January 2013 Moms

Mama Guilt/Stress

Any other mamas feel a bit overwhelmed with all of the things we hear that are best to do for our baby? I've already decided to keep EPing longer than 6 months, but was excited that we are starting solids. Now I feel the pressure, though, to be a good mama and make all of his food because it's better. It just seems overwhelming to me to work all day, pump periodically, cook dinner, keep the house clean, play with baby, do night time routine including bath, reading, etc, and then make all of his food on top of that! Maybe I'm just venting but gosh I feel exhausted and like I can never do it all the right way!

BFP #1: 05/2012 DS born 12/30/12

BFP #2: 02/2014 Natural M/C 03/2014 @ 7 weeks

BFP #3: 06/2014 EDD: 02/17/2015 M/C @ 7w2d, D&E 7/15/14


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Re: Mama Guilt/Stress

  • I am doing baby led weaning, but if I were working there is no way i'd be making special food for Jack or doing pur?es at 9pm!  There are a few good, organic pur?e options out there.  I don't remember names as I stopped researching them early on.  But don't feel guilted into making pur?e!  Your baby will benefit more down the road from happy, well rested momma than some fancy homemade pur?e!  


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  • Personally it doesn't matter to me whether someone breastfeeds or formula feeds, cloth diapers or uses disposables, makes their own baby food or buys baby food.  You are taking care of your baby.  I was going to TRY and make baby food and freeze it, mostly to save money.  BUT I was going to do this before I go back to work next month.  Once I go back to work I have a feeling I'll be more about convenience than worrying about making my own food.

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  • Honestly, I think being on TB makes it worse! Just a community of overachieving moms who all love their kids an insane amount, which is why we spend all of this time doing research and getting recommendations on what is "best" for our LOs. 

    As a child I know I grew up on formula, with bumpers, eating high fructose corn syrup (probably way before I should of) and I turned out fine (ish). Just make the best choices you can while maintaining your sanity! There isn't a right way. 


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  • I second guess every choice I make and it doesn't help that DH always just says, "Do what you think is right." I'm learning I just have to go with my gut. We have a bumper, he's been sleeping on his belly since 6 weeks, we do a combination of BLW and purees...You know your baby better than anyone else and when in doubt, trust those mommy instincts.

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  • This is so me!! I EBF and pump at work so I feel like I'm not performing to the best of my ability, then when I get home, I have to cook dinner, clean, bath my 2 1/2 year old and my LO, and do laundry. I feel like I barely have time for my toddler and sometimes feel like I'm stealing his childhood since I had LO so soon. I know it's ridiculous but I can't help it sometimes! I made all of my first sons baby food but I cannot imagine how exhausted I will be when LO starts solids! I can totally relate!

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  • This..

    image holly52:

    Personally it doesn't matter to me whether someone breastfeeds or formula feeds, cloth diapers or uses disposables, makes their own baby food or buys baby food.  You are taking care of your baby. 

    ..and this.

    image kittynap:

    Honestly, I think being on TB makes it worse! Just a community of overachieving moms who all love their kids an insane amount, which is why we spend all of this time doing research and getting recommendations on what is "best" for our LOs. 

     

    There is just too much out there and not enough hours in the day. I'd go insane if I tried to keep up on every little best thing out there. I cloth diaper most times, but I sposie overnight and on long trips for convenience. I let DS play baby games on my smartphone and laptop sometimes... always with me there talking to him about what he's doing. I breast feed, but I supplement formula without worrying about it. I started DS on solids before 6 months, but I have been lazy with the making baby food and freezing it thing so it's been hit and miss when he gets it. I figure as long as he's getting his milk it's nbd at this age.

    I have tomorrow off and bought a bunch of fruits and veggies today. I hope DS cooperates with my plan to cook, freeze, and store a bunch of food so I can get on a better schedule with that. I HOPE to be able to have one big cooking baby food day a month... I think that would be manageable. There is no way I'm making a new puree after work every day. If the cooking day doesn't work out I'll look into store bought food. Like PPs said... as long as your kid is taken care of the details are just details.

    The very reason it is so easy to feel mommy guilt is because there are so many different paths we can take in our parenting choices. We have to choose what works best for our own LOs and not worry about what other mommies are doing with their LOs. Don't stress over getting everything just right. Do what you want/can and let the rest go. A sane, happy mom is the best thing you can give your baby.

