Didn't want to take away from the other post, but you wrote this, "DD2 doesn't show much change between home and elsewhere yet, but that's not saying much because her sleep is crap anyway. Her naps are 5-30 min long and at night she wakes up every hour."
Just wanted to say my son is the same. I am about to lose it. My husband stayed home today to help me and I basically let him take care of the baby all day bc my frustration tolerance is currently at 0. We are currently waking up every hour at LEAST during the night.
I'm guessing you don't have any advice--I sure don't--but figured I could at least commiserate.