the line.  If it were me she would not be watching my child again.  I would never be comfortable with someone providing care for my child that goes against my wishes that way.  Also, I would be mad as hell.  

    And no, you're not crazy.  Not only that, even IF the recommended time to start was earlier (it's not) it's YOUR child and YOUR decision to make.  This might be a different issue if a decision you were making was putting your child in harm's way, but something like this?  WTF? 

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  • You are absolutely correct that it is your decision when your DD can start solids. I would not allow your cousin to watch her EVER again and I would also inform the family if they do not respect your wishes they will not be allowed to be alone with your DD every again. I would be livid if that ever happened....you are not crazy, you are not starving your baby....she took something away from you that you will never get back...your DD's first bite of food. I'd be sooooooo angry. 

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  • I would be livid. I can't believe she took that first away from you. I would also never let her watch your DD ever again. And posting on Facebook? How juvenile. It almost makes you wonder what else she has done without your knowledge or concent.
    I'm so sorry you are going through all this.
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  • Feel free to slap that woman. I promise you will get kuddos! Find new child care and cut her off from LO entirely until she learns to respect you wishes. Any one messes with me when it comes to my kid like that theres hell to pay
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  • Thanks everyone for your support. Sometimes it feels like you guys along with DH and another cousin are the only ones who understand my decision. She will most definitely not be watching DD ever again! I knew she was a drama queen but now I know she's just crazy!

    When I explain my reasons to them they think I'm nuts because they fed us cereal and we turned out ok. I try to point out how many more kids have severe allergies, diabetes, and obesity issues but they just don't get it. When I ask why they are so adamant I start now they say "we did it" and "she's hungry". Well, give her more formula! How hard is that?

    Thanks for letting me vent!

    PS I love seeing all your LO's on Instagram!
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  • jcar2jcar2
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    I am horrified. What your cousin did was beyond wrong. I would most definitely find new childcare. Feeding your LO solids when you said no would be a huge problem. She should respect yor wishes as a parent and realize that everyone parents differently. But then to make a post on FB and make a video of your LO eating? I would go ballistic. I probably wouldn't even talk to that cousin again if it were me.
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  • Also, she does have a 7 yr old that was apparently the perfect child that never cried because she ate cereal at 4 weeks. She never cried when she cut a tooth. She never cried if she was overtired. Either she's lying or she had a robot baby! I know she cried because I babysat her all the time SMH
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  • Oh my blood is boiling and it is not even my child!!!! What she did is was extremely disrespect full no matter what her thoughts are that is your child. I would definatly not let her watch you LO. I can't even imagine what I would do in this situation - it would not be pleasant and I am very peaceful person but a hug line was just crossed. I did start my LO on solids at 4.5 months but that was my decision - she took that decision away from you. You obviously know you are not starving your child - milk provides the primary nutrition until 1 year.  Oh my you are a better women than me.  I hope you get this resolved soon.


  • b0710b0710
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    image mjmb:

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    You are making an informed decision about solids. You're doing a good job

    Your cousin should not be allowed to watch LO again. She is disrespectful.
    Who blatantly disregards a parent's explicit instruction AND takes away a first?!?!
    Find new child care

     

    Totally this! I would be so livid if someone disregarded MY wishes for MY child. These would be major deal breaking issues in my opinion. I'd never let her watch LO again.


    Yep! I agree with all of this! I would be really angry and not trust her to watch LO anymore. If she won't listen to you about this, what else might she do behind your back?
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  • I'm sorry this happened to you. I agree you need to find new child care. You are making an informed decision based on your own research and your doctor's advice and your family needs to back off! Her behavior is really BSC ... sorry. Not following your wishes and then filming it is so disrespectful. I would not feel comfortable leaving my child with anyone who so blatantly disobeyed my wishes for how I want my child raised. I'm mad for you!

    Also, I don't get the argument of the baby is starving. DS eats 30oz of formula (600 calories!) every day and he is perfectly healthy and if he was starving he would certainly tell me!  


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  • Oh my goodness, this pains me to read this!  I am so sorry that you had to go through that.  Shame on your family for not supporting and loving you the way a family should!

     

    Stick to your intuitions and research and stand up for what you know is right for your baby girl.  She looks like she is doing great with what you have been doing.  I hope you have good luck finding a respectable new daycare option for her!

     

    Good luck, and know that I'm thinking about you! :-)

     



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  • image goocran7:
    they fed us cereal and we turned out ok.

    I hate this line of reasoning.  Just because I slept on my tummy and didn't die of SIDS doesn't mean that we should do it with DD.  You are completely justified.  If it was me, heads would be rolling.

     

  • I am so angry for you! I cannot even imagine someone going behind a mother's back and blatantly disrespecting their wishes! And then to take away that first for you! Studies show to wait until they're 6 months or until the PARENT feels comfortable and ready to start after 4 months of age, and you do not need to start on cereal. I would never let her watch your child again, and shame on the rest of your family for not supporting your parenting decisions. My sister does a lot of things that I personally don't agree with when it comes to her children... but they're not my children, I have no say, and neither does the rest of your family. Stand your ground, they need to learn their boundaries now. Good Luck! You're doing a great job! Hang in there!
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  • I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt and am pretty forgiving but she absolutely crossed the line and then on top of that was spiteful showing you a video. If the same situation happened to me, not only would she no longer watch my child, she would no longer be able to hold or talk to my child ever. I am totally baffled that someone could be so ignorant and plain out mean and disrespectful. She is completely insane to think you are starving your child. I would even venture to even say she is a terrible person. 





  • You are not crazy. Pull your child from her care, delete her from FB, and never talk to her again. How dare she post you are a bad mom in FB?
  • mj0011mj0011
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    Yikes!  keep your baby far from that woman.  Also she sounds dumb.

  • You are NOT crazy.. I am furious just reading this, the thought of someone, anyone, but ESPECIALLY a family member blatantly disregarding my wishes where my LO is concerned, and being so spiteful as to not only take away a first from me, but then have the audacity to send a video of them doing it? I would seriously lose it at that point. I would NEVER let her watch your LO again if it were me.. I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. I have no clue how i would keep from hitting someone that did this to me and my baby. Good luck doll, i hope this works out for you. 
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  • Is your cousin 15? I'm not even joking. This is the behavior of a teenager, not an adult. Get new childcare, don't think twice, and don't look back.
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  • Your cousin is a b!tch. 
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  • My chin hit the floor when I read that! I can't believe she would give your child food against your wishes. You shouldn't let her watch your DD anymore. My goodness what is wrong with people!? Thank goodness she didn't have a reaction to whatever she gave her.
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