Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

Friend has 13 month old front facing

He is 20 pounds, so they turned his car seat around. He's only 13 months old!! Im trying to find a website, meme, blog, SOMETHING that I Can post on my Facebook wall (were FB friends) thats like hey, always a good reminder to all parents... something thats not an obviouse cue to her, but that will hopefully trigger the "OHHHHH I need to turn his seat around" point in her head. Any links you can share?

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Re: Friend has 13 month old front facing

  • There's quite a bit of information out there regarding this topic. Here's something I found. Hopefully they will take the hint!

     http://www.thecarseatlady.com/car_seats/rear-facing_seats.html

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  • First let me say I understand your concern however is it really your place to even "hint" about what she does with her kid? Maybe there is more to it? We planned to keep DS RF as long as possible but he was getting car sick everyday so we had to flip him at 17 months. DD doesn't get car sick so she will stay RF for 2+ years. It annoys me to no end when people post things as "hints" to other people on a public sites like FB ... It's childish if you want to say something to her just say it and let her defend herself or just worry about parenting your own children. 
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  • I don't think it's childish. I think it's a nice reminder. My best advice is going to the states highway patrol website and see what they say. Mine has regulations and such posted. It was nice to know the expectations for RF, FF and also graduating to a booster seat and that where I live they expect 10 year olds to even be in a booster. Also where I live it's not okay to put a 12 year old in the front seat, they need to be 13 at the youngest. It also says what will happen if they pull you over and your child is not in the proper car seat.

    I posted it on FB for everyone to know what they should be doing. I'm a nurse, so I feel I should be voicing that because I feel it's one of my responsibilities to set an example. I RF. One friend thought it was okay for an 6 year old to sit in the front seat only because the little girls weight was at the weight limit. It was a little girl she was going to babysit. The parents had been putting her in the front seat. I told her that's not acceptable and that they need to go buy their daughter a booster to use in all vehicles. It's state law.

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  • I don't really think it's your place to say anything. As long as she is following the law I kind of think it's a MYOB thing. I know your heart is in the right place but I can't see how this will turn out well. This is coming from someone who plans to RF as close to age four as we can get.


    Eta I totally misread the post. I thought you wanted to single her out on Facebook. I think putting something on Facebook in general is totally fine. I'll see if I can find something for you.
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  • I sent this article to a friend:

    http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/108322/9_lifesaving_car_seat_rules

    But we had been talking about when to turn RF a couple of days before I sent it. I did it in a totally playful "oh since we were just talking about this, etc gosh there are so many rules!" Way. She replied saying thanks for the info, we already turned her. She was 16 months. Do I agree? No, but I said my peace, they made their decision.

    Another friend turned her son at a year and when I saw I just flat out said, "I hate to be that mom, but did you know they are recommending to RF until at least 2?" She said yes but his legs looked squished so they turned him. Then she said, "so yes I did know, I'm just choosing to endanger him!" Topic dropped!

    Just because you "enlighten" your friend doesn't mean they'll change back, but there's no harm in mentioning it.
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  • my son is front facing, he's 27 lbs, but for what ever reason my DH wants them forward facing ASAP, so at a year we do it.  Considering that 35 years ago kids weren't even in car seats (my BIL is that old and thats what my ILs said) and it was only 3 years ago when it started to become suggested to keep kids facing backwards for as long as possible, I'm not too concerned.  It seems like people are always trying to make things safer that weren't all that unsafe to begin with.

    I did post a picture of DS in his car seat not that long ago facing forward.  If a facebook friend posted a link to an article, I wouldn't think anything of it and certain wouldn't think it was directed at me.  I'm not ignorant, I know what the new guidlelines are and the reason for them, but the fact that I've been in 1 accident in my almost 14 years driving, and that was 13 years ago, and that DH gets something out of turing the car seats around, I"m not going to stress it.

  • image oliversmommy32912:
    I don't really think it's your place to say anything. As long as she is following the law I kind of think it's a MYOB thing. I know your heart is in the right place but I can't see how this will turn out well. This is coming from someone who plans to RF as close to age four as we can get. Eta I totally misread the post. I thought you wanted to single her out on Facebook. I think putting something on Facebook in general is totally fine. I'll see if I can find something for you.

