Single Parents

Worst thing....

Hey all!

Question for you --- putting something together and would love your input!

What is the WORST thing ever said to you as a single parent? (Could be mean, funny, anything that really stands out to you....)

Looking forward to your responses! Single parents are super heroes in my eyes - you all rock :)

Bump Jackie

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Re: Worst thing....

  • My personal favorite was when I was PG with LO and divorced and someone at work asked, "Do you know who the father is?" Uh, what? I wanted to say something like, "No, no I don't. There are 5, maybe 6 possibilities. Maury has me scheduled for next week. But thanks for asking!"
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  • ugh.. "do you know who the father is?"

    "what happened with the dad?"  

    "is 'so & so' your babies father?"

    "you're filing for child support, right? Get that mother *&$#%"

    "I'm like a single mom because my husband works away from the house during the week"

    "what are you going to do about him not having a dad?"

    one time this guy was asking about the babies father, so I said "he chose not to be involved" and this guys reply was "well you're the one that slept with the @$$hole" 

    The absolute worst was "OH you're going to get hit on SO much... Because single moms are easy"

     

     

  • image pregokat:

    ugh.. "do you know who the father is?"

    "what happened with the dad?"  

    "is 'so & so' your babies father?"

    "you're filing for child support, right? Get that mother *&$#%"

    "I'm like a single mom because my husband works away from the house during the week"

    "what are you going to do about him not having a dad?"

    one time this guy was asking about the babies father, so I said "he chose not to be involved" and this guys reply was "well you're the one that slept with the @$$hole" 

    The absolute worst was "OH you're going to get hit on SO much... Because single moms are easy" 

    Dude. Who are you talking to? These people sound awful. I would stop talking to them immediately. WTF.

     

    Nobody's really said much to me, but then again, I don't get out much. The worst I've gotten is the assumption that I'd be bored at home all day with a newborn, but that's not exclusive to single parents :P 

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  • image pregokat:

    ugh.. "do you know who the father is?"

    "what happened with the dad?"  

    "is 'so & so' your babies father?"

    "you're filing for child support, right? Get that mother *&$#%" 

    I got those too. I also got a version of the "single moms are easy" line, but replace "single moms" with "pregnant chicks". And yes, he said "chicks" not "girls" 

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  • "I feel like a single mom because my H/SO/FI is gone all week long working"....uhhhh, no, you're not a single mom.  They do come home to you.  They are still there parenting with you and supporting you in what you're doing.  You still have the companionship of your partner!!!

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  • CoIvieCoIvie
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    I haven't been told anything personally but single moms are a topic alot on my social media feeds..

    About how we made the choice to have sex unprotected with an ahole..

    it's easy to tell a no good before you have sex with them..

    The person probably didn't change at all..they've been the same person so why Be surprised they didn't want to take care of it

    But keep in mind these are all people who don't have kids and know nothing of other people's situations. Before I was pregnant, single parenting was never a subject I had a negative opinion on unless it was just a parent not letting someone be involved who wanted to be in their kids life.
  • I also got the "you do know about birth control, right?" comments. Yes, and I am especially familiar with how it fails!
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  • I think the worst thing I get is the "look".  The OH your a SINGLE mom look.  Um, yes, yes I am.  I guess I could have stayed married to the selfish, worthless POS, but I kind of figured it would be best not too. 

    I hate that f*%king look...makes me want to throat punch them. 

     

    and I must chime in on a PP comment about people who say they are a "like" a single mom because their husband travels for work...your husband traveling for work, um, no, doesn't make you a single mom.  I did that for a while too...guess what, NOTHING LIKE BEING A SINGLE MOM.  I have done both...let me make you a list of differences...hmmm where to start, well, I now take care of one child (and enjoy doing) not a 30 something year old child and his child to his first wife, oh, and I support the two of us on ONE EFFING INCOME.  Your HUSBAND, with his INCOME, traveling for work, um, yeah, HIS CHECK STILL HITS YOUR BANK ACCOUNT.  So NO, YOU ARE NOT A SINGLE MOM.  Pay for outrageous healthcare, daycare, food, shelter and everything else on one paycheck and then get back to me on being a single mom.

  • image jmccall79:
    "I feel like a single mom because my H/SO/FI is gone all week long working"....uhhhh, no, you're not a single mom.nbsp; They do come home to you.nbsp; They are still there parenting with you and supporting you in what you're doing.nbsp; You still have the companionship of your partner!!!
    This is the clincher to me. I've heard this a few times now and it really gets under my skin.
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  • Welfare babies.

    That term makes me stabby. 

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  • image Runaway22:

    Welfare babies.

    That term makes me stabby. 

    Word! I get that a lot, but I work 40 hours (usually more) a week and we are not on assistance. It pisses me off! 

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    30 - Waiting to TTC#2

    PCOS -Fibroids -Type 1 Diabetes

  • "Adoption is your best solution"

    "You slept with him" 

    "At least I know you put out" 

    "Who is the father? You do know who the father is?" 

    "I don't think I could be a single mom, it is alot of work" 

    "You need another one. There needs to be a sibling" 

    "Oh you get WIC? Why do you have tattoos?" 

     Q: "How did you get pregnant?"

    A: "That would be the 3 day pub crawl and being too drunk to put the condom on correctly. I was on birth control, I thought I was ok." 

