Trying to Get Pregnant

Anyone limited by their job or very long cycles?

Hi everyone! Back on here after deciding not to go through with trying last winter (decided to save up and buy a home instead -which worked out! Yay!). I'm 26 and DH is 32. We're hoping for #1 and I'm using the CBE fertility monitor for the second cycle. 

Here's my dilemma - I feel like I have a more limited chance of conceiving because (1) I'm a teacher and I need to avoid giving birth in July, August --limits my leave time-- September and October -- I need to be present in school to help my special needs students with the transition, and (2) my cycles have been 37-40 days since I went off the pill last fall. That's 8 calendar months that make sense to try, and 5 or do cycles within that time frame really.

 Is anyone else limited by their job or other circumstances? How are you dealing with it? If anyone out there was successful with this situation, I'd love to hear your advice or story.

 Good luck to all!

Re: Anyone limited by their job or very long cycles?

  • I'm a teacher as well, with longer cycles (usually 35-40 days).  After a year of trying, and possible due dates, I'm more concerned with simply having a baby than what month it would be born in. 

    Are certain months more convient than others?  Yes.  Would I let a less convient due date stop me from trying?  Heck no. 

    I only had ten cycles in the last year because of longer cycles.  Why would I take any of those chances away simply based on my due date?

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  • image msdivito:

     

    Here's my dilemma - I feel like I have a more limited chance of conceiving because (1) I'm a teacher and I need to avoid giving birth in July, August --limits my leave time-- September and October -- I need to be present in school to help my special needs students with the transition, and (2) my cycles have been 37-40 days since I went off the pill last fall. That's 8 calendar months that make sense to try, and 5 or do cycles within that time frame really.

     Is anyone else limited by their job or other circumstances? How are you dealing with it? If anyone out there was successful with this situation, I'd love to hear your advice or story.

     

    I'm a teacher ::Looks down at ticker::

    Your job is not limiting anything--you are just limiting yourself.  Your students will survive just fine without you. I've been telling myself that for a long time.

    Let me tell you how very unimportant the "perfect" month will become if this process takes more than a few months.

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  • You both make a good point.  

    I should add, if I sounded dramatic before, I don't have professional status/tenure yet though, so if I'm not at work on September 1st I could lose my job. It won't be that way in two years, though.

  • And I should probably have titled this "does anyone FEEL limited..." Ha. 
  • image msdivito:
    And I should probably have titled this "does anyone FEEL limited..." Ha. 

    Again, you make yourself feel that way.

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  • No. My job will not determine my pregnancy. It is illegal for your job to reprimand or fire you for getting pregnant. And trust me, if you get pregnant and take leave, your job, bosses and coworkers will survive without you.



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  • I am also a teacher. My students have special needs and I always felt guilty leaving and not being with them because I thought no one could do my job like me. I still think that is true but I have learned that, believe it or nt, my students survived without me for 12 weeks while I was on maternity leave with my first (born Sept. 19). My family is who really needs me! Now that I am trying for #2 I don't care when he/she is born. If I had my wish it would be early spring then I could takeoff the end of the year and have all summer at home. But, like I said, any time would be great! 

    It is hard to think of someone else doing your job but it can be done. My sub did not do the 2 big things I asked her to do and she redecorated my entire classroom. But, life went on and while I was home with a newborn I really didn't care!!  Priorities change when you welcome a baby into your family. 

    Sorry this was so long just wanted to share my experience! Good luck with whatever you choose! 


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  • Anytime is going to have pros and cons. You can feel limited, but don't feel like you have to act on it. You can only do as much as you let yourself do. Or at least try.

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  • image lilysylvis:
    Anytime is going to have pros and cons. You can feel limited, but don't feel like you have to act on it. You can only do as much as you let yourself do. Or at least try.

     I should probably print this out and tape it on my mirror! I'm too Type A for my own good sometimes. 