    I agree that singling someone out is a bit much, but I think posting a general FYI is not too much. The only time I personally message someone to point out carseat mistakes is when its a close friend who I think will take it ok. And even then, I'm still nervous they are going to be offended.  

    Once I saw a friend had posted pics with the chest clip really low on her newborn. I just politely messaged her and said that I hoped she wasn't offended but I noticed.....And I also said that I had done things wrong when DD was a newborn and people had been helpful to point things out to me. She was very receptive luckily. 

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  • image mommymegan831:

    my son is front facing, he's 27 lbs, but for what ever reason my DH wants them forward facing ASAP, so at a year we do it.  Considering that 35 years ago kids weren't even in car seats (my BIL is that old and thats what my ILs said) and it was only 3 years ago when it started to become suggested to keep kids facing backwards for as long as possible, I'm not too concerned.  It seems like people are always trying to make things safer that weren't all that unsafe to begin with.

    I did post a picture of DS in his car seat not that long ago facing forward.  If a facebook friend posted a link to an article, I wouldn't think anything of it and certain wouldn't think it was directed at me.  I'm not ignorant, I know what the new guidlelines are and the reason for them, but the fact that I've been in 1 accident in my almost 14 years driving, and that was 13 years ago, and that DH gets something out of turing the car seats around, I"m not going to stress it.

    *side eye*

    Umm okay.... 

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  • Why are you so shocked? Isn't 20lbs and 12 months of age the required law? Everything else is a "recommendation". I don't think it's your business to tell them what to do or inundate them with hints. We certainly flipped K's car seat over when she turned 1. She was about 21lbs at that time. 
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  • image cattynine:
    image mommymegan831:

    my son is front facing, he's 27 lbs, but for what ever reason my DH wants them forward facing ASAP, so at a year we do it.  Considering that 35 years ago kids weren't even in car seats (my BIL is that old and thats what my ILs said) and it was only 3 years ago when it started to become suggested to keep kids facing backwards for as long as possible, I'm not too concerned.  It seems like people are always trying to make things safer that weren't all that unsafe to begin with.

    I did post a picture of DS in his car seat not that long ago facing forward.  If a facebook friend posted a link to an article, I wouldn't think anything of it and certain wouldn't think it was directed at me.  I'm not ignorant, I know what the new guidlelines are and the reason for them, but the fact that I've been in 1 accident in my almost 14 years driving, and that was 13 years ago, and that DH gets something out of turing the car seats around, I"m not going to stress it.

    *side eye*

    Umm okay.... 

    too bad we're not facebook friends so you could politely tell me your 2 cents, however I wouldn't be as polite as your friend.  I'm following the law, your side eyes really don't mean anything 

  • KatFCoKatFCo
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    image harmonicbabe26:
    Why are you so shocked? Isn't 20lbs and 12 months of age the required law? Everything else is a "recommendation". I don't think it's your business to tell them what to do or inundate them with hints. We certainly flipped K's car seat over when she turned 1. She was about 21lbs at that time. 

    Laws often are way behind safety recommendations. A couple of years ago the AAP and several other experts changed the recommendation. The legislatures just don't care enough to do anything about it.

    The fact is, rear-facing is the safest way to ride in a car, for anyone, and the longer kids rear-face, the better. I can understand feeling the need to FF because of a child's size, or if they get carsick, and I'm hardly a gung-ho car seat advocate, but I'd be a bit surprised if someone said, "Yes, I know what's safest for my child and I don't care."

    It's not like it takes that much more effort to keep a child RFing. No one ever plans to be in an accident.

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  • Honestly, I forward faced my 12 month old at 20 pounds.  My cousin and SIL both forward faced their kids once they turned one and weighed 20 pounds.  (Their youngest is 3)  DH and I didn't know any better and we read the manual and it said you could forward faced once they turned a year and weighed 20 pounds so we did.

