May 2013 Moms

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  • DH can usually calm LO, but there are some times that the only thing that will calm her is to soothe suck on me. I'm interested in hearing what others have found to work also. She won't be able to soothe on me forever.
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  • You just have to let him work it out for himself. Not every person calms a baby the same way and it is important for him to figure out what works for him and your LO. That was the hardest thing for me with number 1. If you can go take a bath and put ear buds in or something so you can't hear her and don't want to come rushing on to the rescue.
      
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  • My DH is really good at calming my LO....however, this is #3 for us.  I think your DH needs to find his own style so he is comfortable with what he is doing.  I think babies are a lot like dogs in that they can sense when someone isn't confident and that makes them more uncomfortable.

    The more practice he gets the more effective he'll be.  I would just keep encouraging him to try new things and eventually he'll find something that works for him....which will probably be something that doesn't work for you! GL!

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  • My husband is some kinda baby whisperer, it's adorable. But he had a much younger sister that he practiced on and I think that made a huge difference. Also his style is very different from mine but still works.

    I'd say to step back and let your dh and lo figure it out together.

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  • Lately DH has taken some of the "easier" shifts to figure out what works for him and LO. I take bedtime when she is a challenge. It seems to keep both of them less frustrated.

    Ditto about everyone needing to find their own methods. For example, we figured out early on that LO likes being vertical on DH's chest but horizontal In the crook of my arm. It's been all trial and error. I have just had more time to try because he's back at work and I am still on leave.
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  • Usually he can, by the time LO gets really fussy I am beyond done for the day so my husband does his best. The only time he cant is when it is feeding time.




     

  • He can, often better than me. We have different methods and he had to figure his out on his own - as do I.
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  • image surpriseaddition:

    My DH is really good at calming my LO....however, this is #3 for us.  I think your DH needs to find his own style so he is comfortable with what he is doing.  I think babies are a lot like dogs in that they can sense when someone isn't confident and that makes them more uncomfortable.

    This too! Babies are very smart and they can tell when someone is unsure of what they are doing. Even my 5 year old can calm LO down better than me sometimes. She just talks to him and rubs his cheek and down he goes.




     

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    DH is an old pro by now, so he has no problems. He was very anxious when DS10 was a baby (he'd never even held a newborn) but after a few general tips, I had to let him find his own way. Which he did, beautifully. 
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    Sometimes I feel like my DH is way better at calming him than I'm. Fortunately, we have a very easy baby so far, and he does not need a lot of calming, and cries only when hungry or wet. My DH uses The Happiest baby on the Block techniques. Good luck I'm sure your husband will figure out what works for him.
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  • I have this same problem.  I feel bad for DH, because DD seems to get fussy at night when he is home & he can hardly ever get her to calm down.  He already feels like a bad Dad, because he is only home for 3-4 hours in the evening with us before bedtime.  I am just assuming that she calms down for me, because I spend all day with her & we are used to each other.  GL to you!
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  • image mommacakes4u:
    image surpriseaddition:

    My DH is really good at calming my LO....however, this is #3 for us.  I think your DH needs to find his own style so he is comfortable with what he is doing.  I think babies are a lot like dogs in that they can sense when someone isn't confident and that makes them more uncomfortable.

    This too! Babies are very smart and they can tell when someone is unsure of what they are doing. Even my 5 year old can calm LO down better than me sometimes. She just talks to him and rubs his cheek and down he goes.



    Totally agree with this! MH can calm the baby, but he does it in totally different ways. My methods don't necessarily work for him, and vice versa. So I do think its what comes natural to you that works. It's interesting!
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    image ksmama13:
    I have this same problem.  I feel bad for DH, because DD seems to get fussy at night when he is home & he can hardly ever get her to calm down.  He already feels like a bad Dad, because he is only home for 3-4 hours in the evening with us before bedtime.  I am just assuming that she calms down for me, because I spend all day with her & we are used to each other.  GL to you!

    For what it's worth, babies are typically fussiest around that time. Parents are getting home from work, supper is being fixed and eaten, older kids might be wired now that homework is done. It's usually overstimulation time for baby, so it is a very common time for fussiness. Let your DH know that it's not him - its just her adjusting to your schedule.   

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  • Yeah, pretty sure this little girl is gonna be a Daddy's Girl in no time. He's already teaching her about zerberts and she gets all wide eyed when he does it then gives a little smile...it turns her fussiness around in no time.

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  • My dh is great when I'm not around. When i am his first instinct is to tell me she's hungry and hand her back. He also loses patience, I think out of fear he'll do something wrong. So he tells me she likes me better and gives her back. It's getting better since he's finding his own ways to do things.
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  • My LO loves when my husband takes her outside to walk around while he holds her. I am too lazy, err...I mean I let that be their special thing.
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  • My DH is magic.  I swear he is some kind of baby whisperer.  I think it's because he had to do so much while we were in the hospital because it was just too hard for me to jump up.

    I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you.  My instinct says that the more he does it, he'll figure out what works.

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  • image MommaG123:
    You just have to let him work it out for himself. Not every person calms a baby the same way and it is important for him to figure out what works for him and your LO. That was the hardest thing for me with number 1. If you can go take a bath and put ear buds in or something so you can't hear her and don't want to come rushing on to the rescue.


    Agreed. I have a problem with this too though. Our LO has feeding problems and I feed her the most so I know what works best for her. H is only here at night and doesn't have as much practice so I have to bite my tongue a lot.
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