TTC After a Loss

Board etiquette question

I know there's a blog floating around here, and I did read it at some point after my first loss. If someone could link it, I really appreciate it. One question in the meantime: Do you all prefer a siggy warning on every post title/before every reply? Or can I forgo the warning? Since I'm not a reg, I imagine most don't know there's a baby ticker in my sig.
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bfp 1 - m/c 1.31.11 @ 10 weeks

bfp 2 - baby born via c-section on 5.4.12 @ 37 weeks

TFAS since February 2013--BFP on cycle 1!

bfp 3 - blighted ovum/d&c on 4.13.13 @ 8 weeks

SA #1 - Slightly abnormal shape, #2 - very low count

Follistim + IUI 3x = BFN, BFN, very late BFP 4 with super low progesterone --> c/p

Moving on to long protocol IVF with ICSI and PGS in August 2014...how in the holy hell did I get here? FU 2IF.

bfp 5 - natural bfp while on lupron--so I guess that really does happen, huh?

14 DPO beta - 106 ... 17 DPO beta - 456


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Re: Board etiquette question

  • You don't need a siggy warning for a baby ticker. If it were a pregnancy ticker that's a different story.

    IMO the only other siggy warnings needed are for infant pictures. And if you're regularly posting with infant pics in your siggy you really ought to change your siggy. (I know this doesn't apply to you, Melissa, I'm just throwing it out there.)

    Thank you for asking though! 

    Edit: added a word. 

    Another edit: I reread that part of the blog and it says to put a siggy warning for a ticker, but I personally am not bothered by child tickers, and rarely even look at them. Hopefully others can weigh in.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    BFP #1   8.29.12   EDD 5.8.13   MC 10.9.12   GusGus
    BFP #2   7.12.13   EDD 3.24.14   MC 7.26.13   Muggle
    RE Consult 8.22.13 for RPL testing
    Diagnosed with Factor V Leiden and MTHFR 
    IUI #1 10.11.13 w/gonal-f and ovidrel   BFP #3 & CP 10.25.13   Dot
    IUI #2 12.9.13 w/gonal-f and ovidrel   BFP #4 12.18.13   EDD 9.1.14
    Our rainbow, Eleanor Margaret born 8.27.14
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    imageimageimage  imageimage
    formerly lindsayhilleary
  • image lindsayhilleary:
    You don't need a siggy warning for a baby ticker. If it were a pregnancy ticker that's a different story.IMO the only other siggy warnings needed are for infant pictures. And if you're regularly posting with infant pics in your siggy you really ought to change your siggy. I know this doesn't apply to you, Melissa, I'm just throwing it out there.Thank you for asking though!nbsp;Edit: added a word.nbsp;


    All of this for me too!
    TTC #1 as of Feb. 2013
    BFP on Mar. 4, 2013, DX with MMC (blighted ovum) at 8 weeks, D&C
    TTC again as of May 2013
    BFP on June 24, 2013, EED March 12, 2014
    Diagnosed with endometriosis, PCOS, heterozygous MTHFR and positive for ANA

    GROW BABY, GROW!
    BabyFruitTicker
  • I believe the consensus is once you post a few times and people get to know you no signature warning is needed. I think toddler or kid ticker warnings are a lot easier to handle than pics. IMO I think your signature is fine. 

    That being said, as a Snegde on her soapbox FYI to others, if people plan on being regular posters on the board I think removing any baby/young toddler pics is a good idea. They are just hard to see for some members and out of courtesy to others I think removing them is the way to go. 


    imageimageimage
    TTC since 2.12 
    BFP 11.14.12 (MC 12.2.12) EDD 7.24.13 
    Dx: Unexplained IF 12.13, Endometriosis 1.14
    IUI#1+Clomid 1.3.14 Missed Ectopic identified 1.28.14 (EDD 9.26.14) Lap. Surgery
    IUI#2.0+Letrozole Cancelled 1.28.14. IUI#2.1+Letrozole Cancelled 4.22.14
    IVF 6 eggs Retrieved 5 Fertilized 7.22.14 1 Blastocyst Transfer 7.27.14 
    BFP 8.5.14 Due 4.15 Feeling hopeful.
      All Welcome

  • image lindsayhilleary:

    You don't need a siggy warning for a baby ticker. If it were a pregnancy ticker that's a different story.

    IMO the only other siggy warnings needed are for infant pictures. And if you're regularly posting with infant pics in your siggy you really ought to change your siggy. (I know this doesn't apply to you, Melissa, I'm just throwing it out there.)

    Thank you for asking though! 

    Edit: added a word. 

    Another edit: I reread that part of the blog and it says to put a siggy warning for a ticker, but I personally am not bothered by child tickers, and rarely even look at them. Hopefully others can weigh in.

