It's been almost a month since my sweet girl arrived...but I find myself increasingly frustrated/mad/sad about my birth experience. I did not have a birth plan, I had some preferences, but mostly I just trust my medical team and tried to go with the flow- but I feel that there are some things that could've been better and I don't know what to do with these feelings. Write a letter to my OB practice/the hospital? Talk to my doctor at my 6 week check up? Just let it go because I am quite possibly overreacting?
This is pretty much just a vent and I am of course glad that my daughter arrived healthy, I just have these upset thoughts running through my head when I'm up doing these late nursing sessions.
I'm upset that that they pushed pitocin when I was starting to contract on my own only a few hours after my water broke and when I questioned the resident ordering the pit- she informed me that she "feels pitocin gets an unnecessary bad rap". I have a strong feeling that women has never had a Pitocin contraction ripping her body apart.
I'm upset that the pitocin made me progress so fast that my epidural wasn't able to keep up with the pain and that the baby crowned so fast and furious that my perineum didn't have time to stretch properly and I ended up with an episiotomy.
I'm upset that when they gave me cytotec when I was bleeding too heavily after the birth, that they did not inform me that I was going to have major diarrhea for 24 hours after the birth- which I've since found out is a very common side effect and super NOT fun when you've just pushed a baby out and have an episiotomy!
I'm upset that my nurse kept answering her cell phone when her kids were calling. Her power was out at home and they were upset- I get it- family stuff happens- but step out of the room lady. I really needed to feel like your head was in the game and that is not the vibe I was getting. They seriously were calling every time she was in my room.
I'm upset that my baby had a true knot in her cord and that this wasn't detected on any of the four ultrasounds I had. If they'd have known ahead of time, I really should have had a c-section because if I'd not pushed the baby out in 6 pushes, the blood flow to her brain and body could've been severely compromised. I keep questioning if they should've noticed this back when I was admitted to L&D for monitoring at 24 weeks because baby's heart deceled every time I'd lay on my back.
I'm upset that my doctors office never called to check on me 7-10 days after the birth as the OB from the practice discharging me from the hospital told me they would. I guess this is a dumb one- I just called myself to schedule my 6 week follow up...but I feel annoyed they didn't call.
If you made it this far, thanks so much for listening. I know I should just let all this go and that it's just lack of sleep and hormones making me feel so upset.