Dads & Dads-to-be

Some advice please?

Hey guys, 

(yes, an ae)

My DH and I have had some rough patches and I'm newly pregnant w our 2 nd baby. So maybe my hormones are getting the best of me.. My DH best friend is a complete womanizer. My DH has never seemed that way. A year ago we had some issues that were out of character for him but no cheating was ever confirmed and he swears nothing ever happened, just really drunk. I have tried to move past it and we recently talked counseling to help.

fast forward to a week ago and I found out the two of them have been talking about a good friend of mine and how hot she is. And then that DH was telling him about a hot single mom that started working downstairs from him.. His friend kept telling him "no"..

 I'm all over the place with emotions... Is that normal guy talk? I mean, I have talked to my girl friends about hot guys etc... Just having the issues a year ago and hearing this, it makes me sick. Am I being paranoid? Are guys friends with womanizers with out being one too?  

No clue what to do. He has no idea I know this..

thanks guys.. 

Re: Some advice please?

  • I don't know your husband. We're working on the same information you are. Also, since you're posting as an AE, why not be a bit more specific on your issues? Are you worried he or someone you know will see it and know it's you?

    I will say that some married guys like to live vicariously through their single guy friends. Commenting on the "hotness" of various women is not uncommon. Especially if a friend brings it up; no one wants to be the boring guy who shoots down interesting discussions.

     Without more information, there's not much that can really be said.
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • Nope, no guys at my work ever talk about how hot the interns or co-ops are.  We also never look at the women at work.  We put our blinders on before we leave the house and don't take them off until we get home.

     Sorry for the sarcasm, but everywhere I have ever worked whether it was in the Navy as an enlisted personnel, working third shift factory, or as a white collar engineer, we all sooner or later talk about the women we work with or at least look at them.  I can't proof it, but I really think one of my female coworkers actually prints things off at the printer near my desk to make sure that she is still hot.  I also know a woman that went to school with my sister that keeps in good enough shape that she wants guys to check out her body.  So to a degree it goes both ways.

    Should you be worried?  As long as his work schedule doesn't all of a sudden change for no good reason then I wouldn't worry about it.  Also, as long as it is just looking what is the harm?

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  • I can tell you, I love my wife a literal metric sh!t ton. And she is on the Oct13 board and here often. Just because I'm on a diet, doesn't mean I'm blind. Doesn't matter how loyal you are to your wife/GF a man will either agree, or prompt such conversations when the opportunity presents itself.


    Whether or not he's a complete D-Bag, and actually acts upon the admittedly vulgar things we often say. Well that's up to you, and your therapy I suppose. 

  • Even the most committed men look at other women.  It is in our DNA.  I am very committed to my wife, but I still find myself looking.  However, no matter how hot the woman may be, I always follow up the look with "I love my wife and she, nor any other woman, is worth throwing away what we have".  Talking about attractive women we see is part of the male bonding experience.  The main thing is, as long as it stays looking and talking, and not obsessing or actually doing anything, you are OK.
  • I would worry if he wasn't looking at women!! That means he is checking out the men. ;-)
  • Thanks guys. I think I was just having an overly sensitive day.. Appreciate the responses. :)
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