    Like seriously... why are you always in my head. ;)

    imageimageimage
    TTC since 2.12 
    BFP 11.14.12 (MC 12.2.12) EDD 7.24.13 
    Dx: Unexplained IF 12.13, Endometriosis 1.14
    IUI#1+Clomid 1.3.14 Missed Ectopic identified 1.28.14 (EDD 9.26.14) Lap. Surgery
    IUI#2.0+Letrozole Cancelled 1.28.14. IUI#2.1+Letrozole Cancelled 4.22.14
    IVF 6 eggs Retrieved 5 Fertilized 7.22.14 1 Blastocyst Transfer 7.27.14 
    BFP 8.5.14 Due 4.15 Feeling hopeful.
      All Welcome

  • Gotcha. Glad I asked. Thanks ladies!
    image

                   
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    bfp 1 - m/c 1.31.11 @ 10 weeks

    bfp 2 - baby born via c-section on 5.4.12 @ 37 weeks

    TFAS since February 2013--BFP on cycle 1!

    bfp 3 - blighted ovum/d&c on 4.13.13 @ 8 weeks

    SA #1 - Slightly abnormal shape, #2 - very low count

    Follistim + IUI 3x = BFN, BFN, very late BFP 4 with super low progesterone --> c/p

    Moving on to long protocol IVF with ICSI and PGS in August 2014...how in the holy hell did I get here? FU 2IF.

    bfp 5 - natural bfp while on lupron--so I guess that really does happen, huh?

    14 DPO beta - 106 ... 17 DPO beta - 456


  • image snegde:

    I believe the consensus is once you post a few times and people get to know you no signature warning is needed. I think toddler or kid ticker warnings are a lot easier to handle than pics. IMO I think your signature is fine. 

    That being said, as a Snegde on her soapbox FYI to others, if people plan on being regular posters on the board I think removing any baby/young toddler pics is a good idea. They are just hard to see for some members and out of courtesy to others I think removing them is the way to go.

    Yes especially to the bolded. There are a few posters who grate on my nerves every single time they post because of their siggy.

    Carseat was always the best example of being gracious about this. She has an adorable daughter, but in her words, she didn't need her plastered all over her siggy because she got to see her everyday in real life, and didn't think that we needed to see her in our safe space. 

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    BFP #1   8.29.12   EDD 5.8.13   MC 10.9.12   GusGus
    BFP #2   7.12.13   EDD 3.24.14   MC 7.26.13   Muggle
    RE Consult 8.22.13 for RPL testing
    Diagnosed with Factor V Leiden and MTHFR 
    IUI #1 10.11.13 w/gonal-f and ovidrel   BFP #3 & CP 10.25.13   Dot
    IUI #2 12.9.13 w/gonal-f and ovidrel   BFP #4 12.18.13   EDD 9.1.14
    Our rainbow, Eleanor Margaret born 8.27.14
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    imageimageimage  imageimage
    formerly lindsayhilleary
  • image snegde:
    image lindsayhilleary:

    You don't need a siggy warning for a baby ticker. If it were a pregnancy ticker that's a different story.

    IMO the only other siggy warnings needed are for infant pictures. And if you're regularly posting with infant pics in your siggy you really ought to change your siggy. (I know this doesn't apply to you, Melissa, I'm just throwing it out there.)

    Thank you for asking though! 

    Edit: added a word. 

    Another edit: I reread that part of the blog and it says to put a siggy warning for a ticker, but I personally am not bothered by child tickers, and rarely even look at them. Hopefully others can weigh in.

    Like seriously... why are you always in my head. ;)

    It's cray cray Wink

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    BFP #1   8.29.12   EDD 5.8.13   MC 10.9.12   GusGus
    BFP #2   7.12.13   EDD 3.24.14   MC 7.26.13   Muggle
    RE Consult 8.22.13 for RPL testing
    Diagnosed with Factor V Leiden and MTHFR 
    IUI #1 10.11.13 w/gonal-f and ovidrel   BFP #3 & CP 10.25.13   Dot
    IUI #2 12.9.13 w/gonal-f and ovidrel   BFP #4 12.18.13   EDD 9.1.14
    Our rainbow, Eleanor Margaret born 8.27.14
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    imageimageimage  imageimage
    formerly lindsayhilleary
  • image lindsayhilleary:
    image snegde:

    I believe the consensus is once you post a few times and people get to know you no signature warning is needed. I think toddler or kid ticker warnings are a lot easier to handle than pics. IMO I think your signature is fine. 

    That being said, as a Snegde on her soapbox FYI to others, if people plan on being regular posters on the board I think removing any baby/young toddler pics is a good idea. They are just hard to see for some members and out of courtesy to others I think removing them is the way to go.

