February 2012 Moms

Talk to me about drop ins

Am I the only person who doesn't want people to drop by for a visit unannounced? Does everyone have a house that's always ready for guests? If you were a SAHM, would you always be groomed and dressed for guests? Wednesday is our stay at home all day day! Getting dressed for the day consists of changing into another pair of pajamas.
Managing tree nut (me), peanut & egg (DS) allergies.

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Re: Talk to me about drop ins

  • jk382jk382
    100 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its
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    I am basically a SAHM (I am an RN and only work on Saturday).  Nolan just started napping well and STTN.  I would be really upset if someone just dropped by and woke him up!  Plus, my house isn't always clean!  Most people know to text before dropping in!  
  • I used to have people drop in all the time when I consulted and had more flexibility.  My house was not always spotless, nor was I,  but that was OK.  I loved it.  We had a ton of friends at that point.  Now I work full time and in a small house - that makes a huge difference.  I am hoping that when we again have a playroom to keep the kids' clutter out of the rest of the living spaces AND I no longer have a baby AND the kids will be walking home from school that I will make new friends and have people drop in more.
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  • I don't do drop-ins...in fact, I get really ticked off when people show up unannounced.  I think it stems back to right after we got home from the hospital after having DS and people felt like it would be appropriate to do this...all the time.  This, of course, was majorly inconvenient and inconsiderate to a breastfeeding, sleep-deprived new mom, and we stopped answering the door.  Ever since then, I've adopted the attitude of if I'm not expecting you, then I'm not answering the door.  I'm a teacher and live in the area of my school, and can you believe my students' parents actually would bring my students by to "say hi" after I got home from the hospital and while on maternity leave?!?  That's when we really kept the blinds shut and stopped answering the door! 
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  • Heck no. I am always in pj's and the house is always a mess until 30 mintues before H gets home. My GMIL dropped by unannounced and I made her leave. I know people, though, that welcome people at any time, no matter the time or if they called ahead of time. I call them crazy. (: 


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  • I don't believe in drop ins.  Call at least 10-15 minutes before showing up or I may not answer.  This is the good part about us moving further out, no one just drops by because it is at least 15 minutes out of the way no matter where you're going.
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  • Does everyone have a house that's always ready for guests?

    Yes, I live in a Tri-level. The living area is on the 2nd floor. My living area is always ready for guest. My kid's toys are really the only clutter we have going on. And picking all that up just means throwing them in to baskets. There is a half bath off that level that we never use so it's always clean.

    I'm insane about dishes being left in the sink. They either get washed right away or in the dishwasher. But if they went upstairs to the bedrooms they would look like a bomb went off.

    If you were a SAHM, would you always be groomed and dressed for guests? When I was on maternity leave I made it a point to be dressed by 10 a.m. And my hair is always in a pony tail or a headband. I don't like staying in my PJs all day, I usually throw on a tee with some cotton shorts or yoga pants.

    * I do have a cleaning service come in every 2 weeks so that makes general tidiness alot easier for me to maintain.

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  • I think it's just out right rude to just show up at someone's house!!!  Whether you're a SAHM or WM!  If I was in the area and wanted to stop by and see someone, I'd always call first...hey, I'm in the area, would you be up for company/mind if we came by.  And if someone said, no, hey I'm perfectly ok with that.  If I'm at home for the day, with no plans to go anywhere (which are rare occasions) I'm not getting dressed, might not shower, and am sure as heck not putting on a bra.  So, if someone were to just stop by I'd be a little irritated.

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  • image Mar5195:

    My kid's toys are really the only clutter we have going on. And picking all that up just means throwing them in to baskets. 

    Yes, but the point being it still needs picked up before guests come in. There's no time if they are unannounced and push their way inside.  

    I don't like staying in my PJs all day, I usually throw on a tee with some cotton shorts or yoga pants.

    yoga pants and a tee aren't pajamas? 

    Managing tree nut (me), peanut & egg (DS) allergies.

