February 2013 Moms

I think I am in over my head.....

Let me say this first: Pax's CT scan came back normal- no craniosynostosis YAY! He is always doing amazing in physical therapy and probably wont need a hement because of his torticollis.  Also i am struggling with PPD. I am on meds and seeing a therapist. I am really trying to keep a handle on it. My husband and I are both in ruts individually ( if any of you remember he is a chronic depressive trying to get his meds under control too...). However, we both agree our marriage is good- go figure. Hey i'll take anything at this point. The last 4 days have created the perfect storm of me about to loose it. 

My sweet boy has always been a good sleeper, but the last 4 days he refuses to nap anywhere but on my chest. I haven't had to deal with anything like this and I am about to lose it. First: he is crying more than ever. He is normally such a happy, low maintenance baby so I have no idea why he is inconsolable half of the day. Second: My nerves are feeling like live wires right now. Not because of the crying, but because I don't know what is wrong. Third: I have a herniated disc in my neck and muscle damage in my shoulder from a bad car accident. I have been managing the pain for almost 4 years now without any prescription meds but after these last 4 days my body is KILLING me. Aleve is not cutting it. Forth: He is refusing to eat and I don't know why. Fifth: He has his 4 months shots today and I am terrified of how it is going to make the situation at home like...    

I have tried Tylenol, gas drops, teething tablets, frozen wash clothes, and he is on reflux meds.  

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!  I just want to hide under the covers and have someone else clean my house and cook dinner because neither of those things have been done for weeks now. That just makes it harder.... I am living in a pigsty, but I feel so overwhelmed I don't know where to start.  Please tell me I am not alone and please give me some words of wisdom or advice. I could really use it.

Sorry if this was rambling. This is what the inside of my head feels like right now.  

--Married 4 Years - PCOS - Insulin Resistant - Irregular Cycles - TTC 24mon - Metformin - Progesterone - Phentermine - 40 pounds lost - 3 rounds Clomid - DH 1% sperm morphology - BFP June 23rd - Paxton born 2/15/2013 - August 2013 Let's Have Another Baby- Charting Cycles with OPC and Charting Temps, No Ovulation Jan- Start clomid Feb 2014  --

Re: I think I am in over my head.....

  • With my first I had terrible ppd but I was embarrassed to tell anyone cause I thought it made me a bad mom. So it's great your getting help cause its the best thing for you and your family. And in a honesty my house is dirty 85 of the time. Don't beat yourself up over this we all have tough time and we all get through them.
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  • Oh, honey :(

    First, I want to say HOORAY about the CT scan! I had been wondering about your little guy. Another Hooray to no helmet! That is fantastic. 

    As for the other stuff, I don't know if I have any words of wisdom, but my heart goes out to you. Just know this time WILL pass. It won't always be like this; your baby won't always be fussy and teething, and he won't always nap on your chest. I am sure the pain is just compounding the issue for you, and I can't imagine. Hopefully you and your hubby get your meds and such figured out soon. (((creepy internet hugs)))

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  • Goodness - I feel for you!

    I?ve not had PPD but  I have anxiety and suffered depression of varying  degrees throughout my life and correct me if Im wrong, but I hear the barely concealed panic in your tone that I recognise during extreme periods of stress.

    You are on meds and you are seeing a therapist so Im guessing you talk this through with them.

    Your baby is going to his checkups so they would be able to tell you if there is anything wrong, but I?m thinking that you are feeling so frazzled and wired that he may well be picking up your moods? 

    On a practical note I would suggest that you call on friends and or family.

    They may not be able to help out  much with your little guy, maybe they could take him for a short walk to allow you a hot bath/shower? Sit with him while you have a nap?

    but Im sure they can help with housework and chores.

    I know that  the state of my home has a huge impact on how in, or out, of control I feel and if I see chores and mess that I know I can?t deal with, it really drives me further and further down. It makes me feel more of a failure; makes me angry that I cant seem to manage.And then just the feeling dirty cz the place hasnt been hoovered, swept, wiped etc really gets to me too.

    Dont feel bad for asking for help either. Good people LOVE to feel helpful and needed .

    I?m thinking that if your home is clean and tidy, you have had a chance to catch up on some sleep, your little guy has had a change of scene and some fresh air, basically just a little help to get you back in control and rested, then your other issues will be  a bit more bareable?

    Sorry it?s not much! I?m not a dr, or a therapist , but this is what  would help me when Im feeling overwhelmed.

    I hope things get better for you all soon.

     

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  • I'm thrilled to hear the little guy is doing well! That must be a load off! 

    But I am very sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. I had some pretty severe baby blues and anxiety during the first 6 weeks of DS's life and even since then I've had my moments (usually when there's a lack of sleep going on!) But like Runaway said this will pass. It's definitely difficult to see this as a fleeting time when you're in it, but it really won't be like this forever. *Hugs* 

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  • For me a big help when things start to get overwhelming is to cease all expectations. I plan on a day or two to just reset things. I don't go anywhere. I try to get the baby back on her nap schedule, and do ONE little thing to get the house clean without tackling the huge feat of cleaning the house.(ie: put away 15 things then go back to playing with the baby for a while, or clean the counters then stop. After a half hour or an hour, start again. Luckily, she seems to be pretty happy being in the ergo while I clean). I drink a lot of water. Little things that make ME feel better, which seems to add up to getting everything else back in line. And if none of those things happen, I'm not any worse than when I started.

    Hope things start looking up soon... Sometimes just admitting that you're overwhelmed is all you need to get back on the right track! 

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  • image Karla CS:

    For me a big help when things start to get overwhelming is to cease all expectations. I plan on a day or two to just reset things. I don't go anywhere. I try to get the baby back on her nap schedule, and do ONE little thing to get the house clean without tackling the huge feat of cleaning the house.(ie: put away 15 things then go back to playing with the baby for a while, or clean the counters then stop. After a half hour or an hour, start again. Luckily, she seems to be pretty happy being in the ergo while I clean). I drink a lot of water. Little things that make ME feel better, which seems to add up to getting everything else back in line. And if none of those things happen, I'm not any worse than when I started.

    Hope things start looking up soon... Sometimes just admitting that you're overwhelmed is all you need to get back on the right track! 

     

    This. And like pp said, this too shall pass. I'd also like to suggest baby orajel. Maybe he's teething and in pain. I hope things work out for you. Is your DH able to help pick up some of the slack?

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  • image 101Mims:
     

    On a practical note I would suggest that you call on friends and or family.

    They may not be able to help out  much with your little guy, maybe they could take him for a short walk to allow you a hot bath/shower? Sit with him while you have a nap?

    but Im sure they can help with housework and chores.

    I had a meltdown last week and my mom came over and held my baby for his nap so I could clean my house.  I couldn't direct her how to clean everything so it was easier for her to get in some snuggles while I go something accomplished.  It is amazing the difference in my mood when things are a bit picked up and I haven't had a baby in my arms the entire day.  That being said, I have three kids so my house is never clean, but I at least try to keep a few areas picked up for my sanity.

    Samuel  2.26.06 41w ASD/ADHD
    Eli  6.18.09 35.5w
    Silas  1.25.13 35.4w 10 days NICU, allergies/asthma, gluten intolerant

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  • seekupseekup
    Eighth Anniversary 10 Comments
    member
    Just want to say you're not alone. I told my husband, in the midst of DD having a screaming fit, that it looks like we live in a frat house! Not enough time in the day. Deep breaths... It'll get better!
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