    Yes especially to the bolded. There are a few posters who grate on my nerves every single time they post because of their siggy.

    Carseat was always the best example of being gracious about this. She has an adorable daughter, but in her words, she didn't need her plastered all over her siggy because she got to see her everyday in real life, and didn't think that we needed to see her in our safe space. 

    Mlal and Anita are 2 more great examples that I appreciate! 

    imageimageimage
    TTC since 2.12 
    BFP 11.14.12 (MC 12.2.12) EDD 7.24.13 
    Dx: Unexplained IF 12.13, Endometriosis 1.14
    IUI#1+Clomid 1.3.14 Missed Ectopic identified 1.28.14 (EDD 9.26.14) Lap. Surgery
    IUI#2.0+Letrozole Cancelled 1.28.14. IUI#2.1+Letrozole Cancelled 4.22.14
    IVF 6 eggs Retrieved 5 Fertilized 7.22.14 1 Blastocyst Transfer 7.27.14 
    BFP 8.5.14 Due 4.15 Feeling hopeful.
      All Welcome

  • image lindsayhilleary:
    image snegde:

    I believe the consensus is once you post a few times and people get to know you no signature warning is needed. I think toddler or kid ticker warnings are a lot easier to handle than pics. IMO I think your signature is fine. 

    That being said, as a Snegde on her soapbox FYI to others, if people plan on being regular posters on the board I think removing any baby/young toddler pics is a good idea. They are just hard to see for some members and out of courtesy to others I think removing them is the way to go.

    Yes especially to the bolded. There are a few posters who grate on my nerves every single time they post because of their siggy.

    Carseat was always the best example of being gracious about this. She has an adorable daughter, but in her words, she didn't need her plastered all over her siggy because she got to see her everyday in real life, and didn't think that we needed to see her in our safe space. 

    all of this.

    married my best friend 10/04/08, TTC since July 2012
    BFP#1 Thanksgiving 11/22/12, mo-mo twins(one sac), traditional EDD 7/27/13, EDD due to risk 6/15/13
    mmc Angel 2/7/13 @ 15w3d, mmc Aubrey 2/13/13 @ 16w2d, D&E 2/16/13

    BFP#2 9/21/13, EDD 6/2/14, DD born 5/17/14 

    image image image

    All AL always welcome in my threads!

  • image snegde:
    image lindsayhilleary:
    image snegde:

    I believe the consensus is once you post a few times and people get to know you no signature warning is needed. I think toddler or kid ticker warnings are a lot easier to handle than pics. IMO I think your signature is fine. 

    That being said, as a Snegde on her soapbox FYI to others, if people plan on being regular posters on the board I think removing any baby/young toddler pics is a good idea. They are just hard to see for some members and out of courtesy to others I think removing them is the way to go.

    Yes especially to the bolded. There are a few posters who grate on my nerves every single time they post because of their siggy.

    Carseat was always the best example of being gracious about this. She has an adorable daughter, but in her words, she didn't need her plastered all over her siggy because she got to see her everyday in real life, and didn't think that we needed to see her in our safe space. 

    Mlal and Anita are 2 more great examples that I appreciate! 

    Yes! We have some wonderfully thoughtful and considerate women around here. Thankfully the good usually outweighs the bad. 

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    BFP #1   8.29.12   EDD 5.8.13   MC 10.9.12   GusGus
    BFP #2   7.12.13   EDD 3.24.14   MC 7.26.13   Muggle
    RE Consult 8.22.13 for RPL testing
    Diagnosed with Factor V Leiden and MTHFR 
    IUI #1 10.11.13 w/gonal-f and ovidrel   BFP #3 & CP 10.25.13   Dot
    IUI #2 12.9.13 w/gonal-f and ovidrel   BFP #4 12.18.13   EDD 9.1.14
    Our rainbow, Eleanor Margaret born 8.27.14
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    imageimageimage  imageimage
    formerly lindsayhilleary
  • Everyone else covered your questions.  I just want to add that I love the scrolling grammar gif, ie, I just watched it all the way thru Wink

    TTC since October 2012

    BFP#1 1/11/13, EDD 9/19/13, M/C at 9wk6dy 

    BFP#2 11/12/13, DS born 7/28/14!

    imageImage and video hosting by TinyPicimage

    image  Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Chart

    Everyone is welcome


  • eme520eme520
    2500 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its Combo Breaker
    member
    image snegde:

    I believe the consensus is once you post a few times and people get to know you no signature warning is needed. I think toddler or kid ticker warnings are a lot easier to handle than pics. IMO I think your signature is fine. 

