Dads & Dads-to-be

Gender Disappointment

My husband and I just found out we are having a baby girl.  Cliche as it may be, I was happy and wanted a girl, but my husband wanted a boy.  He has admitted that he is disappointed that it isn't a boy, but says he is happy about the baby and is sure he'll be fine when the baby comes.  However, since we've found out he makes little comments about how it's not a boy and he doesn't like the girl clothes, girl toys, etc.   Is there anything I can do to get him out of this slump prior to the birth, or do I just let him have his mourning period as I have been?  Thanks!

Re: Gender Disappointment

  • Let him be.  If he doesn't come around after a while, he's just going to have to adjust to it.  It is his fault after all it is a girl, the sperm is the one who determines the gender.  Once his little girl is here, he'll probably be wrapped around her little finger.
  • Most guys will get over this disappointment once the baby is born.  Also, girls have a way of wrapping their fathers around their finger so I wouldn't worry about this yet.
  • I think just leave him alone. Maybe buy a daddy's little girl onesie and not wave it around or anything but pull it out of a bag of a bunch of baby stuff like "oh hey look what else I bought today..."

    My husband actually really wanted a girl though. He loves her clothes and thinks girl clothes are much more fun than shopping for boy clothes. He will come around!!! Don't worry!
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • He will likely come around to the facts on his own. It might be worth reminding him that the "girl clothes and girl toys" aren't necessarily the only option. There's nothing wrong with buying a little girl dinosaur stuff or encouraging her interest in sports. Or painting the nursery yellow instead of pink. A lot of people don't recognize that you don't absolutely have to slather your child's world in pink and purple. Hope that helps!
    image
  • as a father who just had a baby girl i completely understand how your husband feels. i was really really hoping for a son to pass on the family name. it took me all of 5 minutes after she was born to decide that she was perfect in every way. it will still hit him from time to time that its not the son he hoped for but he really will love her just as much as any son. ps dont point out that he determined the sex of the baby i absolutely hate that.
  • Funny. I actually had more disappointment than my hubby. We were newlyweds and he had four girls already from 2 previous marriages. When I found out we were having a girl I cried. Mind you I had two boys and a girl at that point from my previous marriage. Well anyways we went on to have two more girls. This one was a surprise and we were expecting another girl. Well guess what its a boy. So I.m very excited but hubby seems nonchalant about it. I think he is in denial. But I have caught him online shopping for baby boy military stuff. Guess he thinks that showing excitement may jinx it somehow. What are your thoughts!
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