    Then a month later I was here on the bump and saw a post similar to yours and thought.  "Uh oh.  Did I forward face her too soon?"  So I found a bunch of information and we put her back rear facing.  She has been back rear facing for 2 months now.  I know that it is the safest thing for her but she really really freakin' hates it.  She's 15 months old and we're going to try to keep her rear facing for as long as possible but I can't imagine having her rear facing for another year.

    Anyway, if she's really your friend just tell her.  Maybe she really doesn't know.       I didn't. 

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  • You can post all the articles you want, but what it comes down to is that it is none of your f'ucking business how someone raises their child. As long as they aren't doing something illegal then mind your own. Maybe their kid gets violently carsick or screams so loud while RFing that mom is too distracted to properly drive. You don't know their lyfe.
    i wish i could be joking but my dad is the music teacher at a church so he owuld be mad. we had sex, all the time how bad i know but we dont want to wait and he said GREAT OH KAY! and I was really feeling the wets? down there- too embarsed to say- but he acted like man.
  • This isn't going to end well no matter how you do it. I mean would you take it well if someone gave you a "friendly reminder" as what to do with your kid. I doubt it. No one really does. I know the FF vs. RF is a huge debate on here, but IRL it's not so much for whatever reason right or wrong. A) Your friend might not be doing what's the "safest" or "suggested." However, you don't know her rhyme or reason. My kid was RF until 21 months because she started screaming and puking in the car. My nephew went FF because he had a breathing issue and at the pedis advice they turned him. You just never know. Andectotal evidence I know, but don't be so quick to pass judgement. B) She isn't violating any laws. It's not like she left her kid in the car alone. C) FB isn't the place for this. At all. Why people think it's okay to "gently" point this stuff out on FB is beyond me. Call her, meet her in person if you must.
  • image dairygirl19:
    This isn't going to end well no matter how you do it. I mean would you take it well if someone gave you a "friendly reminder" as what to do with your kid. I doubt it. No one really does. I know the FF vs. RF is a huge debate on here, but IRL it's not so much for whatever reason right or wrong. A) Your friend might not be doing what's the "safest" or "suggested." However, you don't know her rhyme or reason. My kid was RF until 21 months because she started screaming and puking in the car. My nephew went FF because he had a breathing issue and at the pedis advice they turned him. You just never know. Andectotal evidence I know, but don't be so quick to pass judgement. B) She isn't violating any laws. It's not like she left her kid in the car alone. C) FB isn't the place for this. At all. Why people think it's okay to "gently" point this stuff out on FB is beyond me. Call her, meet her in person if you must.

    All of this.  I freakin' hate FB.   

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  • image gisa886:
    You can post all the articles you want, but what it comes down to is that it is none of your f'ucking business how someone raises their child. As long as they aren't doing something illegal then mind your own. Maybe their kid gets violently carsick or screams so loud while RFing that mom is too distracted to properly drive. You don't know their lyfe.

    I would find it easier to take you seriously if you spelled "life" correctly. 

    It's not illegal to put your newborn in his crib on his stomach with a bunch of blankets, but I would certainly point out what a terrible idea it was if I saw someone doing it. OP, I'd send her an article on facebook privately, tell her you know it's her kids, her rules...but you wanted to make sure she was fully informed. 

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  • image XcrisscrossX:

    image gisa886:
    You can post all the articles you want, but what it comes down to is that it is none of your f'ucking business how someone raises their child. As long as they aren't doing something illegal then mind your own. Maybe their kid gets violently carsick or screams so loud while RFing that mom is too distracted to properly drive. You don't know their lyfe.

    I would find it easier to take you seriously if you spelled "life" correctly. 

    It's not illegal to put your newborn in his crib on his stomach with a bunch of blankets, but I would certainly point out what a terrible idea it was if I saw someone doing it. OP, I'd send her an article on facebook privately, tell her you know it's her kids, her rules...but you wanted to make sure she was fully informed. 


    It is a long running bump joke to spell life that way. It is funny how people assume other parents are ignorant to these things. They probably know and just choose not to.
    i wish i could be joking but my dad is the music teacher at a church so he owuld be mad. we had sex, all the time how bad i know but we dont want to wait and he said GREAT OH KAY! and I was really feeling the wets? down there- too embarsed to say- but he acted like man.
  • Nel11Nel11
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    The logic (or lack thereof) of some posters validating their choice to FF their kid astounds me...

    OP, I don't think Facebook is the right venue for this.  It is very easy for a parent to find car safety info nowadays.  It's their choice whether to follow it or not.  FWIW, I know several parents who FF their kid at 9, 10, 11 months old.  Makes me cringe, but it's not my place to tell them how to parent.


  • Join the parents.com Facebook page, then maybe right at the same time, find some article on Parents.com website about carseat safety and share it. . . you could say 'just joined this page and has so much useful info!"

     

     


  • image Nel11:

    The logic (or lack thereof) of some posters validating their choice to FF their kid astounds me...

    OP, I don't think Facebook is the right venue for this.  It is very easy for a parent to find car safety info nowadays.  It's their choice whether to follow it or not.  FWIW, I know several parents who FF their kid at 9, 10, 11 months old.  Makes me cringe, but it's not my place to tell them how to parent.

    Examples?

    i wish i could be joking but my dad is the music teacher at a church so he owuld be mad. we had sex, all the time how bad i know but we dont want to wait and he said GREAT OH KAY! and I was really feeling the wets? down there- too embarsed to say- but he acted like man.
  • Estwd2Estwd2
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    image mommymegan831:
    Considering that 35 years ago kids weren't even in car seats my BIL is that old and thats what my ILs said and it was only 3 years ago when it started to become suggested to keep kids facing backwards for as long as possible, I'm not too concerned. nbsp;It seems like people are always trying to make things safer that weren't all that unsafe to begin with.
    So, you're saying that before the RF recs and even before carseats, it wasn't "all that unsafe" for kids in cars? Just clarifying before I start laughing.
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  • Estwd2Estwd2
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    Oh and OP, if you truly want to be passive aggressive about this, and I'm not really judging because I do that myself sometimes, do a Google image search for "extended rear facing meme." There's some funny shiit there. I'm on mobile and can't post them. I love the Wonka one about defying physics.

    ETA...I'm probably on Team MYOB, but if you're going to do it, you might as well make it funny.
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  • image gisa886:
    You can post all the articles you want, but what it comes down to is that it is none of your f'ucking business how someone raises their child. As long as they aren't doing something illegal then mind your own. Maybe their kid gets violently carsick or screams so loud while RFing that mom is too distracted to properly drive. You don't know their lyfe.

    GISA! I heart you.

    I agree. Mind your own business. Butting into people's parenting decisions is just a no-no.

    Signed,

    Someone-who-is-totally-going-to-RF-to-the-limits-of-the-seat 

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  • image DaisyBlinks:

    image gisa886:
    You can post all the articles you want, but what it comes down to is that it is none of your f'ucking business how someone raises their child. As long as they aren't doing something illegal then mind your own. Maybe their kid gets violently carsick or screams so loud while RFing that mom is too distracted to properly drive. You don't know their lyfe.

    GISA! I heart you.

    I agree. Mind your own business. Butting into people's parenting decisions is just a no-no.

    Signed,

    Someone-who-is-totally-going-to-RF-to-the-limits-of-the-seat 

    Hey girl!

    FWIW I RF my kids. I just turned my daughter right before 2 and a half because she was telling me she had to pee and I couldn't hear her and she peed in her seat.

    i wish i could be joking but my dad is the music teacher at a church so he owuld be mad. we had sex, all the time how bad i know but we dont want to wait and he said GREAT OH KAY! and I was really feeling the wets? down there- too embarsed to say- but he acted like man.
  • I think posting publicly on Facebook is too passive/aggressive. Why not just ask them in a private message and relay your concerns that way?  If you are truly friends I can see it being fine and perhaps turning into a learning experience for both of you (as in she rethinks her decision and you are humbled and less judgmental), but if you're just acquaintances I can see it being condescending and you will probably get blocked.  No parent likes to be told by another parent that they're doing something wrong, but they especially don't like it publicly announced either. 
  • PA law states 1 year and 20 lbs. I'm sure she knows the recs and turned her child knowing them. There's not much you can do if you value the friendship.
    Sorry no paragraphs, bumping from my phone.
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  • So i have a wwyd question along similar lines. A friend of mine has been posting pictures of her son FF in the car since he was just under 5 months old. He's only 7 months old now, so it's definitely illegal in California.

