Parenting after 35

Tired how normal is this.

Hi all, I'm feeling old and TIRED these days, and starting to wonder if its my age or just being mom to a six month old.  I'm 38, will be 39 in September.  (We started ttc when i was 35 and i took me two years to get pg with DS who is now 6 months). and lately I am feeling absolutely bone tired.  I still do all the mom/baby stuff, but just about everything else (cooking, cleaning, laundry, exercise, returning emails and calls from friends) is falling by the wayside or really really delayed.   For a couple months I was pretty energetic, but now I'm getting by on the bare minimum.

DS still does not sttn yet so I'm up with him every two to three hours over night nursing. We are starting to consider TTC #2, but to be honest, I'm so tired now I can't imagine having two.  Am I just too old for this, or is this just six months of interrupted sleep catching up with me?

and did it get any better energy wise for you when your LO started sleeping through the night?

 Thanks for your commiseration, ladies.

 

Re: Tired how normal is this.

  • I could have written your post almost word for word. DD is 13 months now and has never been a great sleeper, so I still feel pretty exhausted all of the time. My house is a total mess too.

    I honestly can't imagine having a second child at this point, but we always planned to be one and done. I think if it's something you want, you'll be able to make it work. Of course, I could just be delirious because DD is sick and I've barely had any sleep the past week. LOL


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  • My DS is 21 months and is still up once a night.  he just wants to snuggle or get in bed with me.  Its only a few minutes but it kills me in the morning.  I never drank coffee or much caffeine before having DS but since I went back to work I have become a semi-coffee drinker.  And by semi-coffee I am talking lattes and frappaccinos from Starbucks that don't really taste like coffee (i hate the taste of coffee still).

    I think it's just mom tired.  So much going on, haven't STTN in months, etc.

    DS2 is arriving in October and I am dreading the NB phase again.

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  • It has nothing to do with your age. I felt this way with my first and I was 30 at the time. It WILL get better when he starts sleeping thru the night. Interrupted sleep (even when you get 6-8 hours total) is not the same as getting a full night's sleep. I can so understand you not wanting to TTC right now. I waited until first DS was 2 before I could even think about TTC again. But if it makes you feel any better, the 2nd baby is sooo much easier. You have lots of experience and not so quick to jump up and panic. You're also more willing to let baby cry a little longer so they can self soothe. My first DS woke up once a night for his 2am feeding (even after I stopped nursing) well into 18 months. My second DS started sleeping thru the night at 2 months. Other moms would tell me that the first child is the practice child for you to make all your mistakes. I didn't like hearing it at the time when I only had one child, but it is true.

  • Thanks, ladies for the encouragement.  I can see my situation in all of your posts.  I have also become a semi-coffee drinker, and count my daily latte as a reward for having gotten out of the house!   I'm glad to hear it becomes easier with number two.  Given my age, and how long it took me to get pg with #1 my window for conceiving number two is swiftly closing, so its kind if a now or never thing.  I think we'll leave it up to fate at this point, and if number two comes that will be great.  If not we are happy with just one too.

     Ps.  Elf...I also got pg waiting for IVF to start.  My baby is definitely a miracle child as well!

     

  • steverstever
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    I was indescribably tired until DS1 was well over 1. We weren't totally sure we'd TTC again anyway, but there's no way I would have considered it before DS1 turned 2.

    That said, he was an exceptionally bad sleeper and we conceived him easily. If we got a bit more sleep or if we had fertility issues the first time we probably would have hopped to mush earlier.

  • mwdmwd
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    It does get better when your LO sleeps through the night. But, don't overlook having your thyroid checked as well. 
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  • I think you answered your own question...  Get three days in a row of sustained sleep and finish up the BF and you're going to see an energy shift.  BF can sap your energy just as much as a lack of sleep, add in age and it's a recipe for exhaustion.

    For me, the energy level didn't improve until I got the thyroid levels leveled.  Once that happened along with some sustained/consistent sleep, everything balanced.  (along with being done EP!)