    That being said, as a Snegde on her soapbox FYI to others, if people plan on being regular posters on the board I think removing any baby/young toddler pics is a good idea. They are just hard to see for some members and out of courtesy to others I think removing them is the way to go. 

    ::slow clap::  


    TTC #1 since Dec '12
    BFP #1 12/27/12 EDD 9/10/13 mmc at 8w3d D&E 2/4/13
    BFP #2 5/14/13 EDD 1/24/14 c/p 5/15/13
    BFP #3 7/29/13 EDD 4/12/14 Our rainbow baby girl born 4/4/14!
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers

  • image snegde:

    I believe the consensus is once you post a few times and people get to know you no signature warning is needed. I think toddler or kid ticker warnings are a lot easier to handle than pics. IMO I think your signature is fine. 

    That being said, as a Snegde on her soapbox FYI to others, if people plan on being regular posters on the board I think removing any baby/young toddler pics is a good idea. They are just hard to see for some members and out of courtesy to others I think removing them is the way to go. 

    Big thumbs up to all of this, especially the part about the baby and toddler pics. Those should not be in regulars' siggys here, they're hard to see for many. 


         

    imageimage

    Married August 2012. Me: 41  DH: 42 
    Daughter from previous marriage: 20

    TTC #2 since August 2012
    BFP 12/19/12: Ectopic discovered at 8 weeks, right tube removed 01/18/13
    June 2013 Testing Results: Progesterone: 31.7, LH: 5, FSH: 5, Estradiol: 161
    Clomid cycles Nov. 2013 and Jan, Feb, and March 2014

    TTC journey over as of the end of October

    TTCAL BLOG

    All ALers welcome!

  • These women are wise and I love them all! 

    Welcome to the board, Melissa.  I'm very sorry for your loss.  And thank you for asking about the TTCAL blog...it's wonderful stuff.  HUGS

    Lilypie - (dLe1)

     

          ***BFP 1-22-13, baby boy dx with Trisomy 13 at 15 weeks.

           We let him go to Heaven on 4-27-13 at 17 weeks 1 day***

     Lilypie - (AW2u)
     

     Lilypie - (L84X)Lilypie - (D4Hj)

     

     

     

     

  • image snegde:

    I believe the consensus is once you post a few times and people get to know you no signature warning is needed. I think toddler or kid ticker warnings are a lot easier to handle than pics. IMO I think your signature is fine. 

    That being said, as a Snegde on her soapbox FYI to others, if people plan on being regular posters on the board I think removing any baby/young toddler pics is a good idea. They are just hard to see for some members and out of courtesy to others I think removing them is the way to go. 

    I agree with all this 

    imageimage
    BFP with #1 (twins!) 11/18/2011 - missed m/c at 8weeks3days; d&c 1/19/2012; myomectomy to remove 18cm+,10cm & 5cm fibroids 4/2012; TTC again 7/2012; BFP #2 (twins) 11/13/2012; missed m/c at 7weeks;
    BFP #3: baby girl born 3/5/2014

    Balaustine: an anthology about wanting family
  • image lindsayhilleary:

    You don't need a siggy warning for a baby ticker. If it were a pregnancy ticker that's a different story.

    IMO the only other siggy warnings needed are for infant pictures. And if you're regularly posting with infant pics in your siggy you really ought to change your siggy. (I know this doesn't apply to you, Melissa, I'm just throwing it out there.)

    Thank you for asking though! 

    Thank you for asking! I really appreciate you being considerate. I don't even notice tickers unless I'm looking at them on purpose. The pictures are what get most people. They are hard not to see and can really be a bummer if there is a newborn LO. That's my stance on the issue.  

     

    image     image

    BFP 8/2/12 EDD 4/9/13 Addie was delivered 1/4/13 at 26 weeks due to Eclampsia  

    BFP 9/15/14 EDD 5/28/15 Please be our R A I N B O W take home baby
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    imageimageimage
    ~All AL always welcome~

     

     


  • *sig*

     

    I'm sorry if I've been a problem for people.  I asked when I joined and was told to just put a warning every time I posted/replied.  I've been doing that but still have been feeling weird about posting.  I have considered taking down her picture, but doing that makes me feel too terrible.  She lost a lot in this miscarriage too, especially with regards to my time and attention as I go through it.  I just don't feel right removing her from another part of my life.

