Stay at Home Moms

Am I out of line?

DH and I have travelled to Mexico and several other Central American countries multiple times in the past, I have gone several times on my own, and I speak decent Spanish.  We enjoy it.  We have only ever gone in the summer because I teach and that is the only time I am off.  Our families would have a fit if we missed the holidays in favor of traveling, fine, I get that, never mind flights are absolutely atrocious in the winter.  My parents were extremely vocal about us not taking DD to Mexico last summer when she was itty bitty, but we got her a passport this year and are looking for a trip in August.  My mom just asked me to watch her dog several weekends in August and September and I said that's fine, but at some point I am going on vacation and I haven't chosen the weeks yet.  If these dates don't work, I will let you know right away.  Immediately she wants to know where we are going and I told her we are probably going to Mexico.  Silence.  Dead silence.  Eventually she starts talking and asks questions and I explain where and why and point out that we clearly can't go when it's cooler since I will be working.  We don't have a lot of interest in paying through the nose to travel to a the east coast to go to the beach.  We like Mexico.  

So she calls this morning and tells me not to get mad, but asks if we are going to Mexico to prove something.  What??  I assure her that is not the case, we simply enjoy vacationing there. I then asked her when I would be allowed in her mind to leave the country with my child.  She said she didn't know.  Well fan-flipping-tastic.  I told her DD is not the last child we plan to have and that I do not plan on spending the next decade in the US just because I had children.  She continued on about how we should be able to find a nice resort around here we could go to.  I told her we aren't interested right now, but we are definitely not trying to prove something.

I am dumb-founded.  Am I wrong here?  Am I suddenly only aloud to travel in the continental US because I had kids?  And no, she's not offering to take DD so we can travel on our own.  She believes in family vacations, meaning my vacations should be 'family-friendly' from here on out and she will not take the kids for more than about 12 hours at a time overnight. 

Hallelujah, it's a miracle, I have children AND a signature!
image image

<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Trying to Conceive"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1b3ec7.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0"  /></a> IW024W 3rd: 7FS0BD4th: XGYL4V5th: JPDH57

TTC since February 2009
MC 6/28/2010 @ 7w 5d
Dx low progesterone October 2010, IUI success and then a total surprise!

Re: Am I out of line?

  • The best part is, she doesn't even know I am pregnant.  That will really put her over the edge.  We just want to go before we have a second little one to take with or need to pay for three and a half airline tickets!
    Hallelujah, it's a miracle, I have children AND a signature!
    image image

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Trying to Conceive"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1b3ec7.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0"  /></a> IW024W 3rd: 7FS0BD4th: XGYL4V5th: JPDH57

    TTC since February 2009
    MC 6/28/2010 @ 7w 5d
    Dx low progesterone October 2010, IUI success and then a total surprise!
  • pevilapevila
    250 Answers Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Love Its
    member
     This might be a silly question, but... what does your mom think is going to happen to your DD in Mexico?
    image
  • I think you handled the situation well. While her intentions are good (concern for safety, blah blah) she is over-stepping bounds IMO. Do what you want. She had the chance to raise kids and travel as she saw fit, this is your family. 

    ETA: We took DD to Mexico earlier this year, Cozumel to be exact. It was awesome and we never ran into any problems.  

    __________________________________________________________________________________________ 

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers  
  • I personally would be very hesitant to take children to Mexico.  It has gotten much more dangerous over the last couple of years.  As long as you're going to a resort and doing resort activities I'm sure it would be fine but I wouldn't want to do something other than that.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I don't think you are out of line at all. I see nothing wrong with a family vacation to Mexico. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image CnAmom:
    Yep, you're taking your family on vacation just to show her. Your mom is being ridiculous.
     Right?  Because I would throw around that kind of money to 'prove something'.  I am SURE she is on the phone to my dad right now.  They are divorced, but still manage to talk when this kind of thing happens (her not agreeing with me).  She also implied that we are spending too much to go.  Last I checked, I do not depend on her for my financial well being!!!  GRRR...I am glad you all don't think I'm crazy.  And for what it's worth, we are also tossing around San Diego and NYC as well. <insert eye roll here>
    Hallelujah, it's a miracle, I have children AND a signature!
    image image

