Babies: 0 - 3 Months

MIL vent

DD is a week old. It's been great with all the help from MIL but I'm starting to get overwhelmed. We've been to our house this entire week and I'm really wanting to just have some nice quiet nights at home without companyjust me, DD, and DH. If I say anything to her, she's get overly dramatic and upset. What's a polite way to say please back off a bit? I'm just feeling bombarded with all the people stopping by. The biggest complaint I've had is tomorrow is DH and my anniversary and we had planned on just having a nice quiet evening with DD but mil said she wanted to kidnap her for the night, and I'm not ready for anyone to take her just yet.

Re: MIL vent

  • If it were me, I'd be honest with her and tell her what you said here. It doesn't sound irrational at all. What does DH think? Have him approach her and back you up maybe?
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  • I wouldn't leave my LO with anyone even now at 4 weeks old. You might just have to be direct even if it offends her.
  • ONE week old?  All you have to say is no.  That is an unreasonable request / expectation of your mother in law.  The rest of it... you and your DH will have to figure out how to approach.  But a flat-out "N-O" to the request that she take your ONE week old is completely reasonable.

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    Either let your DH handle it or set boundaries now. You risk offending her, but if she gets her way, it could be the start of a pattern. And one week old is an unreasonable age to expect to take the baby for any amount of time. You are the parent. Grandparents are important, but they don't call the shots. 
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    Either let your DH handle it or set boundaries now. You risk offending her, but if she gets her way, it could be the start of a pattern. And one week old is an unreasonable age to expect to take the baby for any amount of time. You are the parent. Grandparents are important, but they don't call the shots. 

    Yep.  This.  Just bite the bullet and put your foot down now because it only gets worse if you don't.

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  • image JSS1002:
    ONE week old?nbsp; All you have to say is no.nbsp; That is an unreasonable request / expectation of your mother in law.nbsp; The rest of it... you and your DH will have to figure out how to approach.nbsp; But a flatout "NO" to the request that she take your ONE week old is completely reasonable.


    This without question.
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  • My MIL had similar intentions. When she suggested we leave our 3 week old son with her we informed her that it wouldn't be happening for the first year, at least.
  • My LO is 8 weeks old and I can't imagine anyone watching her until at least 3 months, but that's just me.

    If you are BFing you already have the perfect excuse for no babysitting!

    I would talk to your DH and have him deal with his MIL.
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  • DH and I agreed that if any issues came up with the grandparents we would each handle our respective set. He should be the one to tell his mother that you 2 are going to have a family night for your anniversary and he should also set boundaries with her. And don't let people bombard you this early. Say you don't want visitors for a few days or week and stick to it. I hope people aren't stopping by unannounced. I would've flipped out on someone for just popping in without calling first in those first few weeks since the majority of the time I was wearing a nursing tank with no bra because DD was eating constantly. 
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    Either let your DH handle it or set boundaries now. You risk offending her, but if she gets her way, it could be the start of a pattern. And one week old is an unreasonable age to expect to take the baby for any amount of time. You are the parent. Grandparents are important, but they don't call the shots. 

    This!! She was a new mother at one point, so she should know the importance of you needing space & it should not offend her. If it does, say "Oh well" because the baby is yours. My DS will be 11 weeks tomorrow & I just went back to work. I hate leaving him, but I know my mom will take good care of him (I'm the oldest of 6, with the youngest being 11 months & my LO is the 1st grandbaby)

     Also, having a ton of visitors is overwhelming! Just kindly let everyone know that you and DH need some time to adjust to having LO home and would love the company, but you just aren't ready for it yet. 

    Good Luck with your decision! 

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