     I'm sure I'm just overly consious of what she's lost lately, but it's how I feel.  At the same time I don't want to be hurtful to anyone here, so maybe I should just move to the regular TTC board.  I have really appreciated the community here, even if only for the past couple of weeks!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    BFP 4.17.13   EDD 12.29.13  Miscarriage discovered at 8w3d

    BFP 10.7.13  EDD 6.20.14

    imageimage

    image

  • image MollySm:
    signbsp;I'm sorry if I've been a problem for people. nbsp;I asked when I joined and was told to just put a warning every time I posted/replied. nbsp;I've been doing that but still have been feeling weird about posting. nbsp;I have considered taking down her picture, but doing that makes me feel too terrible. nbsp;She lost a lot in this miscarriage too, especially with regards to my time and attention as I go through it. nbsp;I just don't feel right removing her from another part of my life. nbsp;I'm sure I'm just overly consious of what she's lost lately, but it's how I feel. nbsp;At the same time I don't want to be hurtful to anyone here, so maybe I should just move to the regular TTC board. nbsp;I have really appreciated the community here, even if only for the past couple of weeks!
    Your daughter isn't going to know you've taken down the photo. I understand wanting her included in your sig, it's the same reason I have a toddler ticker. He's a huge part of my life and I went through a lot to get him here. I removed DSs photo long before my last loss bc there were creepers stealing pics and bc TB was using people's pics on Pinterest and both things creeped me out. I loved looking at him when I posted, but it wasn't worth the risk of having the image used in ways I didn't approve of IMHO. There is nothing saying you HAVE to remove a pic to be here, just a lot of people saying it would be appreciated. After awhile the people who are bothered by your photo will recognize your SN and won't open your posts. No need to leave.

    ETA: Just took a peek at your sig to see what the photo in question was. She's adorable. If your loss is recent, our LOs were about the same age when our losses happened. I get that it does take a lot away from them as we go through this emotionally [and physically, at first]. Give me a shout on PAL or a PM me if you'd like to chat about that.

    BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11

    BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14

     

    Lilypie - (2llN)

    Lilypie - (2L9u)

     

      My Recipe Blog
    ~All AL'ers welcome~

  • image MollySm:

    *sig*

     

    I'm sorry if I've been a problem for people.  I asked when I joined and was told to just put a warning every time I posted/replied.  I've been doing that but still have been feeling weird about posting.  I have considered taking down her picture, but doing that makes me feel too terrible.  She lost a lot in this miscarriage too, especially with regards to my time and attention as I go through it.  I just don't feel right removing her from another part of my life.

     I'm sure I'm just overly consious of what she's lost lately, but it's how I feel.  At the same time I don't want to be hurtful to anyone here, so maybe I should just move to the regular TTC board.  I have really appreciated the community here, even if only for the past couple of weeks!

     

    I appreciate you being sensitive. She is adorable. I guess I am not sure I understand why she needs to be in your signature, how that impacts what she lost? I have no experience to speak from. By not having her picture in your signature you are not removing her from this part of "your life". You still would have a ticker with her birthday.  Do you have a picture of her on your car? Maybe think of it that way?  I don't know. I think it is silly that you would move to another board if you like and want to be part of this one. 


    imageimageimage
    TTC since 2.12 
    BFP 11.14.12 (MC 12.2.12) EDD 7.24.13 
    Dx: Unexplained IF 12.13, Endometriosis 1.14
    IUI#1+Clomid 1.3.14 Missed Ectopic identified 1.28.14 (EDD 9.26.14) Lap. Surgery
    IUI#2.0+Letrozole Cancelled 1.28.14. IUI#2.1+Letrozole Cancelled 4.22.14
    IVF 6 eggs Retrieved 5 Fertilized 7.22.14 1 Blastocyst Transfer 7.27.14 
    BFP 8.5.14 Due 4.15 Feeling hopeful.
      All Welcome

  • image snegde:
    image MollySm:

    *sig*

     

    I'm sorry if I've been a problem for people.  I asked when I joined and was told to just put a warning every time I posted/replied.  I've been doing that but still have been feeling weird about posting.  I have considered taking down her picture, but doing that makes me feel too terrible.  She lost a lot in this miscarriage too, especially with regards to my time and attention as I go through it.  I just don't feel right removing her from another part of my life.

     I'm sure I'm just overly consious of what she's lost lately, but it's how I feel.  At the same time I don't want to be hurtful to anyone here, so maybe I should just move to the regular TTC board.  I have really appreciated the community here, even if only for the past couple of weeks!

     

    I appreciate you being sensitive. She is adorable. I guess I am not sure I understand why she needs to be in your signature, how that impacts what she lost? I have no experience to speak from. By not having her picture in your signature you are not removing her from this part of "your life". You still would have a ticker with her birthday.  Do you have a picture of her on your car? Maybe think of it that way?  I don't know. I think it is silly that you would move to another board if you like and want to be part of this one. 

