May 2013 Moms

Surprised by anything?

I'm guilty of having preconceived notions about things before and during pregnancy. I was sure I felt a certain way about certain things, but post delivery I'm not so sure.

1. I definitely underestimated how difficult having a newborn would be. I knew it would be hard, but am surprised by how much harder it is than I expected.

2. I thought I would want to be a SAHM. I have to return to work for financial reasons, so it's a moot point, but I find myself actually looking forward to going back.

3. DH and I always discussed trying for two children, possibly even three. Now, I feel scared about the prospect of having another. I love my DD and I'm not sure if I'm just overwhelmed by the newness of this all, but I'm not so sure I want to do this again.

Are you surprised by any postpartum feelings you're having? Or have any longstanding feelings that you've had changed?

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Re: Surprised by anything?

  • I thought I'd be looking forward to going back to work. I'm not. I wish I didn't have to.
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  • Ditto everything you've said. 

    I actually lost my job back in March, so I'm pretty much a SAHM for the time being. I'm surprised at how disappointed I am that I don't have a job to go back to at the moment. But, on the other hand, I know I'd be a crazy stressed out wreck (more than I am already!) if I knew I had to get ready to go back to work in a couple of weeks. 

    BFP #1 - 9/7/12 (my 35th bday!) EDD - 5/15/13 DS born 5/13/13

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  • kmcd23kmcd23
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    I really thought I'd handle the long nights better, because I've never been a good sleeper myself. I didn't think it would be easy, but I didn't think it would be this hard.

    I thought I'd stick to my convictions more about cloth diapers, pacifiers, etc... but see above, exhaustion takes it's toll and suddenly I just don't give a flip. :/ Kind of disappointing.

    I thought I'd be more flexible emotionally about whatever happened with birth, as long as he was ok, but I'm still not ok with how everything went, and battle regrets and guilt about it all the time. I know all that matters is that he's healthy, but I'm holding on to it like a bad grudge.

    I thought I'd spend more time in maternity clothes, and not have to worry about shopping soon. This one is good and bad. Good to be getting my body back, bad to be having to shop already for a transitional wardrobe.

    I thought I'd trust people with him more. But I don't. Not even a little bit. Outside of the doc offices, only H and my mom have held him, and I even limited my mom because her wrists are bad and I was terrified she would drop him.

    That being said, I'm the one who bobbled his head, nudged it against a doorway, etc. while walking around in the middle of the night exhausted. I never thought it would be me making clumsy mistakes. Goes back to the lack of sleep I guess. 

  • kmcd23kmcd23
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  • I agree about the hardness of a newborn.

    I thought I'd have no problems BFing since I teach new moms how to BF for a living.

    I didn't think the post partum blues would be so rough. 

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  • Mine is more of I didn't realize I had so much amnesia. I don't remember anything from the newborn/PP period with DD and it was only 17 months ago.
    I forgot how much they poop. I forgot how much recovery from a csection sucks. I don't remember this nasty overhangy skin above my csection scar. And the list goes on........


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  • I knew BFing would be hard but I didnt think I'd have so many problems with supply. I'm doing my best but still have a lot of feelings of guilt and failure.

    I didnt think my hormones would be so all over the place either. I was pretty even keeled throughout my pregnancy and was hopeful that would continue after birth but now I'm a crying fool. Stupid hormones.


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  • I thought I'd want to rely on my mom more. She retired in part to watch my girl a few days a week when I go back to work. I cringe when he touches her. She's always been a great mom to me, and she did the newborn thing three times, but I can't handle her with DD. it's probably all the "you should start solids, why can't she have juice, you hold her too much" talk.
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  • I agree with not realizing just how hard the newborn stage would be. When I heard that babies wake every two-three hours to feed, for some reason I just figured they would be sleeping for 2-3 hours and that I would be able to sleep then too... but then there is the time it takes to feed them, and then time to pump, and time to rock them to sleep... so even if LO sleeps 3 hours I usually only get one hour of that! 

    I promised myself I'd keep an open mind, but I'm surprised by how quickly my mind has changed on certain things when it comes to raising kids! Two and a half weeks in and I would definitely not judge another parent for the choices they make... it's so different once you're there... 

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  • I didn't think my physical recovery would be so slow because I thought my delivery was going to be straightforward like the rest of my pregnancy.

    I thought my weight loss would be a lot slower but I was too stressed immediately pp to eat well. Usually I go the other direction and stress eat and gain weight.

    I didn't think I would enjoy the daily repetitive care of LO with diapers, bottles, comforting her, etc. but I actually do.
    Baby girl born 5/20/13. Figuring it out as we go. :)
  • 1. I thought is be ok only having 1 baby, but I really don't know. On the other hand, I can't imagine loving another LO a much even though I know I would.

    2. I figured going back to work would be ok... I don't go back for 6. More weeks and it already makes me cry.

    3. I underestimated how stressful living in a hotel and then with my parents for DH and I. I'm ready to be in our new house... 4 more weeks

    4. I didn't realize what a control freak I am. It really came to light now that I have LO and I've hurt DHs feelings. I'm sorry for that. I just want LO to be safe.

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  • image kmcd23:

    I thought I'd be more flexible emotionally about whatever happened with birth, as long as he was ok, but I'm still not ok with how everything went, and battle regrets and guilt about it all the time. I know all that matters is that he's healthy, but I'm holding on to it like a bad grudge.