  • image britt6292:

    I am also a teacher. My students have special needs and I always felt guilty leaving and not being with them because I thought no one could do my job like me. I still think that is true but I have learned that, believe it or nt, my students survived without me for 12 weeks while I was on maternity leave with my first (born Sept. 19). My family is who really needs me! Now that I am trying for #2 I don't care when he/she is born. If I had my wish it would be early spring then I could takeoff the end of the year and have all summer at home. But, like I said, any time would be great! 

    It is hard to think of someone else doing your job but it can be done. My sub did not do the 2 big things I asked her to do and she redecorated my entire classroom. But, life went on and while I was home with a newborn I really didn't care!!  Priorities change when you welcome a baby into your family. 

    Sorry this was so long just wanted to share my experience! Good luck with whatever you choose! 

     

     Thanks for this, and for reminding me that subs can be fine. A very particular teacher fear.  

  • I feel a little limited by my husband's job. He does a lot of travelling for work, often internationally, which can be a bummer if he is gone for O time. 

    I also work with kids and understand your stress about not being there for your kids. But honestly, if I've learned anything through the years is that kids are more resilient than we give them credit for and I shouldn't be THAT important in their lives one way or another. Whenever I worry about missing sessions or going on vacation, my friend gives me this gem of wisdom:

    "Take your co-dependent pants off, you're not that important."  

    Good luck, it's a crazy journey! 

    image



  • I'm a teacher, too (actually I'm a SAHM right now but will return to the classroom in August).

    I definitely understand the desire to have a particular due date because it would be more convenient. However, as PP have pointed out, there are laws in place to prevent you from losing your job due to pregnancy and your students will be just fine when you have to take maternity leave. I'm sure by the time your due date rolls around, your students will be the last thing on your mind at that point. I know that's how it was for me when DD was born Smile.

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  • Honestly we put off TTGP for a year or two waiting for the "perfect time" in my career. I've now given up on that and, in the middle of my 6th month TTC (which I realize is not long in the scheme of things), I'm kind of annoyed I waited so long.

    Welcome back and good luck!

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  • I am a 1 st grade teacher. I started my new job in November of last year. I found out I was pregnant the end of Dec. that gave me a edd of Sept 8. I would miss the first few weeks of school most likely. They were already looking to get a sub for that time. I MC in February. Now on 2 nd cycle TTc after Dnc.
    I am TTc. I am not trying to figure out what is best for me since anything can happen.
    No other profession has summers off I don't believe they can let you go for having a baby.
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  • image britt6292:

    I am also a teacher. My students have special needs and I always felt guilty leaving and not being with them because I thought no one could do my job like me. I still think that is true but I have learned that, believe it or nt, my students survived without me for 12 weeks while I was on maternity leave with my first (born Sept. 19). My family is who really needs me! Now that I am trying for #2 I don't care when he/she is born. If I had my wish it would be early spring then I could takeoff the end of the year and have all summer at home. But, like I said, any time would be great! 

    It is hard to think of someone else doing your job but it can be done. My sub did not do the 2 big things I asked her to do and she redecorated my entire classroom. But, life went on and while I was home with a newborn I really didn't care!!  Priorities change when you welcome a baby into your family. 

    Sorry this was so long just wanted to share my experience! Good luck with whatever you choose! 

    I completely agree with this. I am a teacher as well (not special needs, 4th grade) and I spent so much time planning every little detail of my maternity leave. And then, DS was born. And I couldn't have cared less what was happening at school. They were taken care of and I was so madly in love with this new little person in my life that it didn't really matter what happened at school.

    On a totally unrelated note, britt6292...our DS's have the exact same birthday!!  

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  • I'm loving everyone's honesty. Thanks ladies. 
  • I'm not a teacher but I am in school. I picked my schedule to give me a break in the spring and summer of next year if we are able to conceive 2. While that would be the optimal time for us to have a baby, I won't stop trying if we can't conceive by then.
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  • image ramfan05:
    image britt6292:

    I completely agree with this. I am a teacher as well (not special needs, 4th grade) and I spent so much time planning every little detail of my maternity leave. And then, DS was born. And I couldn't have cared less what was happening at school. They were taken care of and I was so madly in love with this new little person in my life that it didn't really matter what happened at school.

