Babies: 9 - 12 Months

I get so pissed off at my day care provider-is this normal?

On multiple occurrences I have gotten really upset , annoyed and mad at things my at home day care woman says to me.  Is this normal or does it mean I need to find a new day care provider?

My baby is 10 months old and has been going to her since 3.5 months, about 3-4 days a week.  Baby seems to like her but she is a happy baby and likes everyone.

We picked this person b/c she said our schedule could be flexible.  I don't have to work at a certain time and let my baby wake up naturally.  Now, when we're late I try to text and give her a heads up, but today we were a little later than usual and she was snotty and said she would need to take on another baby if we're not using her full time.  She was watching 2 others today, so if the day care is open, when does it matter when we get there, she's being paid a full day no matter what.  Now my baby has fallen twice being there, which I am sure happens, but how can she handle to take on more when she already has 3-5 babies+toddlers plus she has 3 older ones of her own home for the summer.  First, she picked on us being late to pick up, now it is late to drop off, and part/full time.  Is she just a control freak?  Also, do your day cares tell you what they feed your child or do you have to ask.  I am also concerned her diaper is not getting changed enough.  With us, she never has a red bottom and when she goes, it is.  Also when she is picked up she always has a wet diaper and multiple leaks/explosions.  I don't feel like she's going through enough diapers.

Sorry for the long post, I just needed to go somewhere, I don't know what to do. 

 

Re: I get so pissed off at my day care provider-is this normal?

  • jen302jen302
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    I don't have my daughter in daycare but I think you answered your own question. I'd yank my child right out of there. The aggravation and worry isn't worth it.
  • I don't think all of that is normal. She shouldn't complain about you being late if she gets paid for the whole day, that just doesn't make sense. Less work but still getting paid? I'll take it! So that's strange for her to say.

    The diaper thing would make me mad. Does she send home a little sheet with info from the day? DS doesn't go to daycare, but from what I understand it's very normal for daycares and home daycares to send home a sheet of paper with # of bottles, solids eaten, and diaper changes (poop or pee). If you would like to continue using his DCP I would ask for her to fill something like that out.

     

  • When I ran an in home daycare I had sheets of paper with "what I did today" on them. I recorded when, what and how much each kid ate, what time I changed a diaper and if it was pee and or poop and what time and how long each kid napped. You should be getting something like this from any daycare in home or other that your child goes to. Also, if a parent was going to be late getting there or picking up, I always appreciated a text just so I knew but I was never ever snotty to the parents. Actually, I always felt very close to the parents and had a great relationship with them. I would start searching for a new daycare but keep LO where they are at until you find one so you aren't in a bind.

    Also, do you pay for full days or by the hour? Bc I'd be really uneasy if a parent paid by the hour or decided to make it a half day if I was expecting a full day of pay.
  • I think if you are questioning or have these feelings towards your daycare provider you may want to look for other options out there. It's not worth it especially if you already have suspicions or doubting certain things.
  • We pay by the full or half day.  Today was a full day so she was not losing any money with us being late.  I texted her yesterday when we were late, maybe she was expecting it.  But our time always varies.  We do only pay when she is there which is good, so when she was sick we didn't have to pay, or if my husband has less work some times we just say we will need 2 days this week, and pay for only those days.  I think I will ask her to write everything down and start looking around for a new place.  I had tried this before, and she only wrote "poops" down, forgot writing the afternoon nap, or last change and feedings before pickup, and I just gave up- I need to reinstate it and not feel like I am being a pain b/c it seems like that should be expected.  I feel bad switching baby but I think it would be best in the long run.  I am concerned about finding the flexibility.  I would prefer we keep her home whenever we can.  First I wondered am I resenting her b/c I wish I was spending that time with my baby but I don't think that is it any more.  My husband also agrees with me that she is rude and greedy.  Not good qualities for a day care provider.  Money should really be the last thing.
  • image chrissym47:
    We pay by the full or half day. nbsp;Today was a full day so she was not losing any money with us being late. nbsp;I texted her yesterday when we were late, maybe she was expecting it. nbsp;But our time always varies. nbsp;We do only pay when she is there which is good, so when she was sick we didn't have to pay, or if my husband has less work some times we just say we will need 2 days this week, and pay for only those days. nbsp;I think I will ask her to write everything down and start looking around for a new place. nbsp;I had tried this before, and she only wrote "poops" down, forgot writing the afternoon nap, or last change and feedings before pickup, and I just gave up I need to reinstate it and not feel like I am being a pain b/c it seems like that should be expected. nbsp;I feel bad switching baby but I think it would be best in the long run. nbsp;I am concerned about finding the flexibility. nbsp;I would prefer we keep her home whenever we can. nbsp;First I wondered am I resenting her b/c I wish I was spending that time with my baby but I don't think that is it any more. nbsp;My husband also agrees with me that she is rude and greedy. nbsp;Not good qualities for a day care provider. nbsp;Money should really be the last thing.


