December 2011 Moms

More Kids

I always wanted lots of kids, but whenever I see my sister or SIL, I totally change my mind. I don't know if it's just their kids or if most kids are like that. Do you know of any well behaved families? Do kids act crazy when people are around and get back to themselves when people leave again? I swear, they are just nuts and it makes me really reconsider having another one. My nephew kept walking between DS and his feeding pump so both my SIL and myself were constantly telling him to watch his step so he didn't trip over DS's tube. I don't get worried that other people would pull his tube out completely, but SIL kept reminding her kids not to pull it. It just reiterated the fact that DS is different.

I absolutely love our life with DS, maybe we'll just be one and done.  

Re: More Kids

  • My cousin has 4 kids, and she raises them essentially by herself (her husband lives with them but he really doesn't participate). The oldest is almost 12 and the youngest is 16 months. They are happy, energetic kids, and they certainly get into their share of mischief, but they are polite, follow directions, behave at mealtimes and in church, and are generally just nice to be around. My cousin is pretty much my parenting hero. She reminds me that it's possible to have a large family without the kids being completely out of control. I have no idea how she does it.
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  • I have 3 nephews and they are crazy and wild and don't listen very well. DH was hesitant to have children in the first place, because he was afraid they would be like that. 

    I realize that kids will only do what you let them do though and we are fairly consistent with Alex's boundaries. So far it's working, so I think we could hopefully handle 2 kids well and end up with "good/well behaved" kids.  

    DS born 12/2011
    DD born 03/2014

  • It is possible but every kid is so different, that their version of "good" behavior may differ. For instance in a home with the exact same boundaries, limit setting, and standards my brothers and I are all different and had different behavior challenges. Same goes in my house. DS1 is soft spoken, quiet and listens like our word is the gospel. DS2 while given the same standards and directions, needs lots of redirection, and lots of different parenting strategies to maintain him quietly in any space for any length of time. So to me crazy and good are relative terms. 

    HOWEVER parents must set the limit, kids will only act crazy if you allow it. While I am sure DS2 in my family would love to be naked in public, scream at the top of his lungs all the time, we won't allow it, and if he starts acting up in public or at home he is redirected, and/or removed from the situation. 

    It sounds like your SIL needs to firm up her expectations when her kids are around your son, or anyone else for that matter.  

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