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  • Starbuck: I like cute jammies. I love wearing them put them on pretty much as soon as I go home. But once I'm up I like to be in fresh pair of clothes. I get sweaty with my Mister and dog snuggling with me.
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  • I am a working mom, but, as a teacher, I am home in the summer. It takes me ten seconds to throw H's toys in baskets, and, while we're not always freshly dusted and vacuumed, we keep things tidy enough that I'd always feel comfortable having guests in (no dishes, no food out, etc.). I shower after I run during H's nap, but I wash up and put on fresh clothes when I get up at 6:30, so I'm always decent.

    That said, I dont think preparedness is the issue at all. I think it's just terribly rude to show up at a friend or family member's house unannounced.  I know other families have a different dynamic, but I can't imagine just turning up without asking at any relative's home (save my sweet, departed grandmother). Should you have to be ready at all times? No way. Even if you are, home is a sanctuary. I can't imagine not giving someone the chance to tell me "it's not a good time" without my awkwardly standing on the stoop.

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  • Not okay-  I don't care how nice my house looks or how nice I look.

    If I didn't know you were coming, I probably had other stuff I was planning to do with that time and will be annoyed that you are disrupting me.  Call ahead even just 5 minutes and I'm good to go- stop on by.  For some reason that allows my brain time to "readjust" my day's plans.

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  • Growing up, my dad never liked having guests. Planned or unplanned. So maybe it's just because I've been lacking, but I would love to have a home where people felt comfortable stopping by unannounced! 
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  • We don't have drop-ins.  But most of our family and friends live at least 20 minutes away.  They call before leaving to make sure we'll be home or to see if we're up for visitors.  The only exception is my parents.  They only live 5 minutes away.  So my dad has been known to drop by unannounced.  He does know this is unacceptable, he's just a grumpy 60 year old man who doesn't like to listen.  I usually get about 10 minutes of warning from them.  But it's my parents so if they see my house a mess, oh well.

    As for my house, unless we are having a function, it is rarely spotless.  I try for picked up most days.  I'm not a SAHM but if I was I would not be dressed for guests all the time.  And that would be the uninvited guest's fault for however they see me.

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  • I wouldn't mind. Growing up, we always had drop ins/visits. My best friends and their parents just walk into our houses still now without knocking. I try to look presentable (I SAH now) most days, but if I'm in my gym gear It's ok.  I keep the house clean enough- I deep clean 1x a week, try to do my dishes right away and straighten up along the way- however it's not, always the case. I grew up with many people always coming over and so I actually really like when people come by.  I can see why it may bother others, but I enjoy it.
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  • image Ainslie325:

    That said, I dont think preparedness is the issue at all. I think it's just terribly rude to show up at a friend or family member's house unannounced.  I know other families have a different dynamic, but I can't imagine just turning up without asking at any relative's home (save my sweet, departed grandmother). Should you have to be ready at all times? No way. Even if you are, home is a sanctuary. I can't imagine not giving someone the chance to tell me "it's not a good time" without my awkwardly standing on the stoop.

     

    Perfectly said. My MIL was a horrible pain about this (and still is). She has- and welcomes- unannoucned visits at her home, but we don't believe in it so we don't do it. Trying to get her to understand this has been a major cross to bear. One time, while I was on maternity leave, I didn't answer the door and found her looking in my windows.  And she didn't think there was anything wrong with that! 

    It's really about setting up appropriate boundaries- and unannounced visits violate that. 

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  • mkarnsmkarns
    250 Answers 2500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its
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    I like drop ins as long as they come with no expectations. I've always liked a nice surprise visit. 

    My Colton...Growing up so fast!

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    And Coralee, his baby sister...On the way!

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  • image katea81:
    One time, while I was on maternity leave, I didn't answer the door and found her looking in my windows.  And she didn't think there was anything wrong with that! 

    Did that scare you? One time that I didn't answer the door, MIL pulled on the door a few times to try to open it. Then she tried to open the windows in the living room. I have regular nightmares that one day she'll come back, break-in and try to hurt me and Cody.  

    Managing tree nut (me), peanut & egg (DS) allergies.

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  • joie12joie12
    100 Comments Second Anniversary
    member
    My house is never company-ready, even if I'm expecting company! I love getting drop-ins. I also don't have any hesitation dropping in. We used to do that all the time growing up; it was never for very long, more like a "hey, we were in the neighborhood, hi-bye" kind of thing. 
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