    If you google image search Daily Infant Log you can copy and paste a daily log and print it for her to record everything. Drop it off with LO and pick it up at the end of the day. If she doesn't fill it out stay there until she does...I'm sorry you are dealing with this.
  • I just switched my son to another daycare for similar issues.  I had been having conerns for months, battling with them about when he eats, what he eats, naps, diaper changes, falls, etc.  One night I was laying down to go to bed and I was so worried about DS going to daycare the next day I couldn't sleep, that was when I knew it wasn't working.  These people are in charge of human beings, ours, they are being paid to take care of them.  If your not comfortable remove her now, you need to trust and know that your little one is getting the best care you can get her when you can't be with her. 

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  • As a daycare provider myself, my advice is to look elsewhere. As a parent, you deserve to have peace of mind that your child is being taken care of to your expectations and it sounds like she's not. I could probably look past her rudeness if she's good to your child, but the diaper issue, to me, is unacceptable. Explosions do happen, but only once in awhile. 

    With a child as young as yours, I always provide the parents with a journal of the day, so to speak. The parents and I pass back and forth one of those appointment books and I provide them with the following topics: feedings, naps, diapers (# of pees and poops), activities, and other (random facts/info). It's super easy and only takes a few minutes out of my day to fill out. Sometimes, the parents don't care to have all that info, which is fine, but it's their choice.

    As far as telling parents what the kids eat, it does vary. With the infants and up to about 18 mo (that's usually about the point the parents stop sending the journal), I provide the journals which says what time and how much they ate. I do keep close communication with the parents regarding what their child can or cannot eat. Once the kids get to a certain age, most of the parents kinda stop caring because they know my criteria and their kid has been with me long enough. :)

    I really hope this helps! Good luck with your situation. I know that daycare situations can be sensitive. 

     

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  • Like PPs said, I think you've answered your own question. I'm sure it's nice to have the flexibility, but IMO if your LO's diaper isn't getting changed enough who knows what else the provider's being laxed about. I wouldn't be concerned necessarily about him falling twice, my baby's a huge clutz. But, the diaper thing would be a red flag of what else the provider could possibly miss. GL!
  • I am currently looking for childcare for DS.  There have been a few who wanted the children there by a specific time so they could "start their day," which I guess makes sense, but it shouldn't been a big issue if you can't make the time. She doesn't sound very "flexible" if she's getting mad at the time you drop off.  If you are hesitant to pull your LO out, then I would stop by during the day to "check in." If she gets pissed at that, then that's unsettling and you should wonder what goes on during the day when no one else is there.  
  • If your are concerned you should change.  You need to feel comfortable with the place you are leaving your LO especially when she is this young.  It sounds like this lady is being a little entitled.  If you pay a full day it is irrelevant when you drop off LO.  If you pick LO by her pick up deadline that should be fine.  As for the red bum I will say my LO tends to get a redder bottom at DC.  I think it is because they wipe her and change her diaper so quickly as they have other babies to deal with.  The leaks/explosions are unacceptable though.  Where I live diapers must be changed at least every 2 hours.  It sounds like this lady is slacking on that which is a huge no no in my mind.  
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  • You need to listen to your gut.  Find a new daycare provider immediately.

