2nd Trimester

Over stressed! anyone else?

I am almost 26 weeks pregnant, I have a 14 month old VERY active son & a husband who doesn't really do any housework or help with our DS.  On top of this, we have been doing major house renovations & I have been having painful contractions/spotting (it happened with my DS but it's still scary) for about a month.  I feel like I'm treading water to stay alive! I can't stop crying & just want to run away.  Anyone else feeling overwhelmed?? Any advice?  I'm trying to relax but my house is full of dust & contractors all the time. Thank you <3

Re: Over stressed! anyone else?

  • Yes, Sit down with your husband and have a very frank conversation about needing more help around the house and with DS.
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  • image babyLOLO13:
    Yes, Sit down with your husband and have a very frank conversation about needing more help around the house and with DS.
    This. You shouldn't have to do it alone and he shouldn't want you to. If he can't do the help himself, he needs to start paying someone who can.

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  • Hi! I agree with the other posters about talking to your husband, but it also sounds like taking a little time for yourself might be necessary. The way you describe "treading water" is often helped if you can find 15 minutes a day to sit and meditate. I know it sounds silly and it can be really hard, but you might find that after a week of doing this, that it becomes easier. Just sit and practice some diaphragmatic breathing and try to only focus on your breath. If it helps, I think a lot of us feel overwhelmed by something. I don't have another child but I worry about how our cat is going to react to the baby. She's only 2 and was amazingly comforting when i had my miscarriage in February so I obsess over the feelings of guilt I'm sure to have when she gets pushed aside. Also, money, every physical twinge I have, work, etc. It's nice to have this outlet to share your feelings with people. And try to do the meditative breathing outside, away from the dust :) HUGS!
    TTC since 12/12 BFP#1 1.11.13 Natural MC 2.11.13
  • image babyLOLO13:
    Yes, Sit down with your husband and have a very frank conversation about needing more help around the house and with DS.

    This. I can't imagine DH not helping out, especially if I was spotting, etc. He's been gone this week out of the country and feels so bad that I dealt with my bleeding all alone he almost cried on the phone. But if your DH thinks you're handling it, he'll never change. You have to tell him. 

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  • If DH isn't interested in helping, can you hire someone?  There are so many college kids home from school looking for cheap work. She could run errands for you, play with LO, help clean, etc. High school kids are also looking for work since they are out of school. 

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    Mila Francesca born 10/19/13 at 37 weeks via C-Section after 6 years of fertility treatments, disappointments and losses. Love her!!

  • image CateOfChicago:
    If DH isn't interested in helping, can you hire someone? nbsp;There are so many college kids home from school looking for cheap work. She could run errands for you, play with LO, help clean, etc. High school kids are also looking for work since they are out of school.nbsp;


    This. Try to find someone for even an hour or two. Maybe DH will understand how serious you are about needing a break if you're willing to pay for help. Also, maybe you could look into a program for DS where you could leave him for an hour or two.
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  • image Kristybelle:
    I am almost 26 weeks pregnant, I have a 14 month old VERY active son amp; a husband who doesn't really do any housework or help with our DS. nbsp;On top of this, we have been doing major house renovations amp; I have been having painful contractions/spotting it happened with my DS but it's still scary for about a month. nbsp;I feel like I'm treading water to stay alive! I can't stop crying amp; just want to run away. nbsp;Anyone else feeling overwhelmed?? Any advice? nbsp;I'm trying to relax but my house is full of dust amp; contractors all the time. Thank you lt;3
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  • I feel the same way I am 21 weeks I have 15 month old very active twin boys, and my DH works full time. On top of it we are also renovating our house(to make room for baby, although we are big do it your selfers so no contractors), and to make it worse my bff and brother decided to get married, so I had to be the matron of honor... either way I am so stressed I was to just cry, some times to the point of getting sick. My husband tries to help but isn't the best. I have found that talking to him about how I feel and coming up with ideas for how to take some of the stress off. Our newest thing is when he gets home instead of him expecting dinner when he gets home he plays with the boys(he also encourages them to pick up their toys, cause after dinner they have a long bath and then bed) in the living room giving me the freedom to cook in peace. 

  • image babymama619:
    image CateOfChicago:
    If DH isn't interested in helping, can you hire someone? nbsp;There are so many college kids home from school looking for cheap work. She could run errands for you, play with LO, help clean, etc. High school kids are also looking for work since they are out of school.nbsp;
    This. Try to find someone for even an hour or two. Maybe DH will understand how serious you are about needing a break if you're willing to pay for help. Also, maybe you could look into a program for DS where you could leave him for an hour or two.

    It is the time of year for VBS maybe there is one in your area that would allow 14 months old? They are typically free. 


  • I hired a hs student for 2 hrs 3x a week.... She plays with the kids and I nap. It's worth it. Also, ask him to help. I'm so grateful for what mine does and you need a hand too
  • Tell your husband to stop being a useless, lazy lout and help you. Problem solved.
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  • I went through a remodel a few years ago. We kept 1 room untouched. We used plastic sheeting as a divider and it kept the dust away really well. I avoided the work areas bc the dust drove me crazy. 

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    Mila Francesca born 10/19/13 at 37 weeks via C-Section after 6 years of fertility treatments, disappointments and losses. Love her!!

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