    I am a single mom, yes but I am still a human. I made a mistake with the boyfriend I had. Yes, being a single parent is hard work, but it has made me stronger, more willing to fight for what I want, and more willing to realize who is going to be there when the world is crashing around you. Yes, I have tattoos and piercings but I got them before I was pregnant and haven't gotten new ones since because I can't afford to. I am only using WIC, which is actually funded by the companies the stated requires you to use. I do not get child support since her father decided that he doesn't want to be there. 

    I am a single mother. I am allowed to be proud of myself. I am allowed to feel down and desperate at times when I can't get her to sleep or when I am trying to figure out where the gas money is coming from to last until payday. I get to revel in the joys that my child brings and know that I am the one shaping who she is going to be tomorrow. I am proud that I fought PPD and 9 months later am happier than I have been in a long time. 

    I am a human but my mistakes have not ruined who I am. I am a single mom

     


     

     

    26 yr old single mama to Violet Jane, Worker Drone to the Man and perpetual student. Image and video hosting by TinyPic9/7/2012
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  • When women that aren't single compare dads being out of town to being a single mom, that's the worst.

    The other terrible one is, "When are you going to start dating again so your kids can have a dad?" Said mostly by family members.

    Wasn't there a politician that wanted to make single parenting illegal? I know he had some nasty things to say.
  • image bakingkitty:

    "Adoption is your best solution"

    Ewww, I forgot about this one.  

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  • Dude. Who are you talking to? These people sound awful. I would stop talking to them immediately. WTF.

     

    Nobody's really said much to me, but then again, I don't get out much. The worst I've gotten is the assumption that I'd be bored at home all day with a newborn, but that's not exclusive to single parents :P 

     

     

    Yeah most of these ppl were like work ppl or acquaintances... The one guy who said the stuff about "single moms are easy" and " you slept with the @$$hole" was a friend of a family member who happened to have a class with me the semester I was prego... I don't talk to him anymore! lol I just looked at him and asked if thats what all his baby mamas say (he has a complex because he has tons of baby mamas and owes tons of child support so felt it was ok for him to chime in with that lovely comment.. jerk) 

    Oh Oh Oh I never mentioned about the advice my sister gave me when I announced she's going to be an aunt

    "you should totally abort"  way to be supportive sis! (I don't keep in touch with her unless its necessary)

  • image jmccall79:
    "I feel like a single mom because my H/SO/FI is gone all week long working"....uhhhh, no, you're not a single mom.nbsp; They do come home to you.nbsp; They are still there parenting with you and supporting you in what you're doing.nbsp; You still have the companionship of your partner!!!


    I can't stand this either. I'm in a weird position since my husband was wrongfully convicted. So while we're still together, he isn't here and can't contribute financially so I'm working and raising our son until, hopefully, everything gets appealed. But mostly the "my DH annoys me because of such and such" pisses me off. At least he can be around. I'd take all my husband's bad habits if he could be here or even just be able to meet his son.
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  • So most people a very supportive but about a month ago I was interviewing for a job and the woman stopped and looked and me and said"wait, you're pregnant AND single?? Aren't you scared?!"

    Umm... I guess, a little, but not really something I want to discuss with you!!

    I also and a semiclose friend ask me if I was going to keep it when I told him I was pregnant. Seriously? I'm a 33 year old highly educated independent woman who wants kids...duh! besides, why would I tell him I was pregnant if I wasn't??

    Sometimes people just speak too quickly before they think!!
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  • "Have you heard from the daddy?"

    "When are you going to have another?"

    and my personal favorite "That baby needs a daddy. Let me introduce you to my friend." 

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  • I've been told I have "no right to complain" because I'm the one who got myself into the situation and because i'm the one who "slept with a douchebag" (and i wasn't even complaining really early in my pregnancy i just mentioned how i wasn't able to keep down anything down for two days and was worried and dehydrated) anytime i mention anything i mention about pregnancy i get the 3rd degree for...i hate it. i didn't get myself this way!
    Liliana Seraphina born 9/5/2103


  • CoIvieCoIvie
    250 Answers 500 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
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    image inthelost:
    I've been told I have "no right to complain" because I'm the one who got myself into the situation and because i'm the one who "slept with a douchebag" and i wasn't even complaining really early in my pregnancy i just mentioned how i wasn't able to keep down anything down for two days and was worried and dehydrated anytime i mention anything i mention about pregnancy i get the 3rd degree for...i hate it. i didn't get myself this way!


    Yeah I hate the "well you slept with him" crap. It's like "really, no shiiiiittt. Yeah I did sleep with him and the sex was great. Doesn't mean people don't change". I can't really bash mine because I honestly don't know what he's going to end up doing, but for now it's like it is what it is. I just try to avoid the "daddy talk" for now unless its my close friends or family. Don't have time for the "young dumb" statements. Or other people of my same race stereotyping me.
  • This just happened to me today.....

    I am just starting to really show and an elderly woman patted my tummy, then  grabbed my left hand and noticing my lack of wedding ring said

    "Ohh, you're not married, such a shame, and you're such a beautiful girl, too. Well, don't worry, pretty as you are some man will still want to take you on, even with a bastard child."

    I. ALMOST...Passed..the heck...OUT...

    Sometimes, you just gotta laugh and send blessings of health and knowledge to those living in the dark ages...

    Wishes of joy to you all....

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