    How can one person watch 6-8 kids?  How can she even be considering taking on another child?  Is she licensed?  Those ratios are way above any I've ever heard of.  

    At the DCs my DDs have gone to, we would get a daily log that showed exactly what they ate and when, when they slept, when their diapers were changed, and what the diapers were (dry, wet, BM).  The centers changed the diapers every two hours, whether they were wet or not.  The logs also noted if any diaper ointment was used, and if DD was injured, we received a detailed incident report.  That kind of communication was great, and really helped us understand DD's routine and how she was doing. 


  • I can imagine it would be hard to plan if she never knows when you're coming or going.  I assume when you say your picked up your LO late, that you mean later than normal, not past the operating hours. If she agreed to the type of schedule then she either needs to deal with it or let you know it's not working.

    Does she have anyone else working with her? If not, she's not working legally with that many kids and that's a dangerous situation for your child.

    I suggest you find a new provider.  Also, can you keep some sort if schedule every day? If your child is always awake by 7:30 can you commit to arriving at 9am and something similar for pick-ups? It would probably make it easier on everyone, including LO. They thrive on routine. 

    Good luck!

    ETA: Ditto on what everyone said for the logsheet.  You can find one just by googling.  It should have when/what/how much your baby ate, when they napped and for how long, when or at least how often they pooped/wet. They should be changed or checked no less often than 2 hours, unless they're asleep.

  • I think many of the reasons you have listed are enough to switch DCPs, but why wouldn't you address the diaper and logging food issues earlier?
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  • Everything you described is unacceptable base on my experience which is this:

    1) I can drop and pick up anytime from open to close without comment; I do try to let them know about changes in schedule so that they can staff accordingly.  When I forget they don't give me a hard time about it.

    2) I think they go through TOO many diapers!  Changed every 2 hours and immediately after pooping and everything is recorded.

    3) all food, bottles, activities, naps and her general disposition are logged daily and I get a copy of the log sheet to take home

    4) everything you described is why I choose a center over homecare - she has no oversight which appears to result in poor quality service and zero customer service

  • I've worked at quite a few daycares. The church daycare was licensed and we sent home a paper daily with times they were changed/used potty, what they ate, nap times. Drop off whenever but you had to do full time (which seems like it's not what you need). Kids were not mixed with different ages, there was a 1year old room, 2year old room, etc.

    The in home one I worked at was much more flexible but it comes at a "price" if you will. No sheets were sent home with info. We didn't tell parents what was for lunch/snack but we had a schedule so if it was asked easy enough to tell a parent that day and future days foods. As for diaper changes we had a "schedule" like change mid-morning, after lunch, etc. Obviously if we noticed a full diaper between then we'd change but we had more kids in our care here rather than a licensed place which we had 3babies under 1 to each staff person (much more personal attention in that case). Do you bring diaper supplies or do they use their wipes? I know my LO gets red bottom from Huggies, but is fine with Pampers wipes.

    Overall though pull LO if you want to, go with your gutt. I think you'd get more information/communication from a licensed facility though again the flexible schedule may not be available. GL! 

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  • image jen302:
    I don't have my daughter in daycare but I think you answered your own question. I'd yank my child right out of there. The aggravation and worry isn't worth it.

     I agree & think that if you're asking yourself if you need to change providers, then I think that you do.  This woman doesn't sound very organized, & she sounds to be having a difficult time with the workload she has currently.  I'm not sure what you're other options are, but if you're concerned for your LO's safety (the falls, diaper rashes, etc) then I would look for another daycare or provider.  Hope you're able to work something out :)

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  • I would think since she's paid a full day, she should be happy the less hours you use. Makes no sense.

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