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Trying to Conceive"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1b3ec7.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0"  /></a> IW024W 3rd: 7FS0BD4th: XGYL4V5th: JPDH57

    TTC since February 2009
    MC 6/28/2010 @ 7w 5d
    Dx low progesterone October 2010, IUI success and then a total surprise!
  • I don't get it? Why is international travel with children a problem? I know Mexico has some major issues with violence, but from what I understand that's pretty far removed from the reaort areas? Does she have a moral objection to the resorts themselves (which I actually do understand and agree with) or is she just afraid?
    image image Baby Birthday Ticker TickerBaby Birthday Ticker TickerBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • You are not out of line at all.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • +ASH++ASH+
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    member

    My mom would say the same thing. She gets mad when we go to Disney World a lot ("the kids need more culture"). So we're going to California this summer and she's making comments about DD being too little for the drive and she should stay with her. Heck no. 

    Go and have a good time - and if you can, keep the pregnancy a secret until you get back to cut down on the drama ;).  

    DS1 - 9; DS2 - 6; Angel - May 10, 2011; Baby Girl - Due May 19, 2013
  • image amy052006:
    Well, let's put it this way I have a family member who is in a position to know such things, and his recommendation was not to travel with out kids in Mexico right now.I mean, I doubt you mom is CIA or some shiit, and yes she needs to butt out of your business. nbsp;But I also don't think not taking your kid to mexico in particular is the craziest suggestion right now either.nbsp;

    Yeah.......I kind of agree with this.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickersLilypie Second Birthday tickers

    image



    image
  • I think it is fantastic that you travel and even more so that you plan on bringing your kids and teaching them to love traveling. I'm also sure you are a very smart woman and a great mom and will know how to keep your kids safe. Go have fun take a ton of pictures and enjoy :-) 
    image

    image
  • I live in SoCal not too far from the Mexico border. I can tell you that I have no interest in going down to Mexico due to the violence. It has escalated in the last few years, so much so that people who used to go regularly to drop off donations, or get medications, or even just go shipping don't go anymore. It was also a popular destination for college kids to party for the weekend, we live that close, and now the local colleges strongly discourage it. I would do a lot of research and decide if that's a risk you want to take.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers

  • My MIL would be exactly the same if we were taking DD to Mexico. I've traveled there many times, completely love the country, and feel safe there, but she's never been and has heard all these horror stories... She was very against BIL & SIL going there on their honeymoon, so I'm pretty sure if we took DD she'd lapse into a coma. Whatever - we're not going to live our lives around her paranoia. 

    Go. Go, and have a wonderful time. I think it's wonderful that you'll be raising your DD with an exposure to different cultures and languages :)  


    Lilypie Third Birthday tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers


  • image lexusolsen:
    I live in SoCal not too far from the Mexico border. I can tell you that I have no interest in going down to Mexico due to the violence. It has escalated in the last few years, so much so that people who used to go regularly to drop off donations, or get medications, or even just go shipping don't go anymore. It was also a popular destination for college kids to party for the weekend, we live that close, and now the local colleges strongly discourage it. I would do a lot of research and decide if that's a risk you want to take.

    Yep, also from Southern California and I have no interest in going as well.

    Lilypie First Birthday tickersLilypie Second Birthday tickers

    image



    image
  • My BFF was born in Mexico and will not take her two kids to visit. If you are staying at a resort it's safer but nothing is fool proof. The violence is only part of it, the kidnappings are another.

    We live in Texas and the travel across the border isn't what it used to be.
  • image Hav=Fath:

    image penguingrrl:
    I don't get it? Why is international travel with children a problem? I know Mexico has some major issues with violence, but from what I understand that's pretty far removed from the reaort areas? Does she have a moral objection to the resorts themselves (which I actually do understand and agree with) or is she just afraid?

