DH and I moved back to Ontario from New Brunswick after having been gone for 6 years (me 6, him 2). The friends that I had here I am no longer friends with, and the ones that I cared to stay in touch with no longer live in the province ironically enough. DH on the other hand has managed to reconnect with most of his friends and sees them on a regular basis. This doesn't bother me in the slightest as I encourage him to go out. Anyways, one of my friends came to visit from Alberta and I made arrangements so that I could spend the night with him (DD is EBF, but I pump to have a supply). DH makes plans so that his buddies can come over and have a video game night. I tell him that he promised I could have the night off and that I don't want to get a call saying I have to come back seeing as I haven't seen my friend in well over a year. He says he knows, and that I should go and have a good night. My friend and I leave and are just making it to the coffee house when I get a call. It's DH and apparently DD is inconsolable and I need to come home. It has been all of 20 minutes and at this point DD is about 2 months old. I tell him I am not coming home and that he can handle her, he says he'll try and I hang up. We order coffee and just get a table when my cell rings again. I can hear DD screaming in the background, his buddies playing their game, and DH telling me to come home. My friend says it's fine, and after seeing him for only 30 minutes I have to leave. I am devastated and upset. That was the first time I got to go out since DD was born and I just feel DH ruined it. I let it go.
Anyways DH makes arrangements to go out with his friends every Friday night and I stay home with DD alone. This doesn't bother me so much, but I do feel resentful seeing as I don't bother him when he goes out, but the one time I go out I get called back. I also am feeling incredibly lonely seeing as I can't seem to make friends. I have tried to join a baby wearing/breastfeeding group to meet like minded moms, but they meet on Fridays and DH doesn't think it will work transportation wise... so I don't get to go (public transit is awful here and it would take more than an hour to get there). I looked into doing baby swimming classes, but this time it doesn't work because DH doesn't want to spend the money on the classes as we are trying to save for a house (we rent at the moment). The only people I get to see are my parents and my in-laws. I then make arrangements to have extended family hikes on Sundays. This works for all of 3 weeks and now DH doesn't want to go... but he doesn't want to look after DD on his own, and he wants to sleep in, so I have to take her with me. This doesn't always work as some of the hikes are quite strenuous and there are a lot of biting bugs and it can be really hot... I don't want to expose DD to this just yet so I stay home...
I just feel so lonely now, and last night when DH went out with his friends for his birthday... I felt so left behind. I made dinner, and baked a cake... but right after dinner he tells me he's going out. He leaves at 7pm and didn't come home until after 2am. He didn't even stay to open his gift. I didn't even know he made plans to go out. He wakes up this morning and tried to tell me how much fun he had and that it was great hanging out with so-and-so and seeing so-and-so, and I just didn't want to look at him because I am so upset. I don't know what to do.
Thanks for listening.