    I guess it's not that she needs to be in my siggy, so much as taking her out is too hard for me.  If that makes sense.  I completely recognize that it's ridiculous and not necessary for her, but (likely because of my extremely emotional, going through a miscarriage self) for me the act of removing her just feels so wrong.  The reason to move would be only because obviously other people are going through as much emotional stuff as I am, and knowing how hard this all is for me, I don't have any desire to make it harder for anyone else.   Maybe in a month or two removing her won't be a big deal to me, but for now it is.  

    Anyway, I didn't intend this post to be all about me.  I just wanted to apologize, because I had been wondering if this was frustrating to people here, and it turns out it is.   

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    BFP 4.17.13   EDD 12.29.13  Miscarriage discovered at 8w3d

    BFP 10.7.13  EDD 6.20.14

    imageimage

    image

  • image snegde:

    I believe the consensus is once you post a few times and people get to know you no signature warning is needed. I think toddler or kid ticker warnings are a lot easier to handle than pics. IMO I think your signature is fine. 

    That being said, as a Snegde on her soapbox FYI to others, if people plan on being regular posters on the board I think removing any baby/young toddler pics is a good idea. They are just hard to see for some members and out of courtesy to others I think removing them is the way to go. 

    This is why I removed the pic of my DS - so, I don't post a ticker warning every time but I removed his picture.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    BFP # 1 - 12/19/09 EDD 08/27/10 - D&C 1/26/10 @ 9w5d

    BFP # 2 - 06/05/10 EDD 02/17/11, DS1 born on 2/14/11

    BFP # 3 - 04/10/13 EDD 12/21/13 - D&C 05/15/13 @ 8w4d

    BFP # 4 - 07/27/13 EDD 04/08/14 - CP 07/29/13

     

    BFP # 5 - 09/14/13 EDD 05/28/14, DS2 born on 5/22/14 

  • image MollySm:
    image snegde:
    image MollySm:

     

    I appreciate you being sensitive. She is adorable. I guess I am not sure I understand why she needs to be in your signature, how that impacts what she lost? I have no experience to speak from. By not having her picture in your signature you are not removing her from this part of "your life". You still would have a ticker with her birthday.  Do you have a picture of her on your car? Maybe think of it that way?  I don't know. I think it is silly that you would move to another board if you like and want to be part of this one. 

    I guess it's not that she needs to be in my siggy, so much as taking her out is too hard for me.  If that makes sense.  I completely recognize that it's ridiculous and not necessary for her, but (likely because of my extremely emotional, going through a miscarriage self) for me the act of removing her just feels so wrong.  The reason to move would be only because obviously other people are going through as much emotional stuff as I am, and knowing how hard this all is for me, I don't have any desire to make it harder for anyone else.   Maybe in a month or two removing her won't be a big deal to me, but for now it is.  

    Anyway, I didn't intend this post to be all about me.  I just wanted to apologize, because I had been wondering if this was frustrating to people here, and it turns out it is.   

    I can't speak to whether it has been hurtful or not for others. I think then I agree with Junebug if you post then post a warning and eventually people will recognize and avoid if it is hurtful to them. I still think leaving is silly, TTCAL is such a good place. I think also over time if you do keep posting here it might be easier for your to remove her picture because you will have a better understanding of the community and the women in the community. 

    imageimageimage
    TTC since 2.12 
    BFP 11.14.12 (MC 12.2.12) EDD 7.24.13 
    Dx: Unexplained IF 12.13, Endometriosis 1.14
    IUI#1+Clomid 1.3.14 Missed Ectopic identified 1.28.14 (EDD 9.26.14) Lap. Surgery
    IUI#2.0+Letrozole Cancelled 1.28.14. IUI#2.1+Letrozole Cancelled 4.22.14
    IVF 6 eggs Retrieved 5 Fertilized 7.22.14 1 Blastocyst Transfer 7.27.14 
    BFP 8.5.14 Due 4.15 Feeling hopeful.
      All Welcome

  • image snegde:
    image MollySm:
    image snegde:
    image MollySm:

     

    I appreciate you being sensitive. She is adorable. I guess I am not sure I understand why she needs to be in your signature, how that impacts what she lost? I have no experience to speak from. By not having her picture in your signature you are not removing her from this part of "your life". You still would have a ticker with her birthday.  Do you have a picture of her on your car? Maybe think of it that way?  I don't know. I think it is silly that you would move to another board if you like and want to be part of this one. 

    I guess it's not that she needs to be in my siggy, so much as taking her out is too hard for me.  If that makes sense.  I completely recognize that it's ridiculous and not necessary for her, but (likely because of my extremely emotional, going through a miscarriage self) for me the act of removing her just feels so wrong.  The reason to move would be only because obviously other people are going through as much emotional stuff as I am, and knowing how hard this all is for me, I don't have any desire to make it harder for anyone else.   Maybe in a month or two removing her won't be a big deal to me, but for now it is.  