     

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  • I would think that 6 mos without a full night's rest is catching up with you. Is there anyone that could take care of your LO for one night at least so you can get some sleep? I recall that when DS was not yet sleeping through the night I felt like I would just collapse. It was a horrible time period for me and I really felt at the end of my rope. When DS did start sleeping through the night it was absolute bliss. Of course I was still tired caring for a LO but I wasn't "beyond exhausted" anymore.

    Hope things get better for you soon.

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  • I'm nearly 44.  I've been bone tired for nearly 7 years now.  Getting a bit of energy back lately (kids are 4.5 and 6).

    Are you pregnant?  I remember feeling unusually tired when DS1 was 10 months old and sure enough, I was knocked up again (we were trying). 

    Seriously, to this day if I have an hour or more to myself, I always think that taking a nap is clearly the very best idea.

    Hang in there.

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  • Just lurking, but I wanted to add that you should have your iron levels checked.

    When DD was around 6 months, I was so tired all the time. But it seemed more than just "baby tired" .  had some bloodwork done, iron practically zero.  within a week of supplements, I could feel the difference.

     

    hope that helps. 

     

     

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  • I definitely think it's normal, and that most of it is just months of broken sleep catching up on you.

    Having said that, I was wretchedly tired after DD2 (She was maybe 10mths old). DD2 had never STTN, and I assumed it was months of broken sleep. But one day I decided to run it past my Dr because I simply didn't have the energy for anything beyond what HAD to happen.

    I ended up having a thyroid issue (which is reasonably common post pregnancy, I'm told). A few weeks on medication and I felt like a new woman.

    So I agree with pp that it can be worth getting some blood work done. It could be iron levels. It could be your thyroid. It could be something else. It could just be dealing with the lack of sleep. But it's worth checking because a lot of minor issues have really simple solutions. 

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  • image mwd:
    It does get better when your LO sleeps through the night. But, don't overlook having your thyroid checked as well. 

    I agree with this, along with making sure your iron and vitamin D levels are good.  Although, to be honest, I just had my thyroid levels checked and mine are wonderful and I'm still bone tired.  I found that going out for a walk after dinner helps me feel a little more awake in the evenings so that I'm not wanting to fall asleep right after the kids are in bed and then I also assume it's because I'm 41 and have four kids under 7, with two being under two.

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  • KL777KL777
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    I think it's more so that your LO doesn't sleep through the night yet.  Try to sleep when the baby sleeps, be sure to eat plenty of vegetables, and take a multiple vitamin.  I still took the prenatal vitamin when I was nursing.

    I'm tired also and DS starts kindergarten this year (I'm 39). I try to go to bed early, eat veggies often, take my multiple vitamin, and try to give myself some downtime on a regular basis.

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  • image smit5009:

    I would think that 6 mos without a full night's rest is catching up with you. Is there anyone that could take care of your LO for one night at least so you can get some sleep?

     

    I experienced this to and was fortunate that my mother cared for my son one or two nights (not in a row) and fed him pumped milk at 2:00AM.  It was amazing how much it helped to be able to sleep just one night.  It also helped to be relieved of the responsibility of caring for him.  Not only could I sleep uninterrupted, but I wasn't constantly "listening for him" and was able to sleep well.  That period of time was really hard.  I remember the first time he STTN....I tried to recreate it over and over (didn't work)...eventually he became consistent. 

    Good luck. It will get better.

  • While long term sleep deprivation may very well be the cause, I developed hypothyroidism between my pregnancies & that is not uncommon. You might consider getting your thyroid checked next time you have an appt w/your doc.
  • I second getting checked out by the doc. But it's also completely normal. I can say for a fact it's not your age, I was just as tired with a 6 month old at 23 as I was at 38. But it definitely does get easier as they get older, and after each kid. I wasn't nearly as tired this last go around as I was with my first. I remember being beyond dead on my feet and I'd be out cold if I sat down.

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  • I'm in the same boat. Exhausted 24/7.   After almost 7 months of being a new mom and bf/pumping daily, I crashed hard with a fever and all.  It is hard to ask for help, but I'm learning it the hard way.  Hang in there, ladies...
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