Working Moms

When is the right time to tell your work that you're expecting?

I am 10 weeks pregnant, and we also have two 5 year olds at home (we each have one from previous relationships). I just started my job that I'm at now in the beginning of March (about 3 1/2months ago). We also just bought a new house and are closing and moving this weekend! So, a lot has been happening since I have started this new position. Not to mention, the part-time girl that comes in the evenings just quit with no notice so I had to pick up the extra hours and I am now the only employee with the Dr. I work for.

With all this new change and busy schedule with kids and packing when possible, I have been so nervous to tell my boss about our exciting news! I definitely can't afford to not work and don't want him to think I can't juggle everything, because I want to. Should I wait until things calm down at home and in the office before telling him or is it best to tell him immediately?

Re: When is the right time to tell your work that you're expecting?

  • I told my office at almost 13 weeks, after the NT scan.  I mostly wanted to tell them sooner rather than later because there was no hiding that I was getting bigger (even if it was mostly bloat at that point).  But I also did it in 2 stages.  I told my bosses and then said 'we can sit down in a month or so to hammer out my maternity leave details" so they just knew about the baby but didn't didn't to jump into a conversation they weren't ready for.
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  • After I started to show - 10 weeks. 

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  • I waited til 17 weeks with the first pregnancy then 20 weeks with this one.  Simply because I wasn't showing yet and didn't have to.

    I say take your time if you have that luxury and let the world settle. 

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  • Is your pregnancy public yet with friends and family?  That's when I told at work, which was about 12 weeks, after the NT scan.  I had a couple previous losses, so I was waiting as long as I could, but also had to tell my boss sooner rather than later for safety issues since I'm law enforcement. 

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  • I waited as long as possible.  Some people started to suspect.  I think I told at 13 weeks the 1st time and 15-16 weeks the second time.  I liked waiting so I had less questions etc, also it gives you more time to wow your boss since you are not eligible for FMLA. 
  • It really depends on your individual situation. I told my boss about this pregnancy at 7 weeks. He was asking about staffing needs in the next year or so, and I didn't want him making decisions without knowing I would be out on ML for 3 months (during our busy season no less!) in that time frame. However, I've been with my company for 8 years, and been through one pregnancy and ML with them previously (with the same boss even). I hadn't planned on telling him until about 8 weeks (after my first OB appt), but I felt that it was best in the situation. My boss appreciated my being so open, and kept it to himself until I was ready to reveal to the rest of my team. 

     In your situation, I'd probably wait a bit unless you are having symptoms that make it obvious or are starting to show. Then just make sure you are honest and up front about what you feel you can handle etc...  

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  • I am 8 weeks and told 3 people already this week. I am already having some minor complications and my doc has said I need to take it easy. Because of my job, I needed to tell my boss that so she didn't think I was just slacking! There is another guy I work with very closely that knows me well enough that I wouldn't be able to hide it when I'm pulling snacks out of my purse! I have a 10 month old and was at the same job and have been for 5 years so people know me really well. - It wont take long for them to figure it out. The 3rd person I told just cause he is a friend and I wanted to! :)
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  • I told my job when I was 12 weeks.  I had to tell them in order to make my class schedule.  I wanted to wait a few more weeks before I told them but couldn't. 

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  • Ideally, I would have waited until my second tri.  However, because we signed up for our university's daycare waitlist, and they warned us that they might be contacting our departments to verify employment... I told my boss at 8 or 9 weeks.  Everyone else found out after 13 weeks.
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  • After 1st tri.

    It sounds like you're an extra-dependable person if you're able to put in extra hours at work, even with all your outside activity.

    You have the added "benefit" of having someone up and quit with no notice-you telling your boss early on (and stating that you two can formulate a plan later) is giving him a heads up and he's likely to appreciate your being up front about it. That comes across as being concerned about your job and office functioning properly.

  • cltk12cltk12
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments
    I told my boss at 22 weeks when I couldn't hide my bump anymore.
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  • I would wait as long as you can. I waited until 14 weeks, but I didn't start showing until 18-20 weeks. I could have put it off but a co-worker of mine came to doggie sit one night when we were out of town and saw pregnancy books everywhere! haha, the cat was out of the bag at that point.
  • Generally speaking, I say after your first trimester is over.

    I told my boss very early on because I was so sick and, also, because I just felt like it was the right thing to do because I work in a small office and I wanted to give him as much time as possible.

    My DH had an employee who did not tell him until only about 6 weeks before her due date. (Actually, she never told him. He finally heard her say something about it.)  And he has a small business and she had a position where he had to hire a fill-in replacement while she was out on maternity leave because his business could not run without her.  It put him in a HUGE bind because she ended up getting pulled from work only a couple of weeks after he learned about the pregnancy and had not been able to get a fill-in. So, in being in the situation from that perspective, I definitely thing earlier is better and I think employers appreciate an early warning....with that said, I still would not tell them until after the first tri. (As an aside, in my DH's situation, you really could not tell the employee was pregnant by looking at her until the very end.  DH had started suspecting it a few weeks beforehand and mentioned it to me, but I told him not to ask as I felt like such a question could be misconstrued and potentially be very embarrassing for both parties if she wasn't pregnant.)

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