    Anyway, I didn't intend this post to be all about me.  I just wanted to apologize, because I had been wondering if this was frustrating to people here, and it turns out it is.   

    I can't speak to whether it has been hurtful or not for others. I think then I agree with Junebug if you post then post a warning and eventually people will recognize and avoid if it is hurtful to them. I still think leaving is silly, TTCAL is such a good place. I think also over time if you do keep posting here it might be easier for your to remove her picture because you will have a better understanding of the community and the women in the community. 

    As usual, snegde says what I can't quite articulate.
    I agree with what Junebug said too.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    BFP #1   8.29.12   EDD 5.8.13   MC 10.9.12   GusGus
    BFP #2   7.12.13   EDD 3.24.14   MC 7.26.13   Muggle
    RE Consult 8.22.13 for RPL testing
    Diagnosed with Factor V Leiden and MTHFR 
    IUI #1 10.11.13 w/gonal-f and ovidrel   BFP #3 & CP 10.25.13   Dot
    IUI #2 12.9.13 w/gonal-f and ovidrel   BFP #4 12.18.13   EDD 9.1.14
    Our rainbow, Eleanor Margaret born 8.27.14
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    imageimageimage  imageimage
    formerly lindsayhilleary
  • image MollySm:

    *sig*

     

    I'm sorry if I've been a problem for people.  I asked when I joined and was told to just put a warning every time I posted/replied.  I've been doing that but still have been feeling weird about posting.  I have considered taking down her picture, but doing that makes me feel too terrible.  She lost a lot in this miscarriage too, especially with regards to my time and attention as I go through it.  I just don't feel right removing her from another part of my life.

     I'm sure I'm just overly consious of what she's lost lately, but it's how I feel.  At the same time I don't want to be hurtful to anyone here, so maybe I should just move to the regular TTC board.  I have really appreciated the community here, even if only for the past couple of weeks!

    As PP have said, you get to enjoy her everyday.  Are there other boards that you frequent that ask to see a pic of DD?  I know EXACTLY how you feel as I've had two m/c prior to DD and two after so she is my absolute pride and joy but I just didn't feel it was necessary to have a siggy pic of her for this board. I have a FB account where my closest friends and family enjoy her pictures all the time.  In a community of internet "strangers" who are sad because they don't have any children I don't think it's necessary.   

    ETA: the women here are amazing and I think you'll learn that after being here for awhile.  I totally get where you're coming from and if you ever want to talk about being a mom after a loss, feel free to PM me anytime!!  

    BFP #1 October 2008 | m/c Thanksgiving weekend | November 2008 | 7 weeks 2 days

    BFP #2 February 2009 | m/c March 2009 | 4 weeks 3 days
    Testing on mom and dad for possible reasons all came back normal.
    BFP #3 8/4/2009 | DD born 3/28/10 @ 38 weeks
    BFP #4 5/13/11 | m/c 6/15/11 | 8 weeks 6 days
    BFP #5 2/13/13 | CP 2/19/13 | 4 weeks 
    BFP #6 3/21/14 | Heard the HB on 4/16 | m/c 4/21/14 | 9 weeks
    Testing results all returned normal and baby was a GIRL.
    More testing on mom and dad for other issues all returned normal results.

    "Dear Lord, I would have loved to have held my babies on my lap & tell them about you, but since I didn't get the chance, would you please hold them on your lap & tell them about me?"
    All are welcome!
  • MrsDeoMrsDeo
    Ancient Membership 250 Answers 2500 Comments 500 Love Its
    member
    image MollySm:

    *sig*

     

    I'm sorry if I've been a problem for people.  I asked when I joined and was told to just put a warning every time I posted/replied.  I've been doing that but still have been feeling weird about posting.  I have considered taking down her picture, but doing that makes me feel too terrible.  She lost a lot in this miscarriage too, especially with regards to my time and attention as I go through it.  I just don't feel right removing her from another part of my life.

     I'm sure I'm just overly consious of what she's lost lately, but it's how I feel.  At the same time I don't want to be hurtful to anyone here, so maybe I should just move to the regular TTC board.  I have really appreciated the community here, even if only for the past couple of weeks!