    I cannot emphasize this enough. I am also a teacher and with my son I was very fortunate to have him in April. I meticulously planned my leave and left detailed lesson plans. After he was born it was like a switch went off.

     Your students will survive without you. Subs get the job done. Kids go to school for many years.  

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  • I understand to a limit of bad timing. I am a nurse and my hospital is building a new computer system and it goes live from August to Feb (different sites are staggereing the live time). I am part of building this system.  So for me to be on leave before Mid-March is just not cool. But that is not really stopping me. 
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  • I also have very long cycles. When I got pregnant with my daughter it was a 45 day cycle. I'm also a teacher. I just wanted a baby timing wasn't important to me, you forget about work totally once the baby comes. Ironically enough the timing of my DD birth was amazing for me, but not so amazing for DH who is a CPA. She was born durning tax season. It sucked, but we got through it. 
  • I don't have long cycles but...

    I travel sometimes for work (DH does too) - neither of us do a lot, but pretty sure we missed the O (no OPKs, no temping so can't say for sure) in April because one or the other of us seemed to be gone for a few days every week for 3 weeks in a row!

     I was looking through our employment handbook and it seems there is NO paid maternity leave here and I didn't realize when I moved across state lines I lost eligibility for TDI after pregnancy (if I'm reading it right, I just started looking into this) so I would consider that a limitation, I will be eligible for 12 weeks of FMLA but will only be able to use the vacation/personal days I have accrued (we don't get sick time and can only carry over 5 days vacation so this is pretty lame). I consider that situation limited by my job because I can keep my job for 12 weeks but only 2 or 3 weeks will be paid  :(

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  • It would be ideal for me not to give birth April through July because I am a public librarian and those are my busiest months and I also do most of our programing and outreach (and there isnt anyone else to do it), but I wont stop trying to get pregnant.  Maybe if I was younger, but I am 30 and I feel like I dont have time to play with.

     Right now it is extra hard for us to work out the timing because my husband is living 5 hours away while he trains for a job.  On a good week I get to see him 1 day, but there have been several weeks that I havent gotten to see him at all.  We have been trying for 8 months (he has been gone for the last 2).  He still has 4 more months to go! :(

     

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  • Hi MsDivito,

    I don't think I have any advice to give, but I am familiar with feeling limited by my job.

    At my job we can take time off in four month terms, but we get zero pay after the first two terms (not that you get the entire amount for the first two.) Also, we have to take off the term we are due.

    DH and I have been trying for a due date in the first half of a term so I can get at least 6 months with the baby before returning to work. We start trying again next month. 

    Good luck! 

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  • image Valie18:

    Hi MsDivito,

    I don't think I have any advice to give, but I am familiar with feeling limited by my job.

    At my job we can take time off in four month terms, but we get zero pay after the first two terms (not that you get the entire amount for the first two.) Also, we have to take off the term we are due.

    DH and I have been trying for a due date in the first half of a term so I can get at least 6 months with the baby before returning to work. We start trying again next month. 

    Good luck! 

    This sounds like the OPPOSITE of limited to me - where can I sign up??!!?!?!?!

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  • Maybe it's my own perspective then. My mom only got 4 months with me and she said it was no where near enough. And I think it's silly that I would have to take off time starting in Jan if I am due in April.

     It's called grad school if you're interested ;) 

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  • image Valie18:

    Maybe it's my own perspective then. My mom only got 4 months with me and she said it was no where near enough. And I think it's silly that I would have to take off time starting in Jan if I am due in April.

     It's called grad school if you're interested ;) 

    Aw man....I was the dingbat who tried to plan a wedding during grad school (that certainly played into the elopement decision in the end!)

     FMLA is only 12 weeks and it's unpaid, it just holds your job - 6 months sounds ideal!

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  • I hadn't thought of it in those terms (fmla) before. Thanks!

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