Parenting
gymnst1013
member
Any
1-2-3 Magic users here? I'm reading the book and really want to start
implementing this soon but I'm unsure of how to deal with a few
particular situations and haven't found answers in the book.
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1-2-3 Magic - Questions
gymnst1013
member
in Parenting
Any
1-2-3 Magic users here? I'm reading the book and really want to start
implementing this soon but I'm unsure of how to deal with a few
particular situations and haven't found answers in the book.
One thing Nikolai likes to do lately is kick the crap out of his legs
when I'm changing his diaper. Not fun in general but terrible if it's
poopy. I obviously can't give him an immediate time out after a 3 count
if he has a poopy diaper half on and half off and at this point
probably poop everywhere. So what do I do? Finish changing him and
then give him a time out? It can be 5 minutes before I manage to get
him changed (or at least it feels that way).
He likes
to pour water out of the tub at bath time. This isn't a habit yet but
he's done it a few times. Again, I can't give him
an immediate time out. I at least have to get him rinsed and out of
the tub. So again, just do it as soon as he's out of the tub (and get
him out as quickly as possible)?
I know
consistency is key but what if I feel like I overreacted in counting him
(like maybe it shouldn't have been a countable offense - maybe it was
more that it annoyed me rather than being something that is out and out
misbehaving)? Should I follow through with the time out or stop
counting and let him do whatever he was doing? I feel like giving in is
undermining my discipline.
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Re: 1-2-3 Magic - Questions
For the bath water thing I use something more like a natural consequence. I count and if I get to 3 bath time is over, no questions asked. Then he can help you clean up the floor. DS1 learned pretty quickly that water stays in the tub.
ETA: As for the countable offense thing,I would come up with a list of countable offenses before implementing the system and stick with that for awhile untilnyou both get the hang of it. Then you can modify the list as time goes on.
I could be wrong on this, but I thought I remember that 1-2-3 Magic was for starting at age 3, not age 2. Your little guy is just over 2. In any event, I would not discipline for diaper changing/toileting issues. Just get in & out as fast as you can on those- I realize what he's doing is annoying, but IMO I don't feel it's right to discipline for that. As for pouring water out of the tub, I'd give a warning, get him all washed up & if he does it again say "Oops, too bad- time to get out!" and remove him immediately. I don't think counting is necessary there- the natural consequence is being removed.
It's for 2-12. It's not the diaper change per se that he'd be punished for but for the kicking. It's not just annoying, either. It hurts to get kicked in the face!
Thanks for the advice guys! I'm going to finish the book and get started soon. Hoping to see some progress in the next few weeks.
When DS would kick during a diaper change I'd give him a warning and say "If you kick Mommy again, you will get a time out." Kicking and hitting are normally non-negotiable, no-warning time-outs but during a diaper change I will give a warning. If he kicked again, I'd finish the diaper change and put him in time out.
As for the bath, I give DS a warning if he pours water out of the tub. If he's using a cup or something, I would say "The water needs to stay in the tub. If you pour more water out, I am taking the cup away." If he does it with his hands, I would give a warning and then end the bath completely. I usually get DS washed and rinsed as soon as he gets in the tub and the rest is play time so if he acts up, then it's no big deal to end the bath early.
I don't use 1-2-3 in every situation. I usually end up using it more when he's not doing something he's supposed to, like cleaning up his toys, or coming in to have his teeth brushed, etc. A lot of times I use more natural consequences, like taking away his cup in the bath vs. putting him in time-out. It really just depends on the situation and how poorly he is actually behaving.