January 2013 Moms

Leaving baby

DS is 4.5 months. I haven't left him longer than 2 hours yet. Nor do I desire to. My mother is dying to take him. She wants to take him tomorrow but I'm having really bad anxiety over it. DS is an EBF but he just started solids last week. He eats a lot and I'm just so nervous. Has anyone left their baby yet? Any advice?

Re: Leaving baby

  • I EBF as well and the few times I have been out and about w/o LO were hard for me, too.  I will run a quick errand here or there and leave DS w DH, but we have only left him with my mom twice.  The first time, he was 8 weeks old and we had a formal dinner to attend, so I absolutely couldn't bring him.  He did fine and I only missed one feeding so he got a bottle of expressed milk.  We went on a morning movie date a couple weeks ago and my mom came and watched him at our house. He did okay, but refused the bottle.  He would not eat at all!  My mom just held him till he fell asleep and I nursed him when I got home. 

    DH gives him a bottle of BM once a day, now, so hopefully he'll start doing better if he needs to take one while I'm out.  Although, I don't feel the need or desire to be away from him too often.  I know DH really appreciates a date now and then, though, and I want to make sure my marriage is a first priority.  So, I'm willing to leave him with my mom again soon.

    We do put him in the nursery at church, though and I'm really proud of myself for that!  It's only about an hour and a half AND I'm just in the next room, so they can call me in if DS needs me.  But he does really well and loves watching the older babies play, so it makes me happy that he can be away from me.  I know it's harder for me than it is for him.

    For you, I would encourage you to take advantage of your mom's offer to watch the baby.  Do something short, like get a pedi, and plan it around baby's feedings so feed right before you leave and right when you get back.  It will be good for you and for LO (and I'm sure your mom will love the grandma time!).  It's hard, but its worth it.


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  • My LO is 4.5 months old too and I have to leave him for 12 hours soon with my mother!! He is EBF but will take bottle if expressed milk if he is hungry. I have never left him with her for more than a couple of hours and its only been a few times. I am very nervous as well so I understand how you feel. I will try my hardest to not call her every hour to check in and try and enjoy myself.,.,,.
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  • I work full time now (back as of last week) but I hadn't left her at all until she was 14 weeks. I went and had my hair cut and colored and ran a few errands while my mom watched her. I was gone for 5 hours.  It was hard driving away and I just wanted to get back to her by the end of the day. 

    She did just fine but was very happy to see me.  She basically wanted the nurse the whole rest of the evening. 

    You'll be fine.  Try to enjoy yourself.


  • ta78ta78
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    Everyone is different and it is not easy the first time. You must SAH if you haven't left him longer than 2 hours.

    In my opinion, it is good to get time to yourself and with your husband.

    My parents watch the kids about once a week, so DH and I can have a date night. DD has stayed overnight there twice now also. They enjoy spending time with the kids and I enjoy getting some time away.

    What exactly are you nervous about? Do you trust her? Do you think she is capable of taking care of him?

    All you can do is tell her that you are worried because he eat a lot and make sure she knows. If it isn't working out she can call you to come get him, but most likely he will be ok.

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  • My DD has horrible separation anxiety. I literally cannot even leave her for 20 minutes with my DH! It's so frustrating. 



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  • My advice is to not leave your LO until you're comfortable with it.  It's great for them to get used to other caregivers and it's important for you to have time away, but it's still very early.  Just wait until you're more comfortable with it.  You'll probably always be anxious about the first time, but if you don't feel like it's time yet, then it's not.

    (And that's not to say that mamas who have left their babies/are ready to are doing it wrong either.  It's just that there's no right time and it's going to be different for everybody.)

    But if/when you do leave them it's normal to feel mildly anxious about it.  Just remember it's good for all involved and it'll be fine! 

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  • I have left DD with my MIL a few times. We started off with, pardon the expression, baby steps. We went for supper down the street so I could get home quickly if I needed to. The longest I left DD for was 5 hours. By the end I was more than ready to get home. I ebf also and DD doesn't take bottles very well.
    My MIL is also good at text messaging me frequently to let me know DD is ok.
    But if you're not ready, I wouldn't go out. Go out when you can enjoy yourself. You don't need to stress about that and don't let anyone push you into leaving your LO.
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  • It's hard the first time but you know what? He will do great! This is a great time to leave them since they don't have stranger anxiety. Go out and enjoy yourself mama! You'll be glad you did.
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