    If anyone else has a differing opinion, please chime in on this idea (I don't personally mind seeing the pics anyways, it's "real life" acquaintances' kids pics that bother me.) But what about posting a family pic instead of just her? I know there are a couple of family photos with the kids in them floating around, and that seems more subtle/easier to scroll past than a photo of just one baby/toddler.

    imageimageimage

    2 previous losses; BFP #3 12/7/13  -- Juliet arrived 8/18/14image
  • MrsDeoMrsDeo
    Ancient Membership 250 Answers 2500 Comments 500 Love Its
    member
    Bump burp - these keep happening the last couple days!!!

    imageimageimage

    2 previous losses; BFP #3 12/7/13  -- Juliet arrived 8/18/14image
  • Sig

     

    Thanks everyone.  Again, it's nothing to do with the women on this board, who I know are amaxing.  Just a hard step for me.  I am on her birth board.  I will change to a family pic.  And either way I would definitely still lurk here, because I am finding being on this board to be super helpful.  For now I'll try the change and keep doing what I'm doing.  But please don't hesitate to tell me if it's too much.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    BFP 4.17.13   EDD 12.29.13  Miscarriage discovered at 8w3d

    BFP 10.7.13  EDD 6.20.14

    imageimage

    image

  • image MollySm:

    Sig

     

    Thanks everyone.  Again, it's nothing to do with the women on this board, who I know are amaxing.  Just a hard step for me.  I am on her birth board.  I will change to a family pic.  And either way I would definitely still lurk here, because I am finding being on this board to be super helpful.  For now I'll try the change and keep doing what I'm doing.  But please don't hesitate to tell me if it's too much.

    IMO the family pics (especially small ones like most people have) are easier. Thank you for changing it. I know it's greatly appreciated. 

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    BFP #1   8.29.12   EDD 5.8.13   MC 10.9.12   GusGus
    BFP #2   7.12.13   EDD 3.24.14   MC 7.26.13   Muggle
    RE Consult 8.22.13 for RPL testing
    Diagnosed with Factor V Leiden and MTHFR 
    IUI #1 10.11.13 w/gonal-f and ovidrel   BFP #3 & CP 10.25.13   Dot
    IUI #2 12.9.13 w/gonal-f and ovidrel   BFP #4 12.18.13   EDD 9.1.14
    Our rainbow, Eleanor Margaret born 8.27.14
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    imageimageimage  imageimage
    formerly lindsayhilleary
  • image lindsayhilleary:
    image MollySm:

    Sig

     

    Thanks everyone.  Again, it's nothing to do with the women on this board, who I know are amaxing.  Just a hard step for me.  I am on her birth board.  I will change to a family pic.  And either way I would definitely still lurk here, because I am finding being on this board to be super helpful.  For now I'll try the change and keep doing what I'm doing.  But please don't hesitate to tell me if it's too much.

    IMO the family pics (especially small ones like most people have) are easier. Thank you for changing it. I know it's greatly appreciated. 

    I agree with this. I have no qualms with your new pic Smile I hope you stick around TB!

     

    ETA: I have no qualms, but I should also add that it is a very cute pic!

    married my best friend 10/04/08, TTC since July 2012
    BFP#1 Thanksgiving 11/22/12, mo-mo twins(one sac), traditional EDD 7/27/13, EDD due to risk 6/15/13
    mmc Angel 2/7/13 @ 15w3d, mmc Aubrey 2/13/13 @ 16w2d, D&E 2/16/13

    BFP#2 9/21/13, EDD 6/2/14, DD born 5/17/14 

    image image image

    All AL always welcome in my threads!

  • image SandSunBliss:
    image lindsayhilleary:
    image MollySm:

    Sig

     

    Thanks everyone.  Again, it's nothing to do with the women on this board, who I know are amaxing.  Just a hard step for me.  I am on her birth board.  I will change to a family pic.  And either way I would definitely still lurk here, because I am finding being on this board to be super helpful.  For now I'll try the change and keep doing what I'm doing.  But please don't hesitate to tell me if it's too much.

    IMO the family pics (especially small ones like most people have) are easier. Thank you for changing it. I know it's greatly appreciated. 

    I agree with this. I have no qualms with your new pic Smile I hope you stick around TB!

    This! Thanks!  Smile 

    BFP #1 October 2008 | m/c Thanksgiving weekend | November 2008 | 7 weeks 2 days

    BFP #2 February 2009 | m/c March 2009 | 4 weeks 3 days
    Testing on mom and dad for possible reasons all came back normal.
    BFP #3 8/4/2009 | DD born 3/28/10 @ 38 weeks
    BFP #4 5/13/11 | m/c 6/15/11 | 8 weeks 6 days
    BFP #5 2/13/13 | CP 2/19/13 | 4 weeks 
    BFP #6 3/21/14 | Heard the HB on 4/16 | m/c 4/21/14 | 9 weeks
    Testing results all returned normal and baby was a GIRL.
    More testing on mom and dad for other issues all returned normal results.

    "Dear Lord, I would have loved to have held my babies on my lap & tell them about you, but since I didn't get the chance, would you please hold them on your lap & tell them about me?"
    All are welcome!
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