February 2013 Moms

Ugh frustrating (mom vent)

My mom is here visiting for a few days, but I'm always so much more stressed out when she's around that I never enjoy our visits. She always puts me down about things I want to do with my life, and the only time she supports me is when I'm working myself into exhaustion. And then there's the rude comments...tonight when I was casually talking to her about how my fiance and I would like our kids to be close in age, she responded, "well, that will be hard by yourself." I don't know if she assumes that my fiance doesn't help me at all or if she thinks at some point he'll just leave us? But it's definitely not the case, and it makes me upset that she would say something like that.

And on top of that, when she's around DD she absolutely refuses to put her down. I can barely get her away from her to change and feed her. So for the past few nights I've had an overstimulated, cranky baby. Ugh. 

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Re: Ugh frustrating (mom vent)

  • Yuck, that does sound frustrating. Do you not have family around? Or are you a SAHM? Maybe that's what she meant by "by yourself." I would hope so, anyway... 
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  • What a weird comment for her to make. Has she ever had a man leave her? Maybe she's just saying that because of her experiences.

    Luckily my mom is a huge help when she's here, but I feel the same way as you're describing about my MIL. My mom lives across an ocean, my MIL lives an hour away, yet I'm hesitant to ask her for help because her visits are always so stressful for me. So I feel your pain.


    BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
    BFP2: 3/18/12, blighted ovum, natural m/c @ 7w4d
    BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence

  • "Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days." -Benjamin Franklin
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  • e. e. cummings  I'm in a quote-y kind of mood tonight. This quote is one my sister sent me when I was getting a lot of backlash from my mother for continuing to breast feed my daughter and not switching to formula; we were having some BF difficulties and her weight gain was not steady. It truly stuck with me and I hope it can give you some comfort, too.
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  • I have a similar relationship with my mom and this is why I limit my parents' visits. It's so hard, and sad.

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  • Oh I know what is going on here.  By yourself, she meant without her.  See my previous post about most negative comments stemming from baby jealousy.  She wishes she got to spend more time with LO.  Proof of this would be her refusal to put her down.  I totally know what you mean about overstimulating the baby.  My mother in law does this and says "Are you trying to sleep?  Are you trying to sleep?" over and over to my kid when we visit. Frustrating but again, baby jealousy.
  • image carriesu2003:
    Oh I know what is going on here.  By yourself, she meant without her.  See my previous post about most negative comments stemming from baby jealousy.  She wishes she got to spend more time with LO.  Proof of this would be her refusal to put her down.  I totally know what you mean about overstimulating the baby.  My mother in law does this and says "Are you trying to sleep?  Are you trying to sleep?" over and over to my kid when we visit. Frustrating but again, baby jealousy.

    Omg this is so true. She lives in northern California, and I'm in southern California, so it's not like we're that far away, but my fiance and I really like to just keep to ourselves for the most part. We don't even see his parents more than once a month, and they only live 20 minutes away. But when my mom was here when DD was born, before she even left she was like "when can I come visit again?" I was like jeesh...I moved to the other end of the state for a reason. But it's kind of weird that she's jealous yet making comments about how having another baby soon is a bad idea. 

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