May 2012 Moms

Agonizing over day care decision! wwyd...

I'm looking for opinions on what to do for day care.  This is complicated to explain...

Currently, day care is split between a nanny (3 days a week), my parents (2 half days) and a daycare center (2 half days).  We were hoping to do the center full time this fall - we like it a lot - but we've recently learned they won't have enough hours available for us. (Only 2 full days available and we're tired of our hodgepodge arrangement).  My parents were going to continue taking him out for 1 day a week or every other week regardless to maintain their relationship. But now we're going to drop out of the center because we're sick of paying $400 a month to basically hold a spot while we wait for it to open up. We hope to get in when he's 2 and the ratios change.

So a 4 day/week spot opened up for a center we've been on the wait list for. We don't like it as much.  It has a good reputation, it's just kind of dark and a little drab feeling.  I'm going to tour again today and stay and watch for a little bit.  I have to decide by tonight whether to take the spot.  

Our alternative is sticking with our nanny (who comes with her 3 year old) until we get in to the center we like better.  We love our nanny but we can only afford 3 days a week.  So my parents would do 2 days a week, which they're willing to do, but it's not their preference.  They're retired and want to travel and prefer less commitment.  When they travel, my husband and I fill in the time and use vacation days.

The nanny is awesome - she cooks us dinner, tidies the house, and LO really likes her.  I'd hate to let her go.  But I also don't want to pass up on this 4 day/week spot that matches my parents' needs better and would probably be fine.  Ack! I'm so stressing out over this  I know it's complicated and just a decision I have to make.  But any insight from anyone would be appreciated!  

Is this nanny or the daycare better for our 1 year old? Thanks.

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Re: Agonizing over day care decision! wwyd...

  • fryratfryrat
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    If you have a daycare you love, it's definitely more enriching. My DC will take DD into the big kid room in the morning, and she plays there, then as more kids come in and the ratios change, she goes to her room. She is also transitioning to the next room up, so she gets a TON of interaction with different people and different toys/books/songs. I really do not think that if someone had her at the house, she would get near the amount of learning opportunities that she does there. I'd keep the nanny for the 1 day a week if you really like her. I would tell the grandparents that they can have time with LO on the weekend, maybe while you do grocery shopping, or even start doing overnights. Something to make the grandparent time even more special than when they sit during the day.
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  • I think it really depends in what your parents truly want. I think a nanny and grandparent time is better than a center. I disagree that the one on one at home is less stimulating than a day care situation.

    My mom and mil do every other Monday with my boys and its SO great for them to have that relationship with my boys. There's lots if time for school but very little time to bond with family and be a baby. Plus if the nanny cooks I doubt she's lazy so I'm sure she's teaching lo a lot.

    Plus day cares open babies up to so many germs!

    But if your parents really only want one day then the daycare is your best option since you don't want them burnt out.
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  • Personally, if I was in your situation I would keep the nanny 3 days a week and use the center you love for the 2 full days a week they offered and wait it out until they open up a fulltime spot for you.

    It sounds like your parents really don't want to be comitted to childcare every week. They will find days here or there to take your DS on special outings etc., but I would let them off the hook on a specific schedule.

  • All good points.  Thanks folks.  We decided to keep our nanny and I feel at peace with the decision. We just couldn't bear to part with her. She's going to cover days for my parents here and there when they need it so I think it will work out in the end. And we'll start daycare by the time LO is 2 hopefully so he'll get all that great socialization in not too long.
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  • Personally, I wouldn't feel comfortable settling with a day care that I wasn't 100 happy with. What exactly is it about the second daycare that you don't like? When you say dark and drab, I imagine like a cabin with very outdated decor, ha, and I'm sure that's not what you were referring to.
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