1st Trimester

Am I over reacting?

My husband and I agreed that we would only tell our parents about our pregnancy until the 2nd tri. My husband is away w his brother for bike week in NH and he told him I am pregnant. I am so upset w him bc last time his brother and wife told people before we could. I was looking forward to telling people this time and I am afraid my brother and sister in law will do the same thing they did last time. Do you think I am over reacting or would you be upset too?
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Re: Am I over reacting?

  • I do not think you are over reacting. I would be upset with Dh and I would personally call the inlaws and ask them to not open their mouths.

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  • image nic5606:
    I do not think you are over reacting. I would be upset with Dh and I would personally call the inlaws and ask them to not open their mouths.

    ^What she said.

     I get that DH was excited but if you had previously decided to wait, he shouldn't have told. Either way, try to do some damage control. Maybe post something on facebook about sipping some wine or something....

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  • image kellyc07:
    My husband and I agreed that we would only tell our parents about our pregnancy until the 2nd tri. My husband is away w his brother for bike week in NH and he told him I am pregnant. I am so upset w him bc last time his brother and wife told people before we could. I was looking forward to telling people this time and I am afraid my brother and sister in law will do the same thing they did last time. Do you think I am over reacting or would you be upset too?

    If these people have a history of telling other people's business, in particular your business, then I don't think you are over reacting. I really hope they don't go blabbing and you get to have your moment. I'm sorry about that. 

    Your H should honor the agreement you made.  

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  • ChiAmyChiAmy
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    I kind of think you are.  It's your second baby and things are different with the second.  My husband told his brother and I didn't know and it didn't bother me.

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  • I think it's fine to be upset but don't hold onto it long.  There are a lot of things you can be upset about - this seems relatively small.  Tell him how you didn't appreciate it and call the brother's family TOGETHER to ask them not to tell anyone.  Give them your reasons for not wanting to tell.  

    Breathe and let it go.  You don't need the stress. 

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  • I find it weird that he agreed and then just told his brother anyway.  Whether they were together or not, it sounds like his brother would have found out before your 2nd trimester anyway.

    I'd be ticked at my husband for not lasting twenty minutes with the information.

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  • I would totally be annoyed, but he let the cat out of the bag and you can't go back in time so don't stress. If I were you, I'd give your in-laws a buzz and ask them to respect your wishes about keeping quiet. Aside from it totally not being their place to disclose something so important, you can have them view it from a medical point of view. Tell them you want to have the 12 week downs testing etc and make sure everything is ok before telling people. It doesn't really matter that it's your second child. A blessing is a blessing and it is NO ONE's place to discuss something so important especially if that's what your wishes are. GL
  • image ChiAmy:
    I kind of think you are. nbsp;It's your second baby and things are different with the second. nbsp;My husband told his brother and I didn't know and it didn't bother me.


    It doesn't matter if its your first or fourteenth, it's still your personal blessing and you have every right to be annoyed
  • You are not over reacting. My MIL did that with my first and that ended in a miscarriage. I only got to share the sad news and I was pissed. When I was pregnant with DS we told DH's whole family at once. MIL was mad but I explained why we did that and it shut her right up. Sorry DH did that!
  • image ChiAmy:
    I kind of think you are. nbsp;It's your second baby and things are different with the second. nbsp;My husband told his brother and I didn't know and it didn't bother me.

    Really? It shouldn't matter what number child it is. Her husband should have honored their agreement and they should have had their own moment telling about the impending arrival of their next unique child. A second, third, etc child is just as exciting and lifechanging as a first child.
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  • image PrimRoseMama:

    image kellyc07:
    My husband and I agreed that we would only tell our parents about our pregnancy until the 2nd tri. My husband is away w his brother for bike week in NH and he told him I am pregnant. I am so upset w him bc last time his brother and wife told people before we could. I was looking forward to telling people this time and I am afraid my brother and sister in law will do the same thing they did last time. Do you think I am over reacting or would you be upset too?

    If these people have a history of telling other people's business, in particular your business, then I don't think you are over reacting. I really hope they don't go blabbing and you get to have your moment. I'm sorry about that. 

    Your H should honor the agreement you made.  

    I agree. Personally, I'd be livid. Especially if you made an agreement and specifically discussed that you wouldn't be telling anyone until the 2nd trimester. For him to just go out and tell your BIL is crap, especially if him and his wife are known to be blabbermouths. I would call them and tell them not to say anything, and if they do, you'll know who spread the news since they are the only ones who now know.  And make sure to tell them that if they say something, they will be the last to know about anything else that happens in your life, because you'll know you can't trust them. Maybe that will keep their mouths shut. But yeah, I would be extremely pissed at your husband if I were you. That was rude of him to not even at least ask if it was okay to tell his brother.

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