March 2013 Moms

Not feeling complete

Hi Guys, I havnt posted in  while. But i feel like i have no one to talk to. Its been a struggle and a blessing having my beautiful DD. From having a rush c section ( that i feel like i had no say-because me n baby was fine with no complication) to post recovery (took over 2 months to heal) to back to work, then losing my job, now on the job hunt again, its all a bit over whelming.

I dont feel complete because i KNOW & wanted so bad to push my baby. my doctor & nurses didnt give me any options like i been seeing them give to other girls & friend who's had baby after me. I also feel like an emotional rack (can this be post hormonal?)

My DD is now 14weeks. I love her deeply. My SO tells me, my family n his family repeatedly that he does not want no more kids. But i want another. I really wanna try for my son. I really dont think its fair that he's not listening to my side of the story. I also wnt to experience a natural birth. I really really want the experience of pushing a baby. I dont want to have or try for another baby now, but i was thinking 5 yrs from now.

I just dont know who else to talk to. Mayb its just the hormons playing with my head :-S

Happy to be a mom :)

Re: Not feeling complete

  • I'm so sorry you are feeling along :-( Hang in there!  I sent you a private message!
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  • I know exactly how you feel. I had 2 failed inductions with no cervical change. After 43 hours I had to have a c section. You basically summed up all of my feelings. May I ask why you had your section?
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  • smfdjosmfdjo
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    I had a C Section too, at times I feel like I should have gone for a vaginal but he was breech and all I wanted then was him to arrive here safely.  I didn't care how.  I am sure it is hormones, but we are here to support you.  Maybe your SO will change his mind.  Right now this is a big change and I am sure the change is a lot for him.
  • mal922mal922
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    I had to have a c section because my baby was breech. I was disappointed when I found out I would have to have one if he didn't turn, but in the end, I decided there must have been a reason he didn't and what mattered was that he turned out ok. I'm not sure what your exact circumstances are, but I am sure you did what seemed best based on the advice you received at the time.

    As far as having more kids, I'd give your SO more time if you're thinking you would want to wait several years anyway. I guess it's different since I'm the one who just went through a c section recovery and really difficult BFing experience, rather than my husband, but even though we had planned to have two kids, right now I don't even want to think about having another. I have told DH I need to adjust to having our LO before I can focus on that.

    Hang in there!
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  • It sounds like a c-section is what was needed for both you and baby. I wouldn't beat yourself up over delivering via c-section. I delivered vag and don't know if I feel any different than I would if I would have delivered via c-section. I actually lost a lot of blood and was hemorrhaging. I had all these people that kept coming in the room after delivery to take a look at me as the bleeding would not stop. I ended up having blood clots in my uterus and this was causing the bleeding. My DH was so worried as he didn't know what was going to happen. I tell you this to say I delivered vag, but with complications and a scare. I would do research on delivering vag after c-section as I have heard its a more difficult procedure. The good news is you could have a scheduled c-section next time (this sounds like a great idea as far as scheduling!) 5 years is a long time from now so I wouldn't worry about SO for now. :) Most people I know said it gets easier after a year and I have noticed this is when people want to have #2! Hang in there and don't be afraid to get help.
  • I am sorry you feel that way. 

    Don't worry about another baby just yet since you want to wait 5 years. Work on one thing at a time.  Hang in there and like the pp said don't be afraid to get help. 


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  • I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. :( A lot of people don't understand the loss we feel of not having a vaginal birth. Yes, my DD and I came out healthy from it, but to me my c section and my daughter are 2 completely different processes, if that makes any sense. I really like this article:

    http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/emotional_impact.asp

     

    I just had my VBAC on March 12th and it was such a healing experience for me. Hopefully you and your SO can decide on when/if to add to your family. Give him. some time for now. Your baby is still so small. Good luck!!

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  • It's ok to feel that way about wanting to push. You have to let it go though or it will consume you. If that was the safer way then be blessed that everything was safe. As for SO. He def should hear your side of having another. Had you ever talked about more than one kid before your LO?  I know that it took me awhile not to cry or feel down about everything. But you should pamper yourself with something even if you have to force it. Try a massage, facial or a play date with friends or family. Good luck!
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