    Can you explain your moral objection to resorts?  

    Quite often they're in impoverished areas. they will guard themselves for obvious reasons, but do nothing at all to help the local economy. I know my mom went once (in Puerto Rico) and said it was really weird to go through these horribly impoverished areas, which weren't helped at all economically by the resort, to be pampered and sheltered from local language, culture, cuisine, etc. I've also heard that employees are often overworked and underpaid, but since they have few other options they need to stay and are subject to employment practices that would not be tolerated in the US.

    image image Baby Birthday Ticker TickerBaby Birthday Ticker TickerBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Sure she is out of line it is your business where you take your kids. That being said I agree with Amy there is no way in hell I would take my family to Mexico right now. I don't think it is a wise place to vacation and there are many other choices for resorts. If you are not going to a resort I seriously side eye that with a child in Mexico.
    Mom to Emma 9/4/06 and Jackson 11/24/08 M/C Dec 11 and M/C twins feb 2012. BFP Thanksgiving! EDD Aug 4, 2013 M/C at 5 weeks.
  • Lol the line don't get mad is such a mom line.

  • image amy052006:

    Well, let's put it this way -- I have a family member who is in a position to know such things, and his recommendation was not to travel with out kids in Mexico right now.

    I mean, I doubt you mom is CIA or some shiit, and yes she needs to butt out of your business.  But I also don't think not taking your kid to mexico in particular is the craziest suggestion right now either.

     

    All of this. I live in CA and we used to travel to Mexico twice a year. Right now though, I wouldn't go at all especially not with my kid. 


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I think it depends where in Mexico you're talking about.  Quintana Roo?  Sure.  Juarez?  No way.  It's a big country, much like this one, and the violence is not country wide.  There are plenty of places in the US I wouldn't want to take my children, same as Mexico.

    FWIW, I did take my 4 and not quite 6 year old to Mexico earlier this year.  We rented a house and a car, drove around, etc. No resort.  It was totally fine, and they did get the exposure to another culture in addition to an awesome vacation.  

    In terms of not doing any international travel at all with kids, that's just silly.  Now that my kids are old enough to start appreciating it, we plan to include them on all of our trips.  I've been to lots of 3rd world countries, and I'd take my kids to all of them as long as we took proper precautions for safety, food, etc.  It's important to DH and me to see the world, and to have them see it, too.  

  • I think you should make your decision and not feel like you need to keep telling your mom all the reasons.   I would just tell her it's not up for discussion.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Is it that you are leaving the country with your kids, or where you are going?  To be honest, I would probably not take my kids to Mexico right now.  There are major drug wars that are spilling over closer to the resort areas.  I work in a bilingual school with almost 100% Mexican staff members.  Many of them will not take their own families to Mexico right now. Granted, most of them would have visited their hometowns and not a resort, but I do take that as a sign that this might not be the best time to vacation there.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Well, your mom is definitely the one who is out of line by the way she was speaking to you. Sounds like something my MIL would do. So no, I don't think you are out of line.

    That being said, I also would not travel to Mexico, either just DH and I or with kids. The violence in the country and toward tourists has progressively gotten worse over the few years. And it's not just in the areas where crime is normally bad, but now is bleeding into the touristy areas. Stories of tourists being robbed in Puerto Vallarta, kidnappings, ect. I'm usually not an alarmist, but yeah....not going to Mexico any time soon. But again, that's just me.

  • image Andrewsgal:
    Sure she is out of line it is your business where you take your kids. That being said I agree with Amy there is no way in hell I would take my family to Mexico right now. I don't think it is a wise place to vacation and there are many other choices for resorts. If you are not going to a resort I seriously side eye that with a child in Mexico.

    Took the words right out of my mouth. I have never wanted to travel to Mexico.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards