I've been thinking about this lately. I agree that it is SUPER SUPER annoying to be constantly grilled and told you are doing a Bad Bad Thing by having a one and only. But it seems to me that there's a lot of defensiveness too. I sure feel it, and sometimes I am questioning my own position, when truly my mind is made up!
I mean, I can only control our own reaction. I can't stop people from being annoying about this, I don't think that will change in my lifetime. So, I'm thinking of just sort of giving people a blank stare or not really acknowledging these sorts of things that people say.
I guess I think that when it comes right down to it, I feel like if I engage too deeply in an argument that is fundamentally flawed and 'unwinnable', I give the other side some weight and power that it shouldn't have.
I mean I do get angry and annoyed, but I don't want to spend my darn life educating people about onlies or sharing my reasons. I want to just ignore it, the way I ignore other stupid things people say to me.
It is nice that there are authors and so on educating people about onlies for sure. I just wonder how we can, as parents, can feel less defensive, or reduce the likelihood we do feel that way.