    I feel weird since we're not the closest of friends, nor is it my business,but when it's something that is clearly dangerous and illegal for the baby, what's the best approach?
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  • image mommymegan831:

    my son is front facing, he's 27 lbs, but for what ever reason my DH wants them forward facing ASAP, so at a year we do it.  Considering that 35 years ago kids weren't even in car seats (my BIL is that old and thats what my ILs said) and it was only 3 years ago when it started to become suggested to keep kids facing backwards for as long as possible, I'm not too concerned.  It seems like people are always trying to make things safer that weren't all that unsafe to begin with.

    Oh WTAF?  So your husband just wanted to do something that goes against all of the current research, doctor and AAP recommendations that could really endanger your child and he can't articulate WHY he wants to do it and you're response was "Okay."?

    And yeah, screw those people doing research to make small children safer since 35 years ago when kids weren't in carseats lots of them died.  What a waste of time and money.

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  • image skibunny59:

    Honestly, I forward faced my 12 month old at 20 pounds.  My cousin and SIL both forward faced their kids once they turned one and weighed 20 pounds.  (Their youngest is 3)  DH and I didn't know any better and we read the manual and it said you could forward faced once they turned a year and weighed 20 pounds so we did.

    Then a month later I was here on the bump and saw a post similar to yours and thought.  "Uh oh.  Did I forward face her too soon?"  So I found a bunch of information and we put her back rear facing.  She has been back rear facing for 2 months now.  I know that it is the safest thing for her but she really really freakin' hates it.  She's 15 months old and we're going to try to keep her rear facing for as long as possible but I can't imagine having her rear facing for another year.

    Anyway, if she's really your friend just tell her.  Maybe she really doesn't know.       I didn't. 

    And this is exactly WHY posting a carseat safety article on FB (not singling anyone out) is worth a shot.  Sometimes people just don't do the research on their own and having it handed to them can lead them to make a better decision because they're better informed.  

    I'm glad you decided to switch her back after reading up :)

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  • image Kimbus22:
    image skibunny59:

    Honestly, I forward faced my 12 month old at 20 pounds.  My cousin and SIL both forward faced their kids once they turned one and weighed 20 pounds.  (Their youngest is 3)  DH and I didn't know any better and we read the manual and it said you could forward faced once they turned a year and weighed 20 pounds so we did.

    Then a month later I was here on the bump and saw a post similar to yours and thought.  "Uh oh.  Did I forward face her too soon?"  So I found a bunch of information and we put her back rear facing.  She has been back rear facing for 2 months now.  I know that it is the safest thing for her but she really really freakin' hates it.  She's 15 months old and we're going to try to keep her rear facing for as long as possible but I can't imagine having her rear facing for another year.

    Anyway, if she's really your friend just tell her.  Maybe she really doesn't know.       I didn't. 

    And this is exactly WHY posting a carseat safety article on FB (not singling anyone out) is worth a shot.  Sometimes people just don't do the research on their own and having it handed to them can lead them to make a better decision because they're better informed.  

    I'm glad you decided to switch her back after reading up :)

    I agree with this. It's not like you're posting a meme and saying "This is for you @ Friendy McFriend". It's just getting the information out there. If they see it and decide to look it up and realize they want to turn back to RF then great. If they see it and decide they still want to FF then great. You've done what you can do.

    Everyone who has decided to ERF learned about it somewhere. I was the first person out of all my friends and close family to have kids. Car seat laws were drastically different when I was a kid so my parents sure as hell didn't tell me about ERFing. I saw some stats someone posted on Facebook and that led me to research more about ERFing and then I made my decision. I'm thankful someone posted something that caused me to think. We will now RF as long as it works for our family with the goal to RF until DS outgrows the limits of the seat.

    If you plan on singling her out then totally MYOB. As long as someone is following the law then it's no one's place to tell them how to parent IMO, but I don't think there is anything wrong with putting information out there to the general public. 

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