    I'm sorry you feel that way. I know sometimes I have to grieve for what I feel could have been in my life if I didn't have a chronic illness. It always feels like such a waste of time when I am going through it, but I think it is important to process things. Hopefully before too long it won't feel like such a battle!

    Things I'm surprised by-

    1. How different DD is than DS. This is mostly good/fun stuff. Except for her being a night owl.

    2. How hard it is to recover from even an easy delivery with a 14 month old.

    3. How badly I want to be able to get back into a routine of some sort. 

    Married to E on June 5, 2010
    Gave birth to baby boy, I, on March 25, 2012
    Gave birth to baby girl, A, on May 20, 2013
    Baby #3 due April 29, 2015

    Recovering from mitochondrial dysfunction and Addison's/possibly very severe adrenal burn out using food, medicine, and a large amount of garden therapy.
  • I'm surprised by...

    How much my DH and I have come together as a team for M, but at the same time having incredibly short fuses for things that irritated us, mostly related to relatives.

    How bad I was a judging what type of parent I thought I would be, I was anti co-sleeping, anti-paci... etc. and I am eating my words for breakfast. 

    How much I don't care about being covered in spit up, poop or pee.

    How much I just want to hold M and cuddle with her, I'm a little sad that she's already getting so big even though she's still so little.

    How fast time has gone. I can't believe she's 3 weeks already!  


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  • Ditto to all of the PPs about underestimating just how hard this would be.  I see pregnant women and want to run up to them like a crazy person and tell them what I know, but they'll have to figure it out on their own.  I never believed anyone before.  

    The baby blues also caught me off guard.  I had no idea just how crazy the hormones would make me feel.  The only reason I'm pretty sure I didn't/don't have PPD is because I am consciously aware of how insane I'm being but lack the ability to control my emotions.  

    On the good side, I read too many recovery horror stories and I was pleasantly surprised about how good I felt almost immediately.  Now I understand how women can have more than one baby :)  

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  • 1. I wanted to try for more children. Now, post partum I'm scared to do it all again. The labour turning into a c section was quite traumatic for me so I'm scared to do it all again. I hope this feeling changes.

    2. I never realised the baby blues would be so tough to get through. Not just for me but for MH. I feel absolute love and joy for my daughter but not much of anything for anyone else so I'm quite curt and snippy. I'm looking forward to being my loving self again.

    3. I never thought BFing would be so hard!
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  • 1. Always thought I would be dying to go back to work but I'm now dreading it. I would love to be a sahm but can't for financial reasons. I'm lucky bc my mom will be watching lo but I would much prefer to do so myself.

    2. I find myself already crying about lo growing up too fast. He's only 12 days old. Chalking this one up to hormones. Wish he could stay little I love little babies.

    3. My son is an easy baby. I get decent sleep and he's not fussy often. Having a newborn is easier than I thought it would be. I was kinda scared since dh works 3rd shift so I'm on my own all week during the night. i may change my mind once I go back to work.

    4. I used to be a heavy sleeper so I was worried about not hearing lo but that has changed.
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  • image JenJen2209:
    I knew BFing would be hard but I didnt think I'd have so many problems with supply. I'm doing my best but still have a lot of feelings of guilt and failure. I didnt think my hormones would be so all over the place either. I was pretty even keeled throughout my pregnancy and was hopeful that would continue after birth but now I'm a crying fool. Stupid hormones.

    This is me. I'm doing the best I can, but everyday I have to convince myself it's worth it.

    I'm honestly surprised how much of a time suck all the feedings really are. Between feeding, giving her a bottle, pumping and spending the time she's awake interacting with her, I barely have a couple hours a day to do much of anything. Most of the time it's 10 minutes here, 15 minutes there, an hour if I'm really really lucky.

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  • image CNJ4EVA:
    I'm guilty of having preconceived notions about things before and during pregnancy. I was sure I felt a certain way about certain things, but post delivery I'm not so sure.

    1. I definitely underestimated how difficult having a newborn would be. I knew it would be hard, but am surprised by how much harder it is than I expected.

    2. I thought I would want to be a SAHM. I have to return to work for financial reasons, so it's a moot point, but I find myself actually looking forward to going back.

    3. DH and I always discussed trying for two children, possibly even three. Now, I feel scared about the prospect of having another. I love my DD and I'm not sure if I'm just overwhelmed by the newness of this all, but I'm not so sure I want to do this again. Are you surprised by any postpartum feelings you're having? Or have any longstanding feelings that you've had changed?

    It's like you jumped into my head and wrote down what I was thinking. I seriously underestimated how hard this would be and the ways in which it would be difficult. And I always thought I'd want to be a SAHM, but I really miss my job and my coworkers and having somewhere to go everyday. BF and I have talked about #2 but honestly I don't know if I can go through all of this again. 

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    Lilypie - (KT6O)  Lilypie - (rKhA)

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  • 1. I'm surprised by how difficult breastfeeding is - when people talked about making sure you had support if you were planning on breastfeeding, I didn't quite understand. Now I do. It's weird that something that is supposed to be "natural" seems to be far from it...

    2. I knew I wouldn't want to go back to work, but I know I HAVE to....but I REALLY don't want to go back. The thought of someone watching LO during the day makes me sad :(

    3. Newborns poop so much!! I knew they pooped a lot....but I didn't think it'd be like 10 times a day! 


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