     

     

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  • I've heard once you get in the hang of making purees it's not too difficult. Just a couple hours one day a week. I give you lots of credit for pumping though. I EBF because I don't work and I hate pumping, I'm really not sure if I would have made it this long pumping! GL
  • I go to school, clean house, cook dinner, EP, and make my own purees... sometimes it gets stressful... but I'm glad my husband is here to help me, I write everything down step by step not that he's a moron but this keeps him from asking me questions on what to do next :) I am coming up on 6 months of EPing and I have decided to keep going to a year... I only get 5-9 oz every 4hrs so if this means I have to give DD formula so be it. I think there is so much pressure for moms these days that the information scares them... I personally take every information with a grain of salt... I chose to make my own baby food while I was pregnant and my SIL has helped me a lot on how to make it. Sometimes pumping sucks, especially when you have to pump all day but I do it for my baby and I at least want to give her what I can... but all this information out there about formula fed babies or mixed fed babies makes me sick, simply because of scare tactics they put on moms.... I use disposible diapers and I have yet to have a blow out and I use the Target brand... I give DD rice oatmeal and I have not had any problems with her tummy hurting, we also give her other purees... I guess what I am trying to say take your time on everything, no rush...Do a couple of purees at a time, trust me it gets easier and don't be afraid to ask for help... :)

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  • Not sure if I'm going to pure, but If i do have a little mini cuisinart, just going to throw adult food I've made for us in there and use that!
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  • It's easy to feel overwhelmed but I'm sure you're doing your best! Not every piece of advice is for you so don't stress about meeting everyone's expectations. As for cooking food? Gerber seems just fine to me and LO likes it!
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  • Even though moms are superhumans, we have our limits Smile  The fact you are even worrying about this just shows how much you love and care for your baby.  Don't sweat the small stuff.  Your baby is healthy, happy, and thriving!  Who cares if he gets store bought food or if your house is in perfect condition?  Enjoy this time together.  If anyone tries to judge you for it, tell them where they can shove their opinion. 


     

    Julia Rose--the chosen one?


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  • yes, and I do agree that TB and other chat boards make it worse because they are full of women who say one thing, but don't necessarily do it.  And a lot of SAHM's with more time :)

    You don't have to do it all.  As far as purees, I plan on just making my own of the simple stuff.  Like grabbing a banana or avocado because I can easily mash it with a fork.  She's just starting out so 1 banana or avocado lasts 3 or 4 feedings just in the fridge.  Maybe some weekend I'll puree some veggies and fruits that need to be steamed or cooked and freeze it, but if I have to buy some store bought because I don't have time, no big deal. You just have to realize that you don't have to do it all yourself to have a normal, healthy child.

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  • You are doing an amazing job! I applaud you for going more than 6 months with EPing. I also EP and plan to be done within the nex week or two due to my own selfish reasons. DD will be 6 months soon and I can't take the pumping anymore. I also would like to make my own purees but know that probably is not the reality of what will happen. Sure I might make some, but I know I will slack off. I do feel the same pressure about my daughters sleep and whether or not to let her CIO. I definitely agree with the other posters about being on the message boards and stuff. That just adds to the stress because you start to think you aren't doing enough or aren't doing the right thing. You just have to do what is best for you and your baby and try not to compare. As long as baby is healthy, happy, and thriving, all is well. :
  • Dont stress the solids do much. It's really not a big deal with the pured because you only do them for a few months before baby eats real food. If you are stressing about making them and feel guilt the just save yourself the stress and buy them. You can get organic and use that to allay the guilt lol.
  • Not that mamma guilt or stress goes away when you have a second or third baby - you just understand how to manage it a little more (I won't say better) - and I've got to tell you, whether you make baby food or buy it or have some fancy chef in NYC make it and deliver it to your door - your baby will be healthy and well - and it won't matter. It really won't. 

    When I asked my mom about the1 thing she would do differently if she had to raise us 3 kids all over again, she said "feed you organic food as babies/toddlers."  So I decided to take that to heart and educate myself, and feed my kiddos as much organic/natural food as possible. (just as a personal decision).  But I do not make it all myself. Thankfully we live in 2013 where you can invest in this at a lot of nearby stores - good quality, nutritionally dense, prepared organic food.  It's expensive - but the convenience and time savings outweighs that for me. And I consider it an investment. Investing in their health now to avoid paying huge health care bills later to "undo/fix" what poor choices early in life may have contributed to.   I don't go out, or buy clothes/shoes/jewelry/movies/cars - my kids just eat healthy (albiet expensive) prepared (in many cases) food. And that's my decision.

    None of us get a special star from anyone for feeding our kids homemade food, or organic food, or anything - just feed your baby the best you can, and call it a day.

    Big Smile

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