In some ways, having 2 is harder than 4.

wifeofadam

My two boys are out of town today with their grandparents. They left last night, so I've had an entire day with only my two little girls. I never realized how much my older boys entertain DD1 for me. It allows me to focus on the baby when I need to. I've always said that my transition from 1 to 2 was the hardest and I think that is why. Once you have two and they are older, they entertain each other when the new baby comes. But when there is only one there and they are still a toddler needing a lot of attention, it makes a lot of work for mom. I really miss my boys right now and can't wait until they get home. Not only are they a huge help, but I miss being able to have a real conversation with another person. Two word answers from a toddler don't count. Hats off to all of you moms of two, especially those with a toddler and baby. It's hard work!!!

kelly321

Good to hear that a third might not be as hard as adding a second. I'm getting my butt kicked right now for exactly the reasons you said - my toddler needs me to entertain her and the baby needs me to care for her.

wifeofadam

DC2London:

So you're telling me I should wait until Jack is 5 to have another one?

When I had #3 the boys were 2 and 3.5 and it was a breeze. They played together and I focused on the baby.

NG2HD

Wow.  What a funny way to look at it - I would have never thought that! 

tiffanyp

Do you really think going from 1-2 was harder than 0-1? I definitely found 0-1 to be a LOT harder, although my second baby is far easier than my first was.

I'm definitely thinking that I'll wait a bit longer for #3 (if there's a #3 anyway...) than I did for #2. It would be nice if the older two could entertain each other. 

wifeofadam

tiffanyp:

Do you really think going from 1-2 was harder than 0-1? I definitely found 0-1 to be a LOT harder, although my second baby is far easier than my first was.

It was way harder for me.  I was really ready for #1.  I was sick of working full-time and DH and I were past our "young" stage.  I was ready to focus on a child.

So, once he came, it honestly felt like a vacation to me.  I didn't have to work full-time and got to nap during the day when he did.  My house was the cleanest it ever was because I was home more.  It was definitely an adjustment, but a welcome one that we were really ready for.

We got pregnant with #2 way earlier than we would have liked.  #1 was only 17 months (to the day) when #2 was born..  I felt like I had two babies and it was overwhelming.  All the work now pales in comparison to how those first six months felt after #2 was born.

Maybe I just can't handle anything less than a 2 year age gap.

light52

I found 0-1 the worst but I had a difficult baby who was up 7 times a night and never napped longer than 30 minutes.  Turns out he was special needs and now that we have addressed several of his issues, he is great to be around.

1-2 and 2-3 haven't been bad.  I'm stressed to the max right now but that is mostly because my 4 year old is going through a rough patch and it is summer break so I can't take him to preschool or parent's day out to get a break.  The baby and my 7 year old for the most part aren't part of that stress.  And yes, it helps a ton to have an older child who can entertain the younger child.